264 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER 



FEB. IT. i841 



MISCELLANEOUS 



Tbo viuch Ealing. — One of the noble effects of 

 ci vili'.'-atiim and refirienieat is to inuke glutlons of 

 the human species. As the state of society im- 

 proves, the modes of living become more and more 

 artificial. What were luxuries ai;d t'xtravaganc(?s 

 fifty or a hundred years ago, are now inalters of 

 course — the mere necessaries of life. Our ances- 

 tors, who confined themsi'lves to a very simple di- 

 et and a little variety of dishes, were seldom tempt- 

 ed to eat too much. But it is next to impossible 

 for the wealthy people of this age to avoid injuring 

 themselves by too much indulgence at the table. 

 They are led into excess by an artificial appetite 

 and all the enticements of cookery. Cookery, by 

 the way, is too much of a science for the good of 

 the public; and of all literary productions, (with 

 the exception of a few late novels,) we think cook- 

 ery books are the least profitable. Every new dish 

 invented is so much added to the bills of mortality. 

 The kitchen is the vestibule of the graveyard; the 

 cook is purveyor to the undertaker. Plutarch says 

 that his ("ounirynien the Boeotians, were remarkable 

 for their stupidity, because they eat too much ; ihcy 

 were good for nothing else ; and this is generally 

 the case with the great eutrrs of every age and 

 country. King James I., (called by some the 

 British Solomon,) was shown a man who could eat 

 a whole sheep at one sitting. " What can he do 

 more than another man ?" asked the calculating 

 Scotch monarch. " He cannot do as much," was 

 the answer. "Hang him, then," said royal Jamie, 

 » if he eats what would support ten industrious 

 people, and cannot do as much work as one." If 

 people in these times were hanged for similar cau- 

 ses, Avhat an exceedingly busy office would be tliat 

 of Jack Ketch Franklin, Register. 



jyevtr usk qvcslions in a hurry. — " Tom, a word 

 with you." 



" Be quick, then, I'm in a hurry." 



" What did you give your sick horse 't other day." 



" A pint of turpentine." 



John hurries home and administers th'^ same 

 dose to a I'avorite charger, who, strange to say, 

 drops ofi'defunct in half an hour. His opinion ot 

 his friend Tom's veterinary ability is somewhat 

 staggered. He meets him the next day. 



"Well, Tom." 



" Well, John, what is it?" 



" I gave my horse a pint of turpentine, and it 

 killed him as dead as Julius Caesar." 



" So it did mine!" 



The Minister's Jldvice.tj Mr Slick on Choosing 

 a Wife. — " Don't marry t-oo poor a gall, for they 

 are apt to think there is no eend to their husband's 

 puss ; nor too rich a gall, for they are apt to re- 

 mind you of it unpleasantly sometimes; nor too 

 giddy a gall, tor they neglect their family ; nor 

 too demure a one, for Ihey are most apt to give 

 you the dodge — race off, and leave you ; nor one 

 of a different religious sect, for it breeds discord; 

 nor a weak-minded one, for children take all their 



talents from their mothers ; nor a " " O Lord ! 



says I, minister, how you skeer a body ! \\ here 

 onder the sun will you find a nonsuch like what 

 you describe! 'I'here ain't actilly no such critturs 

 amon;; women." "I'll tell you, my son, said he, 

 for I'd like afore I die to see you well mated ; I 

 would, indeed: I'll tell you, though you talk to me 

 BOmetiiiies as if I did n't know nothin' of women. 

 You think nobody can't know 'em but them as romp 

 all their days with them, as you do; but them, let 

 me tell you, know the least, for they are only ac- 

 quainted with the least deserving. I'll gin you a 

 gage to know 'em by that is almost inwarible, uni- 

 wursal. and infalluble: the character and conduct 

 of the umther is a suie and certain guarantee for 

 that of the darter." 



Refection. — If you would increase in wisdom 

 you must reflect. The mere sigM ofthings amounts 

 to nothing. A fool may go round the world and 

 come come back a fool at last, because he has no 

 reflection. One man learns more from a molehill 

 than another does from a mountain. 



jVo time to read. — We have often encountered 

 men who profess to believe they have " no time to 

 read." Now we think of it, they have always been 

 men of one character, the points of which are easi- 

 ly summed up. Nine times out of ten, they are 

 men who have never found lime to confer any sub- 

 stantial advantage either upon their country, their 

 families, or themselves. They generally have 

 time to go to elections, attend public barbecues, 

 camp-meetings, sales and singing schools, but they 

 have " no time to read." They frequently spend 

 whole days in gossipping, tippling, and swapping 

 horses, but they have " no time to read." 1'hey 

 sometimes lose a day in asking advice of their 

 neighbors — sometimes a day in picking up the 

 news, the prices current and the exchanges — but 

 these men never have "any time to read." They 

 have time to hunt, to fish, to fiddle, to drink to " do 

 nothing," but " no time to read." Such men gen- 

 erally have uneducated children, unimproved farms 

 and unhappy firesides. They have no energy, no 

 spirit of improvement, no love of knowledge ; they 

 live "unknowing and unknown," and often die un- 

 wept and unregretted. — Southern Cult. 



