192 



NEW ENGLANPy FARMER. 



Jan. 2, 1820. 



MISCELLANIES. 



NEW YEAR ADDRESS 



To the Patrons of the J^ew England Farmer. 

 Again the incessant lapse of Time 

 Demands our Monument of Rhyme, 

 Like that which Horace bragg'd about, 

 And tall enough the skies to flout, 

 Compared with which the Tower of Babel 

 Would seem the lean-to of a stable. 



We 're highly gratified to find. 

 The public more and more inclined 

 The Cultivator's ait to practise. 

 And patronize, because the fact is 

 That righteousness and cultivation 

 Go hand in hand t' exalt a nation : 

 And Husbandry 's a hobby which 

 A world may ride with spur and switch, 

 (Though not like jades, which will not stir 

 Without the aid of switch and spur) ; — 

 If all mankind at once bestrode him 

 Tbey could not tire nor overload him. 

 Not only men, who sit astride, 

 But Ladies also on a side- 

 Saddle so neat, or on a pillion, 

 That's big enough to hold a million. 

 May ride our hobby with a cheer-up, 

 And he 'II not kick, bite, plunge, nor rear up. 

 But vires in eundo crescit,' 

 As cousin Virgi! somewhere has it. 

 So Fire, which has oblain'd ascendence. 

 When setting up for independence. 

 Prepares by heat of radiation 

 Combustibles for conflagration ; — 

 By buiuiog fast, the mighty master 

 Acquires fresh means of burning faster. 

 Till blazing pyramids arise. 

 Which threaten to coDsume the skies. 



With ken prophetic, we behold 

 A brighter age than that of gold. 

 Which, with accelerating pace. 

 Is hurrying on to bless our race ; 

 And hail its grand approximation, 

 Mark'd by superior cultivation. 

 When wise men's heails, and good men's hearts. 

 Devoted to tlifi art of arts, 

 And industry's untiring hand. 

 Shall make a garden of our land — 

 Yea, make New England, all exceeding, 

 A new edition of old Eden, 

 If not quite equal, yet before it, 

 In many a toot, and fruit, and floret. 

 Indebted for its propagation 

 To modern arts of cultivation. 



We 're tranced with rapture, when we find 

 The fairer moiety of mankind, 

 Whose smile makes mortal man's conditioa 

 But little short of sheer fruition, 

 By whose society is given 

 Earth's purest prototype of Heaven, 

 Th' angelic part of human nature 

 Inspire and aid the Cultivator. 

 A plant that 's sunn'd by Ladies' eyes 

 Will like an exhalation rise, 

 We hope that Horticulture may 

 Be therefore blest with Beauty's ray. 

 Till Flora's germes gem every waste. 

 And every grove 's a " Bower of Taste."* 



* Virgil, however, says " acquirit," wbicb not rhyming 

 t^ftdity, we use a substitute ;. 



" For rhyme tho rudder is of verses." 



Adam, in Eden, we believe, 

 Had been a brute without his Eve ; 

 An arid heath, a blasted common. 

 Blest with the smiles of lovely woman, 

 We should prefer to a'l that "s rare 

 In piradise, without the Fair. 

 We therefore pray that Fiiendship's hand 

 From every Lady in the land. 

 May be to us henceforth extended. 

 From this time till our time is ended ; 

 And would solicit every Charmer 

 To please to patronize our Farmer, 

 And make those gentlemen, who claim 

 Her approbation, do the same ; 

 And common justice must require her 

 To grant this boon to an admiier 

 Like us, so prone to chaunt her praises. 

 In verse which absolutely blazes. 



His head is very like a stump 

 Whate'er its craniologic bump. 

 Who does not see that we the Tillers 

 Of Earth compose the nation's pillars. 

 And rnay be styled with strict propriety 

 The props of civilized society. 

 What would have been poor mortals' lot- 

 Yea, what were man, if we were not ? 

 Nature's poor, simple, houseless child. 

 The weakest wild beast of the wild, 

 Must hve on browse, his home must bo 

 A cavern or a hollow tree ; 

 Sometimes, in spite of feai-s and cares, 

 Be served up raw to wolves and bears, 

 Or raaugre tooth, nail, fist, and truncheon. 

 Make hungry catamounts a luncheon. 



Our art, moreover, claims ascendeuco 

 As geruian to our Independence ; 

 Both, commonly, are coexistent. 

 And each the other's best assistant. 

 We Farmers are a sort of stutf. 

