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NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



SEPTEMBER 35, 1S33. 



MISCELLANY. 



The following Festive Effusion was wrilten and sung by H. 

 J. Finn, Esq. at the Horticultural Exhibition. 



LOVES OF BETSEY BUCKWHEAT AND SI- 

 MON SPARROWGRASS. 



When Dr. Darwin ruled the taste of folks with rod despotic, 

 He sung the loves of all the plants, both native and exotic ; 

 I mean to say he thought he did. but he forgot, alas! 

 The loves of Betsey Buckwheat, and one Simon Sparrowgrass. 



A culinary maid was she, and he a man herbaceous. 

 ",Oh! lauk a daisy" he exclaimed, and she " my goody gra- 

 cious." 

 He took his bread and cheese with her, also a little shrub, 

 And after killing Caterpillars, swallowed down his Grub. 



This Simon he was very thin, though thick with Bet, by gosh, 

 For he was like a Parsnip long, and she a Summer Squash ; 

 He called her his sweet sugar Pea — dwarf marrowfat I ween— 

 For love had in his head and heart — his poll and kidney-been. 



His jacket sowed in patches, wasn't worth a single shilling. 



His pantaloons were full of holes — of course were made ol drill- 

 ing ; 



She thought he looked like scurvy grass, and it was most dis- 

 tressing, 



Said she " you know 1 think a Goose, is nothing without dress- 

 ing." 



His love was deeply rooted — so he thought he'd stir liis stumps, 

 And as his mouth did water, why, he bought a pair of pumps: 

 A reddish coat he got cut out, with turn-up collar juttings, 

 And so love apjiles he did moan to propagate by cuttings. 



Her peepers were Black Hamburghs, and she sharpened all his 

 sighs ; 



When Cupid plants his round and grape, they're shoois from 



female eyes. 

 While Simon was a raking, little Cupid often laughed. 

 To think how Betty Buckwheat soon, would rake him fore and 



aft. 



He vowed to pop the question, and one Sunday night they met, 

 Anil there they shared the loaves and fish — a kitchen cabinet. 

 He thought he'd like a stock of Simons, from a little tallow tree, 

 And raise some little suckers, from a little nursery. 



"Oh ! Betty Buckwheat," then said he, "if you and I don't wed ; 

 "I shall return from whence I came — that's to a parsley bed; 

 "Them 'ere horse pistols what you see, shall visit these 'ere 



lugs :" 

 Then slow as any snail he went, to choose a brace of slugs. 



" Oh Sparrowgrass ! O Sparrowgrass ! ! O Sparrowgrass ! ! !" 



said she, 

 " I can't resist — I'm all your own — it's my/i^-ality." 

 But Simon thought, the fingers of her fist were so immense, 

 'Twould take ten dollars to enclose one, in a go\&-ring fence. 



As calms succeed a storm sometimes, so storms succeed a calm; 

 And weeks of wormwood, followed Simon's honey-moon of 



balm ; 

 For brandy blossoms, soon were seen, upon her bottle-nose ; 

 And bidbs they budded on his head, for there she planted blows. 



The forcing system she pursued, was, from the house to scold 



him , 

 It proved a /io( house, for she made his house too hot to hold 



him. 

 For Betsey planted lots of Box around his cranium's ledge, 

 And though he did dislike the Bet, it was too late to hedge. 



His Waspish Bee he then found out, was but a mere humbug, 



For daily to her jugular, she joined another jug. 



Her hands would gather in his crop — for she would tear his 



hair ; 

 And the nature of the Crab, was grafted, on this kitchen pair. 



To make an end of Sparrowgrass, she swore, from the begin- 

 ning ; 



, She starved him, though his long lean limbs, did never need 



much thinning; 

 Oae day she knocked him down, and ran, in spite of all his 



prayer; 

 She was an Offset out of doors— he on the ground a layer. 



So he fell sick, to think no junior Sparrowgrass should be; 

 A little heir he thought to feel — a jSon-flower to see. 

 The Faculty could not restore his faculties to try 'em ; 

 It is not strange that soon he died — he physic look per diem. 



His plaguy Toad in our Frog pond, then drowned herself one 



night ; 

 But as all liquors from the Common, now are banished quite — 

 Fach 'lection day her ghost appears, and laughs to think — od 



rot her — 

 That she's the only Spirit there, allowed to mix with Water. 



