192 



TO THE PATRONS AND FRIENDS OF THE 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Old Time, who never stops to bait, 

 Nor halts nor hobbles in his gait. 

 This globe hath trundled round the sun, 

 Whirl'd like a top by truant spun ; 

 Thus circumscrib'd that trackless route. 

 On which the year is measur'd out, 

 Precisely as surveyors mete 

 An acre by its rods and feet. 

 But, though the recent year has scud 

 To join the " years before the flood," 

 Yet eighteen hundred twenty-five 

 Finds all survivors still alive. 

 And all men living, more or less, 

 Anticipating our Addressr— 

 That solid sort of mental fare. 

 Which custom bids your bard prepare. 

 Like Christmas or Thanksgiving cheer, 

 To celebrate the new-born year. 



But here we humbly hope and pray 

 That certain critics of the day 

 May honour us with condemnation 

 Not blast us with their approbation, — 

 Their praise would be a stroke of fate 

 Which we devoutly deprecate. 

 We doubt if even Homer's lays 

 Had stood before a blockhead's praise, 

 And must confess we ha\'e a real 

 Dread of that terrible ordeal. 



We hate that kind of rhyming cant. 

 That pseudo-scntinrental rant, 

 That stuff which comes as nigh to fustian, 

 As is caloric to combustion — 

 That something 'twixt a roar and gabble. 

 Which suits the fashionable rabble, 

 Who have our literature disgrac'd, 

 Yet think to rule the realms of taste. 

 Such would-be wits, in every line, 

 Seek somethiug- oiore than superfine ; — 

 Something to cause especial wonder, 

 And strike one like a clap of thunder — 

 Something to match that storm of horror. 

 Which erst 'whelm'd Sodom and Gomorrah, 

 Set forth in metaphors so dread, 

 A hound would howl to hear it read I 

 And all not fairly up to that, 

 Tliey stigmatize as " mighty flat." 

 Now, though it may be true, we could 

 Write just such nonsense, if we would, — 

 It is most certain that we should 

 Not write such nonsense if we could ; 

 But shall o'erpass, on no pretence, 

 The butts and bounds of common sense. 



■ So much premis'd, by way of proem, 

 To our inimitable poem. 

 We now will undertake to raise 

 The superstructure of our lays. 

 Like Horace, who in olden time, 

 Uprear'd a monument in rhyme, 

 Which has, and may endure as long 

 \5 this our edifice of song. 



We print a paper, which imparts 

 Much knowledge of that art of arts, 

 Which forms the social fabric's base. 

 And feeds and clothes the human race. 

 'l"he information which it brings. 

 Flows from a multitude of springs — 

 About as many, wc should deem, 

 As swell the Mississippi's stream ; 

 Which might, perhaps, be made appear, 

 By some long-headed engineer — 

 But, as we're forc'd to "go hv guess,'''' 

 We'll say as many, more or less. 

 We hold, or wish to hold, communiou, 

 With every Farmer in the Union, 

 On each we have no hesitation 

 To draw our bills for information, 

 And each can furnish more or less, 

 Oood matter for the Fariher's 1'ress, 

 Which will, no doubt, be useful found 

 Tcr most good men, who till the ground — 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



And thus, beyond all calcalation, 



Fromote the welfare of the nation. 



Besides, what Europe can afford. 



Is added to that mental hoard, 



From which we draw, and deal with pleasure 



The quantity our columns measure. 



We thus make Gaffer Bull disclose 



The best of v.hat his worship kuov.'s — 



State what improvements he has made 



Which may our agriculti're aid. 



And what we like of his procedures. 



We print to benefit our readers. 



We give you famous recipes 

 For making butter, bread, and cheeae, 

 Beer, cider, yeast, and currant wine, 

 And in Ihe culinary line. 

 Count llumford, so the Ladies tell us, 

 Was hardly able to excel us. 

 Our rules inform you to a tittle. 

 How you may make the most of little, — 

 And, lest that should not quite content ye, 

 How you may make the best of plenty. 

 For instance, how to make genteel 

 Cosmetics, out of Indian meal — 

 As good Champagne from gooseberry juice 

 As Gallic vineyards can produce — 

 And from tobacco juice a pigment, 

 (Unless the statement is a figment) 

 Which is as t-legant a green 

 As connoiseurs have ever seen. 

 We give you rules for curing botls. 

 And makinc; sober men of sots. 

 'We tell how cider shold be bottled. 

