32 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER 



AT.'G. 7, 1S33. 



MISCELLANY. 



For the New England Farmer. 

 THE STORM. 

 A i linNnMisHuwEK about this time 

 t ixlouhtedly is coming. 

 i: should an almanack say when 

 Twcre all a knack at humming. 



Bui if the weather 's very warm. 



And vou have wiieat and rye down, 

 Don't alter sun-rise lie in bed, 



Nor after dinner lie down. 



For, low down in the murky west, 

 A sullen congregation 



( 'i vapors lower, in horror drcst, 

 And menace desolation ! 



A storm anon comes howling on, 



[ts retinue a posse 

 Of clouds convolving over clouds 



Like Pelion heap'd on Ossa. 



Now the whole mass comes rushing down 



By ten-fold thunders reuded, 

 As if the heavens in ruin hurl'd 



Had on the earth descended ! 



JONATHAN'S VISIT TO A PRINTING-OFFICE. 



DiD you ever go up to the Printers, 



And see all them devils to work ? 

 I cossnotchel it beats all to tlinters 



Mother's fuss when we kill all our pork. 



Them fellers they stand right up straight, 



And pick little pieces of lead; 

 Stuck in little cubby holes thicker, I'll bate, 



Than seeds in our big parsnip bed. 



Then they keep such a ducking and bobbing, 

 I'll be darn'd ! like aunt Peggy's old drake 



When he's gobbling up corn, or a robin 

 That stands in one leg on a stake. 



How plague can they find all the letters, 



Is more than my gumption can tell ; 

 They call them are workmen type setters, 



Anil an old shoo, they said that was hell.* 



Then they've got too a cast iron press, 

 It beats father's for cider and cheese ; 



'Tis tarnation hard work I should guess, 

 And it gives a confounded tight squeeze. 



There's a thumping great roller I swow 



They keep pushing — the Lord knows for what ; 



And the paper 'twould cover our mow, 



Such a whapping great sheet have they got. 



How they fill it all up is the wonder, 

 Where the darn do they find so much news, 



As thick as pea blossoms in summer — 

 What a nation of ink they do use ! 



By gall ! I don't sec how they pay 



For so many heaps of white paper, 

 They lell'd me they used every day ; 



Good Lord— it would ruin Squiro Tabar. 



I'd no notion, I vum, 'twas such tarnel 

 Hard work to print papers and books ; 



I'll go right down and scribe for the Jarnel 

 And go home and tell all the folks. 



Abuse not always an Injur;/. A well regulated 

 fhind docs not regard the abusive language of a 

 worthless reviler (in the light of an inault,) and 

 deems it beneath notice ; mentally reciting the 

 couplet, 



• A moral, sensible, and well-bred man 

 Will not abuse me, and no other can." 



* The old shoe kept as a receptacle for broken types. The 

 devil, no doubt, imposed upon the simplicity of Jonathan. 



A CHAPTER ON HATS. 



" Your bonnet to its right use, 'tis for the head." 



There is no people so ingenious at expedients 

 as the Yankees. It would never enter the heads 

 of persons out of New-England to use their hats 

 for any other purpose than as a covering for their 

 heads. In other parts of the globe when a man 

 bows graciously to a friend he takes off his Intl. 

 Such a custom cannot be adopted here — for a 

 man's hat is his pocket book, his satchel I, his pan- 

 try, his clothes bag, his tool chest, or his sugar- 

 box, as occasion may retptire ; and if he should 

 take off his hat in a hurry, awkward consequences 

 must needs ensue. We once knew a young gen- 

 tleman having purchased a dozen of eggs for his 

 mother, forthwith popped them into his hat. On 

 his way home, he met a pretty girl, with whose 

 charms he had long been smitten, and wishing to 

 be particularly polite, he took off his hat, -prepara- 

 tory to making a low bow. The twelve eggs obey- 

 ing the laws of gravitation, of course were precipi- 

 tated to the pavement and instantly smashed to 

 atoms, and the beautiful white garment of the as- 

 tonished girl, was bespattered with the filthy yolks! 

