392 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Jnne 20, 1832. 



miscellanjr. 



From the Hubert Town Gazette. 



PARODY 



On " When lovely woman stoops to folly." 



Lines written on a lady spilling a cup of tea over liei' silk 

 dress. 



When lovely woman lilts her saucer. 

 She finds, too late, that tea will stain! 



What ever made a lady Grosser ? 

 What art can set all riglit again ? 



Alas I with indignation burning, 



French chalk she sees can never do! 



Her gown is spoileil, in vain is turning. 

 The envious tea has soaked quite through. 



Oh! that she could, more silk procuring. 

 Try a new breadth ! but silk there 's not! 



Then say what art, these evils curing. 

 Shall sooth the hapless fair one's lot ? 



The only art her fault to cover. 

 To hide the stain from every eye. 



To wear an unsoiled dress about her. 

 Of poplar color, is — to dye. 



From the Salem Gazette. 



TERRIFIC PICTURE. 



The. lollowiug passage is extracted from Mr 

 Sullivan's discourse, lately delivered in Boston, 

 before tlie Massachusetts Society for the Suppres- 

 .sion of Intetriperance. After relating the history 

 of the discovery of the art of distillation, which is 

 said to have been made by the alchemists, in pros- 

 ecuting their researches after the pbilosoplier's 

 stone, he proceeds, in a splendid prosopopeia: — 



"If it be imagined, that the office of history is 

 to announce the future, instead of recording the 

 past, bow would the world have received ber 

 tidings ! 



" In your researches after that which you should 

 at once have known to be impossible, by the laws 

 of nature, you have oi)eneil a fountain of misery 

 wliicb shall ilow for ages. You have not con- 

 tented yourself with pressing out the juices of the 

 fruits bestowed upon you, and converting these 

 into strong drink which you needed not — but you 

 have taken this strong drink, and the harvest 

 which was given to you for food, and have drawn 

 from these a liquid, which is not food and which 

 will not nourish nor sustain your earthly frame. 

 This liquid shall be a curse upon you and your 

 descemlants. It shall be known wherever the arl.s 

 of civilization are known. You shall call it the 

 elixir of life. You shall believe it to be nutritious 

 to the body and gladdening to the soul. The love 

 of it shall grow with the use of it. It shall sooth 

 the solitary hour and cheer the festive board. It 

 Bhall charm away your griefs, and be the cause of 

 your rejoicings. It shall be the inducement to 

 communion and the bond of friendship. It shall 

 be prized alike by tiie high and the low. It shall 

 be tlie joy of princes, as well a^ of tlie mean- 

 est of mortals. It shall be the stimulant to labo- 

 rious toil, and the reward for labor done. It shall 

 be bought and sold, and make the dealer therein 

 rich. It shall yield aliundant revenues to sove- 

 reignty. Hospitality shall be dishonored in not 

 oftering it to tlie guest, and the guest shall be dis- 

 graced in not receiving it at the hand of his liost. 



'But 



It shall visit your limbs 



with palsy ; it shall extinguish the pride of man 

 it shall iriake the husband hateful to the wife, and 

 the wife loathsome to the husband ; it shall anni- 

 hilate the love of offi*pring ; it shall make mem- 

 bers of society a shame and a reploach to each 

 other, and to all among whom they dwell. It 

 shall steal from the virtuous and the honorable 

 their good name, and shall make the strong and 

 the vigorous to totter along the streets of cities. 

 It shall pervert the law of habit, designed to 

 strengthen you in the path of duty and bind you 

 in its iron chain. It shall disgrace the judge upon 

 the bench, the minister in the sacred desk, and the 

 senator in his exalted seat. It shall make your 

 food tasteless, your mouth to burn as with a fever, 

 and your stomach to tremble as with disease. It 

 shall cause the besotted mother to overlay her 

 new-born, unconscious that it dies beneath the 

 pressure of ber weight ; the natural cravings of 

 the infant shall make it strive to awaken her, who 

 has passed, unheeded, to her last long sleep. The 

 sun shall hide bis face, that he may not behold 

 the father's depravity ; and the father shall see the 

 oliject of bis fondest hopes, turn to a fotd and 

 bloated carcass, that hurries to the grave. It shall 

 turn the children of men into raving maniacs ; and 

 the broken ties of blood and affection shall find 

 no relief, but in the friendly coming of death. As 

 the seed which man commits to the earth, comes 

 tbrth ill that which he converts into spirit, .«o shall 

 this product of his own invention, be as seed in his 

 own heart, to bring forth violence, rapine and 

 murder. It shall cause man to shut up his fellow 

 man in the solitude of a grated cell. The prisoner 

 shall turn ))ale and tremble in his loneliness, at the 

 presence of his own thoughts ; he shall come forth 

 to die, in cold blood, by the hand of his fellow, 

 with the spectacle of religious homage on a scaf- 

 fold and amid the gaze of curious thousands. 

 Poverty sliall be made squalid and odious, even so 

 that charity shall turn away ber face in disgust. 