MEDICINES. 



Why is it that men are so ready to leave the 

 plain paths of science and philosophy, and wander 

 in the mazes of mystery and uncertainty in a mat- 

 ter so important, as health ? The difficulty lies in 

 a vain attempt to search out something by which 

 they can obviate the evils arising from the improp- 

 er gratification of their appetites and passions, — 

 and there is a goodly number of the latter class 

 who never stagger, — after having been in the in- 

 dulgence of a depraved appetite for five, ten, twen- 

 ty, and perhaps forty years, by which the digestive 

 organs are deranged, and the constitution impair- 

 ed, expect that a box of Hygcan Pills, or some 

 other medicine taken oft" band, will build up, in a 

 few days, what they have for years been pulling 

 down, and thus refit them for the renewed acts of 

 drunkenness and surfeiting. Here lies the mis- 

 take ;- — for what can be done for that man whose 

 own acts of intemperance in eating and drinking 

 have destroyed and worn out his powers of life, 

 which, when medical art and knowledge has left 

 them free to act, refuse to do their office? Will 

 any of the popular medicines, or Ilygeau Pills do 

 this? No. Then it is there is no redemption, 

 and death closes the scene. Let not then, that 

 man who rises early to visit the dram shop, or he 

 who more modestly waits till eleven o'clock before 

 he begins to stimulate his system with ardent spir- 

 it or wine ; neither let that man — however tempe- 

 rate he may be in relation to ardent spirit — who 

 can compromise with his vitiated appetite with 

 nothing less than hot bread and butter, beef steak 

 with its usual condiments, pickles, &c. for his din- 

 ner; all kinds of what is generally denominated 

 good cake and pie for his supper; with nuts, al- 

 monds, figs, raisins and apples during the even- 

 ing,— and this last dose he is almost sure to get 

 into him with the rest if he goes into Bl fashionable 

 party ; — neither let that female who takes her full 

 portion of such good things in connexion with of- 

 ten and repeated draughts of those weakening and 

 diluting liquors, tea anil coffee, and whose only 

 exercise is running up and down stairs a few times 

 a day, with a little drumming upon the piano-forte, 

 while the lungs have not more than three-fourths 

 of their natural room for the purpose of respira- 

 tion, when restless nights come on, and disturbed 

 sleep, palpitation of the heart, with all that long 

 train of female complaints which are connected 

 with a debilitated state of the body. In a word, 

 let no one who commits any acts of excess or in- 

 temperance think, that for all ill health arising 

 from such causes, Ilygean Pills will prove an im- 

 mediate and sovereign remedy. The cause is in- 

 temperance, the cure must be .in temperance ! — 

 By the former they lost their health, by the latter 

 they must regain it, if they have not gone too far, 

 and are doomed to suffer the consequences of 

 their own folly and wickedness. — .Yewburyport 

 Herald. 



FRUIT TREES. 



Ornamental TREES, ROSES, FLOWEU- 

 INti PLANTS, &.c. Nursery of WILLIAM 

 KENRICK in Newton, 5.1 miles from Boston, 

 by the City Mills. 

 This Nursery now comprises a rare and extraordinary collec- 

 tion ot fruit trees, Trees and Shrubs ot Ornament', Roses, 6cr. 

 and covers the most of 18 acres. Qf new celebrvAed I *ears alon* , 

 150 kinds, a part of which, having already been proved in our 

 climate, are specially recommended. — Ot Apples £00 kind*. — 

 Peaches 115 kinds — Cherries, bb kinds — Plums, Ncrtarino. 

 Almonds, Apricots, Quinces, Grape Vines, Currants, Raspber* 

 ries, (loosebcrries, Strawberries, Figs, &c. &.c — selections 

 from the best varieties known — a collection in unequal propor- 

 tions of 800 varieties of fruit. 



White mulberries for silk worms — the fruit poor. Also tho 

 Morus Mui.ticaclis nr New Chinese Mulberry , a beauti- 

 ful fruit tree, so superior Nir silk worms to all others. 



