384 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER 



JUNE 4, 1834. 



MISCELLANY, 



[From Sir Samuel Moreland's Perpetual Almanac. Rea.lv 

 Reeknner, and Gardener, published in the reign ol Queen 

 Anne.] 



DIRECTIONS RELATING TO THE PURCHAS- 

 ING OF LAND. 

 First see the land whirh thou intend'st to buy, 

 Within the Seller'* Title elear to lie ; 

 And that no Woman to it duih lay claim 

 By Dowry, Jointure, or some other Name 

 Thatmayil cumber. Know ifbound or free 

 The Tenure stand, and, that from each Feoffee 

 It he released ; that the Seller be so eld. 

 That he may lawful sell, thou lawful hold : 

 Have special care that it not Mortgaged be, 

 Nor be inlayled on Posterity. 

 Then if it Stand in Statute bound or no, 

 Be well advised what Quit rent out must go, 

 What Custom service hath been done of old, 

 By those who formerly the same did hold ; 

 And if a wedded woman put to Sale, 

 Deal not with her, unless she bring her Male ; 

 Thy bargain being made, and all this done, 

 Have special enre to make thy Charter run 

 To thee, thy Heirs. Executors, Assigns, 

 For that beyond thy life securely binds, 

 These things foreknown and done, you may prevent 

 Those things Rash Buyers many limes repent, 

 And yet when you have done all that you can, 

 If you'll be sure, <U<tl with an honest man. 



LINES 



Written by the Rt. Hon. George Canning when a young 



man, and left by him on the table of a young lady on the morn- 

 ing of her marriage. She having a few days before presented 

 him with a piece of plush to make a pair of breeches. , 



When all on this au-ptcious day 



Well pleased, their grateful homage pay, 



And sweetly stag, or softly say, 



A thou.and civil speeches. 

 My muse shall spread her trembling wings, 

 Nor scorn the lay her duty brings, 

 Tho' humble be the theme she sings, 



A pair of shooting breeches. 



Soon shall the tailor's subtle art. 



Have made them neat, and strong, and smart, 



And fortified in every part 



With twenty thousand stitches. 

 Mark then the moral of my song : 

 O may your love but prove as strong, 

 And wear as well, and last as long 



As these, my shooting breeches. 

 And when to ease the load of life 

 Of private care, of public strife, 

 The gods to me shall grant a wife, 



1 ask no rank nor riches : 

 For sense like thine alone I pray — 

 Temper like thine serene and gay* 

 One formed like thee to give away, 



Not wear herself the breeches. 



gradually gather around them. This is 

 ninety-nine of a hundred find to be the deli; 

 matrimony. 



u bat 

 lit of 



MARRIAGE. 



' Look at the great mass of marriages which take 

 place over the whole world ; what poor contempt- 

 ible affairs they are! A few soft looks, a walk, a 

 dance, a squeeze of the hand, a popping of the 

 question, a purchasing of a certain number of 

 yards of white satin, a ring, a clergyman, a stage 

 or two in a hired carriage, a night in a country 

 inn, and the whole matter is over. For five or six 

 weeks two sheepish looking persons tire seen dang- 

 ling on each other's arm, looking at water falls, or 

 making morning calls, ami guzzling wine and 

 cakes; then every thing falls into the most monot- 

 onous routine. The wife sits on one side of the 

 hearth, the husband on the other, and little quar- 

 rels, little pleasures, little cares, and little children, 



IGNORANCE vs. KNOWLEDGE. 



Knowledge litis the wantoness of it child, and 

 the cruelty of an ogre. He builds up systems in 

 one age, only to overturn them in another ; he be- 

 gets theories ill one century, and not only expo- 

 ses them to perish, but is himself the unnatural 

 instrument of their destruction in the next. He 

 resembles Homer's infant on the sea-shore, raising 

 castles of sand with pains and perseverance, then 

 with ham's and fed demolishing its labors; or he 

 may he likened still better to Titan, devouring as 

 fast as they see the light the offspring of bis own 

 loins. Now turn we to Ignorance anil what do 

 we behold ? Not content with evincing the ten- 

 derness of a parent, by defending like a lion, his 

 own notions and opinions whenever they are at- 

 tacked, he rushes forward with disinterested cour- 

 age to the succor of systems and theories with 

 the procreation of which be bad nothing in tin- 

 world to tlo, the moment be sees them deserted by 

 their natural protectors, and in danger of being 

 annihilated by the ruffian Improvement, or that 

 shocking desperado Reform. This promptitude to 

 espouse the'weak, is extremely amiable in Igno- 

 rance. Let him but see a principle in any science, 

 astronomy, geology, anatomy, metaphysics or poli- 

 tics, no matter how philosophical its pedigree, in 

 danger of beino- roughly handled by what is called 

 the march of intelligence, or the extension ot ex- 

 perience ; in other words hustled by a knot of ill- 

 looking facts, like a foot passenger in Oxford street 

 by a gang of pickpockets, Ignorance at once cries, 

 " to the rescue I" — makes common cause with the 

 doctrine in distress — knocks down one fact with a 

 flat contradiction — floors another with a shout — 

 puts a third " hors du combat" wilb a horse laugh, 

 and by this chivalrous conduct not unfrequently 

 extricates its friend, ami gives some useful error, 

 or venerable prejudice a new lease of its.existenee. 