 She never forgave him. 



How often during a windy day do we see a 

 hatless wight chasing a cloud of papers, which 

 have made their escape, and are borne away on 

 the wings of the wind. A clergyman lately, who 

 had been recently settled in a flourishing village, 

 was wont to cross a small stream on a bridge, 

 which lay between his domicil and the Meeting 

 House. One memorable day, as he was crossing 

 the bridge when rude Boreas was raging, his hat 

 was blown from his head, and quietly deposited in 

 the stream — but his written discourse being some-' 

 what lighter than the hat in which it was of course 

 deposited, was carried somewhat further and was 

 never heard of more. 



It has been remarked by foreigners that the na- 

 tives of New England are generally round shoul- 

 dered. This is undoubtedly owing to the euor- 

 mous weight which they carry on their heads ! 

 A lawyer is seldom seen with a green bag in his 

 hand — his legal documents, and sometimes his 

 law books are deposited in his hat ; a physician's 

 hat is not unfrequently an apothecary shop in min- 

 iature ; a merchant's hat is crammed with mer- 

 chandize ; and a stage-driver's hat is stuffed with 

 bundles and packages. A person about to take a 

 short journey seldom burthens himself with a 

 trunk, hut takes a change of apparel in his hat. A 

 late member of the Massachusetts Legislature, who 

 represented a town not more than twenty miles 

 from Boston, always carried his dinner to the 

 State House in his hat; and we have seldom seen 

 the hat of an editor which was not stuffed with 

 damp newspapers, stolen paragraphs and unan- 

 swered duns ! Hence editors are always round 

 shouldered. 



The change which has lately been effected in 

 the shape of the hat, has been loudly complained 

 of, as its reduced dimensions puts the wearers to 

 much inconvenience. A hat of the most approved 

 modern style, will contain little else than a pocket 

 handkerchief, a pair of gloves, and a few cigars. 

 But we hope this change in fashion will produce 

 a corresponding change in the perpendicularity of 

 certain individuals; and that those persons who 

 hang down their heads while wearing a bell- 

 crowned hat will soon strut about as stiff and up- 

 right as a platoon of well-drilled soldiers 



An old maiden lady named Witman, in the 80th 

 year of her age, mowed and made an acre of hea- 

 vy grass into hay, in Mountjoy, Petin. a week or 

 two since. 



WHOLESALE AND RETAIL CASH STORE. 



ELIAP. STONE BREWER, No. 11 1. Washington Street, 

 ( St mi h end) has received a general assortment of Spring.and 

 Summer Goods, among which are 100 cases English, French and 

 American Prints of all prices and qualities — 20 cases Pelticoat 

 Unl.r- — 1 case Cambric Muslins, some of which are very fine — 1 

 Base I lotion Cambrics do. do. — 1 case White Lilesia tor lining 

 ladies dresses — 1 ease Book Binders' Cambrick for do. do. — o 

 cases do. — 100 cases bleached and brown Sheeting and Shirting, 

 some extra fine — 1 case Marseilles Quilts, from to 10 quark i- 

 — 5 cases London Rose Blankets, some of a very superior qual- 

 ity and large size — 1 case Hearth Rugs — t rases Chapp's spool 

 G cord cotton, warranted — 200 yards superior quality— 5 cases 

 Clark's do. at very low prices fey doz. or case— '2000 fancy 

 boxes — a large variety of colored and black French Silks at 

 very reduced prices — 2 cases col'd Baitiste — 1 case black and 

 colore. 1 Barage — 4 cases French and London printed Muslins 

 of new patterns and beautiful colors — 2 cases three corded su- 

 perfine Italianettes, black and fashionable colors — 1 case com- 

 mon do — lease Plaid Palmgrim's super quality — 1 case Pou 

 ilr Soi a genteel article for ladies' summer dresses, 9d per yd 

 — 20 ps super mix'd, drab, and olive Merino Cassinetts for 

 children's summer dresses — 20 ps Rouen Cassimere with a large 

 variety of superfine and fine Broadcloths and Cassimeres — 

 20 bales Pelisse Wadding — 3 cases superior Ticking. — 4 cases 

 cheapdo— -10 cases improved soft finished 4-4 Irish Linen, man- 

 ufactured for the Loudon market and imported expressly for 

 the subscriber. 