( If ROSES. A superb collection of from 300 to 400 hardy 

 and China varieties ; selections from numerous importations, 

 and first rate sources. Horse Chesnuts as hardy as oaks — 

 Weeping Willows, Catalpas, Mountain Ash. Silver Firs, Yo- 

 netian Sumach, Altheas, Honeysuckles, Azaleas, &c. &c. — 

 in all, of Ornamental trees, and shrubs, 650 varieties. Of 

 Herbaceous flowering plants, a choice selection of 2110 varieties, 

 including the Pa'onies, Mot/tan and Papaveracea — and 24 other 

 kinds — and 83 splendid varieties of double Dahlias. 



Gentlemen are invited to forward their orders early — early is 

 Autumn being an excellent season for transplanting. Address to 

 WILLIAM KENRICK, Newton. Trees, &c. delivered in 

 Boston free of charge for transportation, and suitably packed, 

 and from thence when ordered duly forwarded, by land or sea.. 

 Or orders will receive the same attention if left with Geo. C 

 Barrett, who is agent, at his seed store and New England 

 Farmer Office, Nos. 51 & 52, North Market Street, Boston. 

 Catalogues gratis on application. Jy 17 



IMPROVED DURHAM SHORT HORNED 

 CATTLE. 



FOR sale, one three year old bull of a brown color, 2 year- 

 ling bulls both red, 3 bull calves 1 red, 1 red and white, and 1 

 wholly white, also 3 two year old heifers, 2 roan and 1 brown 

 and white, 3 yearling heifers, 1 royn, 1 red and while, and one 

 flecked. The dams of the above have given more than 20 

 qurrts of milk a day on grass only. 



Also, 2 bull calves, one bright-red, and one red and white. 



They are all descended from the famous imported Bulls, 

 Bolivar and Ccelebs, and from cows of imported stocks. 



For milkers, working oxen or Beef, this stock is considered 

 2d to none in New England. Inquire of Mr. Geo. C. Barrett, 

 Office of the N. E. Farmer. oplf 



BROOKS' . PATENT SILK SPINNER. 



THE public attention is invited to this machine. It is adapt- 

 ed to domestic use, is simple in its construction, occupies a 

 small space, and may be used to advantage by women and 

 children. This machine may be obtained by applying to T. 

 It. NEWELL, at the Agricultural Warehouse, No. 52 North 

 Market street, Boston; omo the Patentee, ADAM BROOKS. 



Scituate; July 22, 1S33. 



TO SUBSCRIBERS. 



Subscribers to the New England Farmer are informed that 

 they can have their volumes neatly half-bound and lettered, at 

 75 cents per volume, by leaving them at the Farmer Office. 



July 17 



THE NEW ENGLAND PARMER 



Is published every Wednesday Evening, at £,'3 per annum, 

 payable' at the end of the year — but those who pay within 

 sixty days from the lime ot subscribing, are entitled to a deduc- 

 tion of filly cents. 



O 5 No paper will be sent to a distance without payment 

 being made in advance. 



AGENTS. 



iVew York — G. Thorburn &. Sons, 67 Liberty-street. 

 AlbanV — Wm. Thorburn, 347 Market-street. 

 Philadelphia — D. & C. Landreth, 85 Chesnut-street. 

 Baltimore — I. I. Hitchcock, Publisher of American Farmer. 

 Cincinnati— H. C. Parkhurst, 23 Lower Market-street. 

 Flushing, A'. }". — Wm. Prince &, Sons, Prop. Lin. Bol. Gar. 

 iliddlebury. Vt. — Wight Chapman, Merchant. 

 Hartford — Goodwin & Co. Booksellers. 

 Springfield. Ms. — E. Edwards, Merchant. 

 Newburyport — Ebene/lk Stedman, Bookseller. 

 Portsmouth, -V. //. — ,L W. Foster, Bookseller. 

 Portland, ate. — Colman, Holden & Co. Booksellers. 

 Augusta, Me. — Wm. Mann, Druggist. 



Halifax, N. S. — P. J. Holland', Esq. Editor of Recorder. 

 Montreal. J.. 'C. — Geo. Bent. 

 St. Louis — Geo. Holton. 



Printed for Geo. C. Barrett by Ford & Damreh 

 who execute every description of Book and Fancy Print- 

 intrin good style, and with promptness. Orders for print- 

 ing may be left with Geo. C. Barrett, at the Agricul- 

 tural Warehouse, No. 52, North Market Street. 



