256 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER 



FEB. 1*. 1838» 



^3S<BilS>!E>^'iif"J^a 



The following exquisitely grapliical <lcscriptioti 

 of a scene at nii inn, with soniethiiig like whirh 

 the experience of few oonsideraUle travpllers can 

 hardly he otherwise than familiar, is from a Tract 

 by Lucius M. Sargent, entitled the Sta^e Coach, 

 desi-fned to promote the cause of Temperance. — 

 Mr Sargent holds a pen that adorns every thing 

 which he touches ; and it is to his high honor, 

 that his fine talents are devoted with extraotdinv.ry 

 and most encouraging success to the hest of cau- 

 ses the abolition of one of the most degrading and 

 afflictive of human vices, the bitterest scourge of 

 society, Intemperance. We shall be happy if the 

 taste, which we give thorn, should induce them to 

 get the book and make a full meal. It will bring 

 conviction to the conscience ; and it will waken 

 compassion in the soul. 



SCENE AT AN INN. 



"Having tried the strength of my lungs and the 

 patience of an indulgent assembly, for more than 

 an hour, and having engaged my passage in the 

 coach, which starts at tliree o'clock in the morn- 

 ing, for the village of , I returned 



to my inn, and, requesting the bar-keeper to have 

 me called in season, was shown to my a|,artnient. 

 1 perceived, with some surprise and regret, that 

 there were three single beds in the chamber, and 

 one barely large enaugh to accommodate two per- 

 sons of moderate siature, who were sufficiently 

 disciplined to be content with their respective al- 

 lotments. The single beds were oicupied. Upon 

 our entry, — "Ton my voord," exclaimed one of 

 the sleepers, jumping out of bed, "it isb de stage 

 come for me ; vat ish de time, sare ?" "No, no," 

 said the bar-keeper; " it's not eleven yet; your 

 stage will not he along for several hours." "Kare, 

 I tank you for your politeness; a leetil more sleep 

 I vill 'ave ;" and he stepped back into his bed, 

 with a bow, vvhich, however grateful it might 

 have been, in the costume of the drawing-room, 

 appeared supereminently ridiculous in his robe de 

 nuit. "Heigh-ho!" said another, as he turned 

 over, somewhat impatiently, in his bed. " Ton 

 have no objection, I suppose, sir," said the bar- 

 keeper, addressing me, "to sleeping with another 

 gentleman." " 1 have, sir," .said I4 "and you know 

 well enough, that you have no right to suppose 

 any such thing ; for I engage.l a single be<l, and 

 you promised me that I sho\ild have it." " Why, 

 yes, sir," he replied ; "but it's Court week, and 

 we are very full to-night. 'Vo-morrow night, sir, 

 we can give you a single bed, and a room to your- 

 self." "My friend," said I, "I cannot conve- 

 niently wait till to-moirow night, before I go to 

 bed, for I am very weary. I shall pay your bill, 

 when you call me in the morning, and, according 

 to your eiigngement, you must per.fiit me to sleep 

 alone." " Very well, sir," said the bar-keeper, 

 shutting the door, as he retired, with luineccssary 

 violence. " Yuu sarve 'iin right, sare," cried the 

 jFrenchman, for such his diahrcl ]H-ocl(iiuicd him 

 to be ; '' vat he ])romi.sh you, dat he must parform ; 

 dal ish de law of France, so it ish in England, 

 nnd de Low Countries, and indeed, sare, wherever 

 J has been. I vill be your vitness, sare, wi/. great 



pleasure, of all vat he say. !f I vas not in bed, 

 sare, I would have de satisfaction to hand you my 

 card, but de morning vill do." " Yes, yes," said 

 I, desirous of getting rid of this troublesome tellow, 

 "the morning will do." ! was soon uiidrcs.sed, 

 and ill bed. 1 turned upon my side, in the very 

 centre of it. For the purpose of satisfying any 

 new-comer, that, in the language of certain pla- 

 cards on the doors of manufactories, there was no 

 admiltance, except on business, 1 disposed my limbs, 

 as nearly as possible, in the form of the very last 

 letter in the alphabet. I was striving to sleep, 

 when I was asjain aroused by my unknovv^ friend : 

 — " IMonsieur'l— mistare,— 1 regret I cannot call 

 your name, sare, — you vill excuse de omission." 

 " What do you want ?" said I, with some impa- 

 lience. "Vat Ivant?" said he, " noting, sare, 

 only about de card ; I go off so long afore de day, 

 dat 1 vas fear I should not be able to hand you 

 my card, wizout disturbing your rapose." "I care 

 nothing about the card," said I ; " 1 wish to sleCp, 

 if possible." " So do I," cried the person who 

 had shown some impatience upon our first entry, 

 " and ril be much obliged to you, niistir, if you'll 

 stop your outlandish powwow till ilaylight." — 

 "Vary veil, sare," cried the Frenchman 4 and, after 

 humming the fraction of a tune, for a lew seconds, 

 to conceal his irritation, he remained perfectly si- 

 lent. 