The above goods are offered for cash only af prices so ex- 

 tremely low as will make it an object for purchasers either by 

 piece or yard to call and see. May 29 



FARMER'S OWN BOOK. 



For sale at the New England Farmer office Ihe Farmer's 

 Own Book or Family Receipts. Being a compilation of the 

 very best receipts on agriculture, gardening and cookery, with, 

 rules for keeping farmers' accounts, &c. Price 50 cents. 



AI«o, the FRUGAL HOUSEWIFE, by Mrs. Child, dedi- 

 cated to those who are not ashamed of economy, — a work 

 which should be in every family. Price 50 cents. 



FOR SALE, 



THAT (valuable FARM, late the residence of Mrs. Ruth 

 Mackay, in Weston. It contains 110 acres of as good, and 

 a< well watered land, as there is within 100 miles of Boston. 

 On 40 acres there is a thrifty wood lot of white oak and walnut, 

 a fine young Apple Orchard which gained Ihe premium of the 

 Massachusetts Agricultural Society, a Peach Orchard, for 

 winch the Horticultural Society granted a premium on peaches, 

 with all the new varieties*)!" Pears and Cherries, Quinces, and 

 other choice fruits, the farm is in a high state of cultivation, 

 and enclosed wilh strong stone walls. There is a good house 

 with 4 rooms on the floor, 2 kitchens. Barn, granary, .chaise 

 and wood house, cider mill. It is 14 miles from Boston on the 

 great post road to New York, 1 -41 h of a mile from the road. 

 The place has many advantages, both for ihe Farmer and the 

 gentleman. It can be seen at anv time bv calliug there, or on 

 application to JOHN MACKAY, at 41li'Washiiigton-sir. 



july 3 ew3w&eow9w 



THE NEW ENGLAND PARMER 



Is published every Wednesday Evening, ai $3 per annrnn, 

 payable at the end of the year — but those who pay within 

 sixty days from the time of subscribing, are entitled to a deduc- 

 tion of fifty cents. 



(Hf No paper will be sent to a distance without payment 

 being made in advance. 



AGENTS. 



New York — G. Thorburn & Sons, 67 Liberty-street. 

 Albany — W.m. Thorbuiin, 347 Market-street. 

 Philadelphia — D. & C. Landrkth. .':.') Chesnut-street. 

 Baltimore — I. I. Hitchcock, Publisher of American Farmer. 

 Cincinnati — S. C. Parkhurst, 23 Lower Market-street. 

 Flushing, N. Y. — Wm. Prince ii Sons. Prop. Lin.Bol. Gas. 

 Mol.il, hunt. 17. — Wight Chapman, Merchant. 

 Hartford — Goodwin & Co. Booksellers. 

 Springfield. Ms.' — E. Edwards, Merchant. 

 Newburyport — Ebenezer Stedman, Bookseller. 

 Portsmouth, N. Jf. — J. W. Foster, Bookseller. 

 Portland, Mr. — Oilman, Hodden & Co. Booksellers. 

 Augusta, Me. — Wm. Mann, Druggist. 



Halifax, N. S. — P. J. Holland, "Esq. Editor of Recorder. 

 Montreal, L. V. — Geo. Bent. 

 St. Louis — Geo. Holton. 



Printed for Geo. C. Bahrett by Ford & Damrelx, 

 whoexecute every description of Booh and Fancy Print- 

 ing in good style, and with promptness. Orders for print- 

 ing may be left with Geo. C. Barrett, at the Agricui 

 tural Warehouse, No. 52, North Market Street. 



