130 



The Grape Culturist. 



A CHAPTER ON BOEERrf : Terebra Ejusdem Farina. 



Nearly every tree, plant and animal 

 has an attendant borer that labori- 

 ously gnaws at it. The ones which 

 I now, propose to notice are those 

 annoying the vineyardists ; one of 

 the animals of the human species, 

 most bored. 



There are two kinds of borers 

 known to trouble grape vines and 

 their owners, neither of which have 

 as yet effected a lodging within my 

 plantations; though there doubtless 

 are some vineyards, in and about 

 Nauvoo, that may have suffered from 

 their depredations. 



One of these borers was first 

 brought to light by some doctor — of 

 the inquisitive kind (confound them), 

 who must always go at the root of 

 thing's. This borer, (not the doctor), 

 attacks the roots of vines and riddles 

 them pretty thoroughly ; it is quite 

 hurtful but does not claim my imme- 

 diate attention; some more worthy 

 but rather enthusiastic entomologists 

 having promised to watch him and 

 report, 1 abandon the creature to their 

 tender mercies. 



The other, and the only one which 

 now claims my special attention, is 

 generally a close-shaved, roundheaded 

 borer, differing from the peach borer 

 in being pale faced, the head stuck on 

 a long black looking body, Avith only 

 two well defined legs ; no '^volegs but 

 many pronouns. 



This indefatigable, and in no way 

 over-scrupulous borer, lays its eggs at 

 all times of the year at the base of 

 stumps, a piece of furniture insepara- 

 ble from those halls known as Tem- 



perance Halls (!) the why I know not, 

 unless it be by way of antithesis, it 

 being a matter of fact that therein 

 the most senseless and intemperate 

 ideas are hatched, and kept alive, to 

 bore the unfortunate mortals who be- 

 friend the vine : thence comes the 

 total-abstinence borer. 



How to ward off or arrest the con- 

 tinual encroachments of this garru- 

 lous and obstinate driller has been the 

 constant thought of the successors of 

 Noah, most affected by the persistent 

 gnawings of this vermin. 



The task might have proven easy in 

 the enlightened and progressive impul- 

 sion of the nineteenth century had not 

 an unforeseen miscegenation increased 

 the difficulties in the way. 



Republics have disadvantages that 

 mar their advantages ! More than any 

 other human aggregations they are sub- 

 ject to the pernicious effects of that most 

 plentiful and destructive insect, which 

 has been called by distinguished natur- 

 alists, the Politician. The world over 

 it is considered as the bane of demo- 

 cratic institutions ; entomologists well 

 known, for their careful observations 

 have, most appropriately, classed thia 

 parasite among the genera borer, and 

 a most disastrous one has it thus far 

 proven. 



There generally is no genuine sym- 

 pathy between these two classes of 

 borers, their general instincts and ap- 

 petites leading them to bore for the 

 juices of human animals in quite differ- 

 ent ways : the miscegenation mentioned 

 above lies in the fact of a most unna- 

 tural combination between them to suck 