During this period, the occujiant of the other 

 single bed, an experienced traveller, no doubt, 

 gave intelligible evidence of his profound slumber, 

 by snoring energetically. I was totally unaccus- 

 toined to this nocturnal annoyance, and found it 

 impossible to sleep. I had not remained long, ru- 

 minating upon my ill fortune, when the |)erson 

 who had silenced the Frenchman, struck in with 

 his nasal bass'jcn in such an extraordinary manner, 

 that, at first, I really supposed it to be the per- 

 formance of a waking wag, who, finding sleep im- 

 practicable, had resolved, for his amusement, to 

 make night as hideous as possible. Its long con- 

 tinuance, however, satisfied nie that it was no 

 joke, but an awful reality. Now and then, it was 

 even alarmingly stertorous and apoplectic. The in- 

 spiration of one of these trumpeters was so pre- 

 cisely coincident with the expiration of the other, 

 that the sound became perfectly continuous. We 

 are, some of us, so constituted, that, when our 

 troubles are not of an aggravated nature, misery 

 will occasionally be converted into inirlh. Vexed 

 and disap|)ointed as I was, I found myself exceed- 

 ingly disposed to laugh outright. At length, the 

 loudest snorer suddenly suspended his operations, 

 and the Frenchman, «ho, I had supposed, was 

 fast asleep, exclaimed " 'i'aiik Haven, von of dem 

 ish dead." This stroke of humor was perfectly 

 irresistible, and the loud laughter, which it drew 

 from me, awakened the whole group. " What 

 d'ye make such a noise for ?" cried the stertorous 

 gentleman; "can't you let a boily sleep in peace?" 

 " Veil, veil, sare," cried the Frendwnan, as he 

 turned over, " now, mayjie, ve vill tak a fair start 

 voncB more." 



The vis inerti(T. within me, which, for the pres- 

 ent occasion, at least, may he translated the energy 

 of drowsiness, enabled me to lock last my senses, 

 before the serenade recoimiicnced. 'J'he powere 

 of slumber seemed determined to make up, in pro- 

 roundness, all which they hud lost in time. 'J'he 

 qu.ility of sleep is olten of more importance than 

 the (piantity. From such deep, deathlike; slumber, 

 it id exceedingly painful to he suddenly aroused. 



The sensation was eminently disagreeable, there 

 fore, when I was awakened by a violent shake o 

 the shoulder. I sni)posed 1 had overslept myself 

 and asked if the stage was ready. " I've beel 

 trying to wake you. mister, for ten minutes," wa 

 the reply ; " and I'm most froze, standing in th 

 cold. Won't you jest move to your side of th 

 bed." 1 now began to comprehend the case, an 

 rubbing my eyes, beheld an uncommonly corpi 

 lent man, who had undressed himself for the nigh 

 He had one foot on the frame of the bed, an 

 held the candle in his hand, which he was ju 

 ready to extinguish. — "Sir," said I, " yon ha^ 

 been imposed on. I have engaged ibis bed ft 

 myself, and shall not consent to your getting in 



it." '' This is pretty lough," said he ; " I 'm fro 



to death, a'most." — "You had better call the inn- 

 keeper, and get him to accommodate you clue. 

 where," said L — "1 'm fear'd he's gone to bed; 

 and all shot up," said the poor fellow; "how- 

 somesever, I'll try." — He did try, and he cen 

 tainly succeeded. He rushed into the centre at 

 the entry, in his undress, and holloaed at the to|( 

 of his lungs: — "Holloa! Mr StufFem, holloa! 

 This ere man won't let me get into bed, hollos-j 



holloa!" The disturbance which followed, so fai 



as 1 could judge, was rather extensive. I hear() 

 voices in all parts of the house ; doors were 

 opened in all directions. "Is it fire?" inquired 

 a female voice. — "What's to pay there .'" diet 

 the host. — " Stage come, — hey ?" cried severa 

 persons at once. At length, the bar-keeper ap 

 peared, explained the cause of the disturbance 

 and led oft' his shivering customer to anoihe 

 apartment. < 



We had scarcely recovered from this annoy 

 ance, before the chamber door was opened by till 

 porter with a light: — "Eastern niail 's comiiig,-^ 

 hear the horn 011 the hill now, — French geuil* 

 man's baggage ready .'" — " Dat ish myself," criei 

 the Frenchmiui, leaping out of bed. — " WbereJ 

 your baggage, sir?" — "Baggage? — vat you mea" 



de bigtronk? — no, sare, me no have 'em. 



vill bring down my baggage wiz myself, sare.' 

 You '11 li"ave to make haste, — the mail only sto 

 three minutes to shift horses." — " Tree miimit ' 

 no more ? — 'pon my voord !" — The little Freiic 

 man made all possible expedition. In a slioi 

 time, the porter's voice was again heard at 1 



floor: "All ready — mail can't wait." — "Iiiimei 



diately, saie," cried the Frenchman ; " wlieW 

 whew, whew, — come, Gahrielle." Upon this sig 

 nal, a lapdog sprang out of the bed, and shook il| 

 shaggy locks and tinkling bell. The FrenehinSl 

 seized a little bundle, which probably coniainel 

 the bulk of his earthly iiossessions, real. peifona| 

 and mixed, placed upon his left arm a leath« 

 fiddle-case, and the favorite Gabrielle, and, asl( 

 hurrieJ from the room, stopped for an instant i 

 my bedside, to say, "Sare, dis ish my card, vii 

 I have de honor to present ; adieu, monsieul 

 Down ran the little Frenchman, and in a mom« 

 I heard the coach door close, the crack of I 

 whip, and the rumbling of the wheels, as the v 



'.■..|', . o 



hide rolled away over the rough, frozen gi 



THE NEW ENGLAND PAltJIKR 



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i 



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