1869. 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



433 



THE HUMOR OF PAKMINQ. 



There is some humor connected with farm- 

 ing. 'J he newspapers inform me that I own a 

 model farm, and that 1 derive a large profit 

 from farming. So I do. But it is profit in 

 the higher f iculties, and not in the pocket. 

 A ge-.iilemau from Baltimore wrote to me as 

 follows : — 



"Dear Sir: — I see by the papers that your 

 farm netted }ou last year thirty-six thousand 

 dollars. Will you tell me what crops you 

 raise, and what is your method ? I have a 

 farm of two hundred acres near this city, and 

 I have never j'et been able to make it pay ex- 

 penses. Will you tell me how I can make it 

 as pro6table as yours ?" 



I replied (though I never s^ntit), "Dear 

 Sir : Don't change a particle. Keep on just 

 as you have done, and your farm and mine 

 will be as like as two peas. Your farm is 

 already just as profitable as mine. Truly 

 yours." 



It is a matter of surprise how much money 

 may be buried in a small piece of ground. 

 Indeed, many gentlemen are surprised. Sim- 

 ple as a smiling piece of ground looks, as it 

 lies before your contemplative eyes, it will 

 prove a match for your cunning To drain it 

 (and every piece of ground, wet or dry, 

 should be underlaid with drain- tile), to deepen 

 it (and no farm except mere pand is well 

 ploughed that has not been mellowed eighteen 

 inches deep), to gather off the stones, to dig 

 out boulders, and blat-t the rocks, to lay 

 boundary walls to enrich the whole with abun- 

 dance of manure, but above all, to do a goodly 

 amount of grading, will prevent any man from 

 hoarding his money. 



Then one must take account of work done 

 twice and thrice over, because you did not 

 know how to do it right the first time. Drains 

 two feet deep, that mu»t go down four feet ; 

 trees set where you don't want them, and 

 moved to where you don't want them either, 

 and moved again ; fancy crops, by which I 

 mean crops from seeds for which you pay 

 extravagant prices, whose yield is in an inverse 

 ratio to the desciiptions upon which you 

 bought; these, together with experimental 

 manure, and new machines for saving labor, 

 and newer machines, and machines still newer, 

 will give one an agreeable relaxation if he is 

 fond of spending his money. 



But if a man is <'onceited, and desires to be 

 brought to a realizing sense of his proper 

 place in creation, I advise him to attempt 

 grading. Grading is the art of recreating the 

 world. It makes valleys where nature made 

 hills. It makes hdls where the ages have 

 made valleys. It changes a northern slope 

 into a southern one. It smooths off the undu- 

 lating face of grounds, as a Hat-iron takes out 

 the wrinkles and creases of a sheet or table- 

 cloth. One has no idea bow thoroughly the 

 world was made until he undertakes to remake 

 it. I never admired hills as much as since I 



made a small one. I got it up about four 

 feet high and stopped ! It was a good lesson. 

 I now look with an increased respect upon the 

 neigboring hills. I had before no conception 

 of what it cost to make them. — Henri/ Ward 

 Beecher. 



How TO MAKB A Coi.d-Chisel. — Farmers 

 and gardeners frequently need a good cold 

 chisel for light work, such as cutting off rivets, 

 nails, or pieces of hoop iron. A piece of bar- 

 steel, and the forging it; into proper shape, 

 will cost from fifty cents to one dollar. Those 

 persons who want the use of a cold-chisel only 

 once a week or so, do not always have the 

 money to .«pare for a tool that they have but 

 little use for. Ther -fore to get a cheap chisel, 

 that will subserve all the purposes required, 

 make use of a large flat file that has been worn 

 out. Break off one end, so that a piece will 

 be left about eight inches long ; heat it in a 

 charcoal fire to near redness, and let it cool 

 gradually. Then the steel will be soft. Now 

 grind one end square and tr.ie for the head 

 end, and form the cutting edge by grinding 

 at the other end. Thrust the cutting end in 

 a charcoal fire, in the cook stove, until one 

 inch is red hot. Now cool half an inch of the 

 ed^e in cold water, which will render the edge 

 quite too hard. Watuh the color of the steel 

 as the different shades appear near and at the 

 cutting edge, and as soon as you see a light 

 straw-color on the surf ice, plunge the chisel 

 into cold water. By this means you will get 

 a cold-chisel sufficiently hard on the edge to 

 cut iron, and so soft and tough in the part 

 above the edge that it will bend rather than 

 break. — Exchange. 



EXTRACTS AND REPLIES. 



DWARF APPLE TREES. — CROPS IS MAIXE. 



How about the Dwarf Apple tree ? Are they 

 the best and quickest way to get an orchard, and 

 are they a long lired and tiardyiree, and will they 

 grow ou sandy land, &c. .■' 



We h'lru two starch mills here and another is 

 now building. Our potato crop brings more money 

 into town th in our Stock. Our crops look prom- 

 ising. Gra^s is looking well. Corn is small, hue 

 it is going ahead now. There are nuny kinds of 

 mowers in town, and every farmer has the hest — 

 so they say. We are selling our wool for for.y to 

 forty-two cents a pound Farmers met witn a 

 great loss on sheep, last winter. Our cows never 

 did better than this season. God bless our country 

 and evpryhody in it. j. G. 



South Andover, Me., July 4, 1869. 



Remarks.— In relation to dwarf apple trees, our 

 own experience has been such that we cannot re- 

 commend their general cultivation, though a few 

 trees in the garden may be well enough. Those 

 that we tried were imforted with dwarf pear trees. 



In his "American Fruit Culturist," Mr. Thomas 

 says, "for summer and autumn sorts, dwarf apples 

 are valuable in affording a supply to families. 

 They begin to bear in two or three years from set- 