Grammatical. — " How many genders are there ?" 

 asked a schoolmaster. 



" Three, sir," promptly replied little blue eyes. 



" What are they called ?" 



" Masculine, feminine and neuter." 



" Give me an example of each," said the master. 



" Why you are masculine, because you are a 

 man ; and I am feminine, because I'm a girl." 



" Very well — proceed." 



" I don't know," said the little girl, •' hut 1 reckon 

 Mr Jackson is ntiiier, as he's an old bachelor !" 



An honorable example. — The following we find in 

 the Maysville Eagle. It is related of Mr Crad- 

 dock, a member of the Kentucky Senate: 



"Sir, said Mr C, what I have said here today 

 has been said in a rough way, and if it has wound- 

 ed any senator, I hope he will attribute it to no un- 

 kind feelings, but to my want of the polish of edu- 

 cation. Sir, your Superintendent of Common 

 Schools has said, that there are many men of fami- 

 lies in this Commonwealth who can neither read 

 nor write, and it is but too true ; my own marriage 

 bo:id has my mark to it, and my son, who now sits 

 in the other House, was a stout boy when I learned 

 to wri e." 



r.Ir C. is now not only a respectable senator, but 

 a good lawyer. What more need be said in his 

 praise. 



An accusing conscience is a bad bed-fellow. 



Curious Facts. — Mice will !ive entirely without 

 water ; for though, says Dr. Priestley, I have kept 

 them for three or four months, and have oft'ered 

 them water several times, they would never taste 

 it; and yet they continued in perfect health. 



The Angora cat has one eye blue and the other 

 yellow. 



M. Hanhert saw a regular battle between two 

 species of ants, in which they drew up in lines of 

 battle, with reserves, &c. &c., and fought for four 

 hours, taking prisoners, and removing the wounded 

 till victory decided for one party. 



'I'he dam of the northern foxes will follow those 

 who kill her young for fiO or 70 miles, and howl 

 round them by night and day, till she has in some 

 way avenged herself. 



Instructive. — The following sentence, from the 

 Philadelphia North American, though short, is held 

 by the Boston Courier to contain materia! enough 

 from which to manufacture a volume: "The road 

 on which ambition travels has this advantage — the 

 higher it ascends the more difficult it becomes, till 

 at last it terminates on some elevation too narrow 

 for friendship, too steep for safety, too sharp for 

 repose ; and where the occupant, ahove the sympa- 

 thy of men, and below the friendship of angels, re- 

 sembles 111 the solitude, if not in the depth of hia 

 suffering, a Prometheus chained to the Caucassian 

 rock." 



I always listened with pleasure to the remarks 

 made hy country people on the habits of animals. 

 A countryman was shown Gainsborough's celebra- 

 ted picture of the pigs. "To be sure," said he, 

 "they be deadly like pigs, but there is one fault; 

 nobody ever saw three pigs feeding together, but 

 that one on 'iim had a foot in the trough." — Jesse's 

 Gleaninss. 



Jin acre of land contains — 

 4 roods, each rood 40 rods, poles or perches. 

 IGO rods, IG 1-2 feet each. 

 4,840 square yards, !.! feet each. 

 4.i,560 square feet, 144 inches. 

 174,'->40 squares of 6 inches each, 36 inches. 

 (1,^72,640 inches or squares of one inch each. 



"I was terribly put out about it," as the follow 

 said who was kicked down stairs for making a ro v. 



NEW FLOWER SEEDS. 



The subscril^eis have received from London a cfioice col- 

 lection of Flower SeeJs, which, with tho'se raised Ijythem- 

 selves, couslitule all worthy of cullivalion. Price from 6 1-4 

 lo 25 cents per paper. Assortineiu of those marked C 1-4 

 cents, 20 papers for one dollar, and others in the same pro- 

 portion, .lOS. BRECIC&CO. 



Feb. 10. 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



A WEEKLY PAPER. 



The Editorinl department of this paper having come 

 nto the hands of the subscriber, he is now authorized 

 by the publishers to inform the public that the price of 

 the paper is reduced In future the terms will hr $2 

 per year in advance, "r *i2 50 if not paid within thirty 



"■'"*■ ALLEN PUTNAM. 



N. 15. — Postmastiirs are required by law to frank all 

 subscriptions and remittances for newspapers, without 

 expense to subscr;bers. 



Mr Geo. Tappan is our agent at New Bedford, Mass 