 But in' the catalogue of the vices of Knowledge, 

 although there be many blacker, there is none so 

 contemptible as bis curiosity. Ignorance it must 

 be allowed by his best friends, is in some few par- 

 ticulars rather more inquisitive than becomes bis 

 dignity ; be is .sometimes too anxious to discover 

 what bis next door neighbor is to have for dinner ; 

 or how many thousand pounds the old lady on the 

 other side of the street has got in the Three per 

 Cents; or what business the gentleman who lives 

 six houses higher tip, has with the fat man in a 

 green coat and pink cravat, who knocks at his door 

 every day, except Wednesdays, at five minutes past 

 two precisely; but what of this ? — It is only ID 

 downright trifles thai any body can justly tax igno- 

 rance with curiosity — when was he ever known 

 to meddle with the great secrets of the world .- 

 When for instance was be ever caught like the el- 



yonr men of science, take advantage of the over- 

 sight to tumble her dresses, read her family pa- 

 pers, and often purloin her trinkets for their cabi- 

 nets and museums. What are mineralogists but a 

 gang of theives, who have discovered the secret 

 springs of the chest, in which Nature keeps her 

 treasures ? What are phrenologists but pick locks, 

 who actually boast of having in their possession 

 a key to the whole mystery of the human mind ? 

 The mathematician you swear is about nothing 

 handsome, he is generally to be found in angles and 

 corners. The astronomer waylays nature by night ; 

 the botanist in wild and sequestered places — 

 " In wood or grove, by mossy fountain side, 

 In valley or green meadow j" 

 wherever, in fact she is likeliest to be found asleep 

 or undressed. Who then can doubt the purity of 

 the intentions with which he pursues bis crypto- 



gamins and syngenesias ? No question, Apollo's 

 pursuit of Daphne was nothing in the world but a 

 botanical excursion; — divinity only wanted to as- 

 certain the nymph's class and order. Then what 

 have the conchologists and entomologists to say for 

 themselves ? The elders in the apocryphal legend 

 Heaven knows were filthy old fellows enough; 

 but their obscenity was chastity compared to the 

 conduct of these men" of periwinkles and butter- 

 flies; they did not put on their spectacles — at 

 least it is not so written — to contemplate the bath- 

 ing beautyj they were content to stare at Susan- 

 nah's charms with the naked eye. Not so the 

 entomologists ; not even spectacles are enough for 

 them ; they must actually have microscopes or 

 they see nothing. — Metropolitan Masrazine. 



DAMAGED BISHOPS LAWN AND MUSLINS. 



EL1AB STONE BREWER, at No. 414- Washington 

 Snoot, "ill open for sale this day, 



1 Case wet (but not damaged) Bishops Lawn. 

 1 do. do. do. Peel. Muslin. 



Also 1 do. Superfine u— 1 Cambric Dimolies, "Inch will be 

 .,if red by the Piece at 23 per cent, less than cost ol iraporta- 

 .. ,. ni 14 



STRAW CARPETING. 



ELIAB STONE BREWER, No. 414 Washington street, 

 ha* received a lot of 10b pieces superior straw caYpeting white 

 and lancy checks, 6-4, 64, and 7-4 widths, which he will --ell 

 by the piece or yard at very low prices. Also, Canton Straw 

 table niatts. istf. 



a 1C. 



COMPLETE SET OP THE FARMER. 



One complete set of 11 Volumes of the New England Farmer 

 bound in excellent; "style. For sale at the Farmer Oflice. This 

 will he found to make a valuable Library for an Agriculturist. 



der Pliny, peeping into the crater of a volcano ? 

 Never; he leaves such low tricks to those Paul 

 Prys, \eleped philosophers. He would have re- 

 mained in the dark forever as to the laws of elec- 

 tricity, before he would have stooped to the mean 

 artifice of Dr. Franklin, who, on pretence of Hy- 

 ing a kite, insinuated himself into the confidenee 

 of a thunder cloud, made himself acquainted with 

 all its private affairs, and then (to crown bis base- 

 ness) published them to the whole world. Nature 

 never leaves her wardrobe, or a drawer of one id 

 her scrutoires unlocked, but these dirty fellows 



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