 Tyrants will always find too tough 

 For them to work up into slaves. 

 The servile tools of lordly knaves. 

 Those men who till the stubborn soil, 

 Enlighten'd, and inured to toil. 

 Cannot be made to quail or cower 

 By traitor's art or tyrant's power, 

 They might as well attempt to chaia 

 The west wind in a hurricane; — 

 Make rivers run up hill by fright'ning. 

 Or steal a march on kindled lightning — 

 The great sea-serpent, which we 've read of, 

 Take by the tail and snap his head off— 

 The firmament on cloudy nights. 

 Illume with artificial lights. 

 By si!ch an apparatus as 

 Is used for lighting streets with gas — 

 Or, having split the north pole till it 'a 

 Divided into baker's billets. 

 Make such a blaze as never shone. 

 And torrefy the frozen zone — 

 With clubs assail the polar Bear, 

 And drive the monster from his lair — 

 Attack the comets as they run 

 With loads of fuel for the sun. 

 And overset by oppugnalion 

 Those shining colliers of creation — 

 The Milky Way Mc'Adamize, 

 A railway raise to span the skies, 

 Then make, to save Apollo's team. 

 The Solar Chariot go by stea.-n. — 

 These things shall tyrants do, and mer* 



Than we have specified, before 

 Our Cultivators they subdue. 

 While grass is green, or sky is blue. 



But this is spinning out sublimity. 

 As one would cotton yarn for dimity ; 

 We 'II therefore break our thread off here. 

 By wishing you a happy year. 

 And all good things, which can be given 

 To man from all indulgent Heaven. 



Boston, Jan. 1, 1829. 



High Life and Domestic Life. — The gayest vo- 

 tary of pletisure, who pursties the phantoms of 

 genteel dissipation, is generally the dullest of do- 

 mestic companions. In clioosing a partner for 

 life, the selection should not be made merely from 

 public appearances. The undisguised realities of 

 private life, the indications of worth or unworthi- 

 ness, which the family fireside exhibits, are the 

 only traits of character, in which any confidence 

 can be placed. 



^ige and Perseverance. — It is a fault too much 

 practised by both sexes to indulge in listlessness, 

 and a kind of hopeless languor, at the decline of 

 life. Our energies and talents were given us to 

 persevere to the end. 



A Rule for Conversation. — We should be as 

 careful not to offend unnecessarily, as not to mis- 

 lead intentionally, those with whom we converse; 

 and indeed to give unnecessary pain, by remarks 

 in conversation, is not only a breach of manners, 

 but of morals. 



Evenness of Temper. — Madame Necker re- 

 lates the following anecdote M. Abauret, a phi- 

 losopher of Geneva. It is said of him that he 

 had never been out of temper ; some persons, 

 by means of his female servant, were determined 

 to put him to proof. The woman in question 

 slated that she had been his servant for thirty 

 years, and she protested that during that time 

 she had never seen him in a passion. They 

 promised her a sum of money if she would en- 

 deavor to make him angry. She consented, 

 and knowing that he was particularly fond of 

 having his bed well made, she on the day ap- 

 pointed neglected to make it. M. Abauret ob- 

 served it, and the ne.\t morning made the ob- 

 servation to her ; she answered that she had 

 forgotten it ; she said nothing more, but on the 

 same evening she again neglected to make the 

 bed ; the same observation "Aas made on the 

 morrow by the philosopher, and she again made 

 some excuse in a cooler manner than before. 

 On the third day he said to her, " you have not 

 yet made my bed ; you have apparently come ta 

 some resolution on the subject, as you probably 

 found it fatigued you. But after all it is of no 

 great consequence, as I begin to accustom my- 

 self to it as it is." She threw herself at his feet, 

 and avowed all to him. 



JVanied ImmtdiaUly, 



Six or eight Jounieyman Chair Slakers, at ilie Ncwburyport 

 Chair Fariory. — Cash and the highest price given. — Apply to 

 Nathan Haskell, Agent for ihe Proprietors. 



Newburyport, Dec. 19. 1823. * 



The Hunterdon Gazette Establishment Jor sale, 

 Al Fleminffion. Hunterdou county, New Jersey, on reasonable- 

 terms. Address the Editor, (post paid) al Flemingion, Ne* 

 Jersey. 3t Jan 2 



Fublislird every Friday, al S3 per annum, payable al tbe 

 end of die year — Ixu llio.se who pay within sixty days from lh« 

 luno of subscribing, are ealilledlo a deduciioa of filiy ceuu. 