 It shall attract the pestilence that walks even at 

 noon-day, in darkness, to the very vitals of the 

 drunkard, as carrion invites the far sighted bird of 

 prey. The consumer of siiirit shall be found dead 

 ill the highway, with the exhausted vessel by Ids 

 side. Yea, the drunkard shall kindle a fire in his 

 own bosom, which shall not depart from him till 

 he is turned to ashes. The dropsical drunkard 

 shall die in his delirium, and the fluid which has 

 gathered in his brain, shall smell like spirit and 

 like spirit shall burn. A feeble frame, an imbe- 

 cile mind, torturing pain and incurable madness, 

 shall be of the inheritance which drunkards be- 

 queath, to run with their blood, to innocent de- 

 scendants." 



length, and weighing, though very lean, one hvn- 

 dred and thirty pounds ! The first mark of the 

 trap or animal, on the ground, was about sixteen 

 feet from where the trap lay, froin which it is sup- 

 posed he must have leaped nearly or quite that 

 distance, when the traj) closed upon his leg. — Rut- 

 land (Vermont) Herald. 



Sport for Gentlemen. — Take a double barrel 

 fowling piece, with shot-bag and jmuch, go into 

 the fields and shoot the little birds that destroy the 

 worms on the trees and the insects on the plants. 

 If by your success the field birds should be killed 

 off or frightened away, set yourself down upon ' 

 a bank, and try your band upon the useful and 

 harmless swallows, who are skininung the mea- 

 dows on their swiftest wing. It will show your 

 skill as a marksman; and the pleasure of their dy- 

 ing scream will be greatly enhanced by the re 

 flection, that their unfledged offspring will die of 

 starvation in their nests. Ft would be excellent 

 emjiloyment at least, and we know of one gentle- 

 man who makes it bis sport. — Connecticut Herald. 



Prizes vs. Blanks. — In order to show to the 

 purchasers of lottery tickets, something like a fair 

 view of the chances they have, for making money, 

 we give the following results from a broker's 

 books: He sold, in ten months, tickets amount- 

 ing to 45t!5 dollars ; and paid out in prizes, 1400 

 dollars, or less than one third. 



Here then, was the sum of 3165 dollars carried 

 out of this town and out of the State, for — nothing. 

 It was, too, in many cases, drawn from the pock- 

 ets of those who could very ill afford it. — Ports- 

 mouth Journal. 



FAIR SPORT. 



A man in VVallingford recently killed a mon- 

 strous Catairiount, in the following manner : — 

 Having two sheep killed the night before, and sup- 

 posing the aggressor a bear, he procured a large 

 trap and set it in a position considered the most 

 advantageous for taking him. On the follqwing 

 morning he went to the spot, and finding the trap 

 gone, traced it to a tree at some distance, where 

 he found the animal secure, although he had suc- 

 ceeded in ascending the tree to the length of the 

 chain attached to the trap. With the assistance 

 of his neighbors he succeeded in despatching him. 

 He was truly a monster, measuring seven feet in 



Horse Qnicksilver. 



QUICKSILVER will stand this season at the stable of 

 the sub-scriber, in Bri^liton.a few rods south of the nieet- 

 ing-housc, and will cover only twenty marcs the present 

 seiison, at $15 cacli, and .$1 in addition, to the gioom. 

 Maies warranlcd to be in foal, if $20 is paid, and $1 to 

 the groom ; and in discharge of warranty, the fSO will 

 be returned. 



Quicksilver is ? beantilu! bright bay, three years old ; 

 his sire. Sir Isaac Coffin's horse, Barefoot, conspicuous ia 

 the racing calendar of England ; his dam, Hebecca, Irom 

 the imported Cleveland bay horse Sii Isaac, and Sky 

 Laik, a native mare, well known fur her fine form, speed, 

 and bottom, once owned by Mr Leavittol f-'alem, to wboiii 

 persons are referred for her character, and will be to many 

 others in Massacliuselts and Maine. QuicksiUer is 

 thought by good judges to combine with great symmetry 

 and delicacy of lorm, bone, muscle, and all the requisites 

 for a first rate covering horse. Mares sent to him, and 

 if left wiih the subscribe"', will be well attended to on rea- 

 sonable terms, but he will not be responsible lor acci- 

 dents. BENJAMI.N W. HOBART. 



Brighton, June 13, 1S32. tf 



Canada Squash. 



JUST received at the Seed Store connected with the 

 New England Farmer, 50^ North Market street, Boston, 

 a few pounds of small Canada crooked-neck Squash Seed, 

 that usually lipcns about the first of August. Tho-e who 

 have lost their seed this spiing, by rotting, will find this 

 the best sort to sow at this late period, to insure a good 

 crop of winter Squashes, as they ripen in so much short- 

 er time than the common large \tinter crook-necks. 



June 13. 



Published every Wednesday Evening, at 53 per annum, 

 |ia>able at the enii of the 3 ear — but those who pay within 

 sixty days from the- time of subscribing, are entitled to a 

 deduction ol fift}' cents. 



ILr No paper will be sent to a distance without payment 

 beingmadein advance. 



Printed for J. B. Russell, by I, R. Butts — by whom 

 all descriptions of Printing can be executed to moet tha 

 wishf'B of customers. Orders for Printing received by J, B. 

 PusBELL, at the Agricultural Warehouse, Ko.62, North 

 Alarket Street. 



