392 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Aug. 



What would my venerable instructress, Miss So- 

 phonisba Primvvood, have said to see one of her 

 pupils skating like a boy ? She would have faint- 

 ed on the spot ! 



Miss M. — Did she think that the boys ought 

 to have a monopoly of the healthful out-of-door 

 exercises ? 



3lrs. F. — She knew what belonged to a lady. 

 She never would let us walk out except in single 

 file, with a monitress at the head. Ah ! she had 

 studied the proprieties. I am indebted to her for 

 all my knowledge of deportment. The doctor of 

 the village called her a model schoolmistress. 

 She used to put more business into his hands 

 than all the families in the place. There was 

 hardly a day that he was not called in to attend 

 some one of the young ladies. Such recommen- 

 dations of her seminary as he used to give ! 



Miss ]\L — Though I cannot boast, madam, of 

 the number of my doctor's visits, I can boast of 

 those of my market-man. 



Mrs. F. — I can only pity, miss, your W'ant of 

 refinement. I shall by and by expect to see your 

 young ladies driving hoop, or playing at puss-in- 

 the-corner. 



Miss M. — As soon as the weather is propitious, 

 your expectation w:il be fulfilled. 



Mrs. F. — Shall we see football ? 



Miss M. — The feminine dress forbids. Besides, 

 we have more agreeable sports. If you will come 

 next spring, you shall see how well Ruth can use 

 the rake and hoe. You shall also see her scull a 

 boat across the pond after lilies. 



Mrs. F. — Abominable ! And you encourage 

 such things ! What if she should fall overboard ? 



Miss M. — She would not care much ; for Ruth 

 is a capital svi'immer. 



Mrs. F. — A swimmer? My niece a swimmer? 

 Your treatment of her is atrocious ! (Rising.) 

 AVhat next, miss ? Perhaps pugilism and the 

 broadsword exercise ! 



Miss M, (risiny.) — Well, to be candid, Ruth 

 is anxious to take lessons in fencing, and I do 

 not know but I shall let her learn the principles 

 of the art. 



Mrs. F. — Worse and worse ! If I do not hear 

 of her taking part in a prize-fight, I shall be glad. 

 I shall write to her father at once, denouncing 

 your whole system. 



Miss M. — You have been anticipated. He has 

 known it these two years. 



Mrs. F. — Well, if he is fool enough to submit 

 to it, I will go among my fashionable acquaintan- 

 ces, and expose the whole thing. 



Miss M. — You will oblige me by so doing. It 

 will save me some money in advertising. 



Mrs. F. — Provoking woman ! 



Miss M. — Permit me to say, madam, that you 

 are behind the age. Ill health is getting to be 

 unfashionable. Dyspepsia is no passport to the 

 best society. A cough is no certificate of what 

 you would call gentility. Sensible people are be- 

 ginning to realize the importance of abundant 

 air and exercise, not only to boys and men, but 

 to girls and women. To be "interesting," a 

 young lady need no longer cultivate a pallid face, 

 or protest that she is "ready to die with fatigue" 

 after a walk of a mile. The example of the high- 

 bred women of England, who walk their eight or 

 ten miles a day, is influencing us more and more. 

 So, if you would be in the fashion, you must give 



up your antiquated notions on the subject of 

 feminine exercise. 



Mrs. F. — You are an essentially vulgar person, 

 miss, and I shall not bestow my superior cultiva- 

 tion upon you any longer. You will soon find 

 what it is to have my disapproval. [Exit. 



Miss M. — Poor Mrs. Fluster ! Her disappro- 

 val has no terrors. Her recommendation is what 

 I dread. \_Exit, 



— SargenVs School Monthly. 



LADIES' DEPARTMENT. 



Worth Considering. — The following para- 

 graph from the pithy sayings of Ralph W. Em- 

 erson, contains food for reflection for a good 

 many ladies and fast men — and not for "fast" 

 men only, but for old " fogies " as well. We 

 give it for the benefit of all whom it may con- 

 cern : 



"We spend our income for paint and paper, 

 for a hundred trifles, I know not what, and not 

 for the things of man. It is for cake that we run 

 in debt ; 'tis not the intellect, not the heart, not 

 beauty, not worship, that costs so much. We 

 dare not trust our wit for making our house 

 pleasant to our friend, and so we buy ice-creams. 

 He is accustomed to carpets, and we have not 

 sufficient character to put floor cloths out of his 

 mind whilst he stays in the house, and so we pile 

 the floor with carpets. Let a house rather be a 

 temple for the furies of Lacedemon, formidable 

 to all, which none but a Spartan may enter or so 

 much as behold. As soon as there is society, 

 comfits and cushions will be left for slaves. 



Indian BiuiAD. — A lady contributor to the 

 Prairie Farmer closes an article on various sub- 

 jects with the following directions for cooking 

 Indian bread : — 



"Do you know how to make good, old-fash- 

 ioned Indian bread? Yes ! Well, do you know 

 how to cook it ? I will give you my plan. When 

 sufficiently light, place it in a hot oven ; put into 

 your tin or copper boiler a pail full of clean water 5 

 place it over the fire ; have made a wooden frame, 

 fitting snugly into the boiler, on which to place 

 your bread-pans. This must be high enough to 

 prevent the Avater boiling into the pans. When 

 your bread has baked three-fourths of an hour, 

 place it in the boiler, cover tight and steam three 

 hours. The water must not stop boiling until 

 the bread is done. You will have a nice loaf 

 without the hard crust formed by baking until 

 done." 



Simple Cure for Dysentery. — An old 

 friend handed us the following simple receipt, 

 for publication. It has been practiced in his 

 family for many years, with uniform success, ev- 

 en in the most alarming stages of the complaint: 

 Take Indian corn, roasted and ground in the 

 manner of coffee, (or coarse meal browned,) and 

 boil in a sufficient quantity of water to produce 

 a strong liquid like coffee, and drink a teacup 

 full, warm, two or three times a day. One day's 

 practice, it is said, will ordinarily effect a cure. — 

 Middletouhi Republican. 