 And how, whene'er an ox is throttled. 

 By some hard substance in hi? gullet. 

 To make an eiirarl, or annul 'il. 

 Onr economic rules produce. 

 In every house, a vddow's cruse ; — 

 That is to say, our pages tell 

 How one may live so cheap and well. 

 That his expenditures appear 

 T' increase his income every year. 



We give each week a condensation 

 Of great events throughout the nation, — 

 Likewise as much of foreign news 

 As serves to profit or amuse. 



We have our gratitude exprcss'd 

 To our great Nation's Noiii.E Guest, 

 Who erst perennial laurels won 

 In combatting with Wasiiikgtox, 

 To gain for us and our descendants, 

 Peace, Liberty, and Independence. 



But, lest we weary you with prating. 

 And samples of our merit stating, 

 We'll cut our poem's thread off here, 

 By wishing you a happy year — 

 Then, should your Honour think it right 

 Our suit and service to requite 

 With something like a compensation 

 For all the useful information. 

 Which, once a week, your Carrier brought you. 

 You'll be the Gentleman we thought you. 

 And for your weal, with zeal most fervent. 

 Will pray 



Your most Obedient Servant, 



THE CARRIER. 



[Jan. 7, 



sea shore, and diverting myself in now and thpn 

 finding a smnotlier jiebble.or a prettier shell than 

 ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all 

 undiscovered before me." 



Anecdote of Dr Young. — As the Doctor was 

 wallcing in his garden, at WeUvyn, in company 

 with two ladies, one of whom iie allerwards 

 married, ;. servant came to tell him a gentleman 

 wished to speak with him. '• Tel! him," says 

 the Doctor, " I !im too happib; engaged to 

 change my situation." The ladies insisted (hat 

 he shoulil go, as his visitor was a man of rank, 

 his patron and his friend. As persuasions, liow- 

 ever had no effect, one took him hy (he righf 

 arm, (he other hy the let't,' and led him to the 

 garden gate ; when, lindiiig resistance was vain, 

 he bowed, laid his hand on liis heart and in (hat 

 expressive manner for which he was so remak- 

 al)le spoke the following lines : — 



Thus Adam looked, when from the garden driven, 



And thus disputed orders sent from Heaven, 



Like bini 1 go ; but yet to go am loth ; 



Like him I go ; for angels drove us both. 



Hard was his fate ; but mine still more unkind. 



His Eve went with him, but mine stays behind. 



Ever}' day feelings and fire-side enjoyments 

 decide Ihe tenor of our lives, and he who values 

 them most plays the host stake for happiness. 



Court the company of learned, and the con- 

 versation of the aged; their discourse is ofteu 

 more useful than any hook you can read. 



The great end of philosophy, ho(h natural and 

 nnoral, is (o know ourselves and to know God. 

 " The highest learning is to lie wi-^e, and the 

 greatest wisdom is to be good ;" as Marcus Aq- 

 tonius somewhere observes. 



A A''ei':spdpcr is a kind of prospective, within 

 Ihe range of which every interesting object in 

 the animal and vegetable kingdom is brought ; it 

 brings within the vision, collected in one group, 

 the whole variety of animated nature. Human 

 life, in all its vicissitudes of woand weal, passes 

 before us ; and to brighten the dark picture of 

 reality, romance blends with her softer hues, an<l 

 poetry sprinkles on its borders her delicate sun 

 beams. 



Fix your character, and keep it ; whether 

 alone or in companj'. 



JVorth American Review. 



JUST published by Cummings, Hilliard & Co. the 

 North American Review, lor January l!i25. 



Contents. 



Art. 1 — Lord Byron's Poems page 1 



Art. 2 — Phillips' Law of Insurance 



Art. 3 — Mr Poinsett's Notes on Mexico 



Art. 4 — Baltimore 



Art. 5 — Writings of Herder, relating to Belles ^ 

 Lettres and the Arts ^ 



Art. 6 — Memoirs of Lafayette 



At,t. 7 — Pickering's Massachusetts Reports 



Art. 8— Emigration to Africa and Ilayti 



Art. 9 — Escalala, an American Tale 



Art. 10 — Critical A'ottces ; History of Philadelphia — 

 Bigelow's Flora Bostouiensis — Russell on Crimes — 

 General Hull's Memoirs — Improvement of Govern- 

 ment — Auction System — Evenings in New England 

 — New England Farmer — New Publications, &c. 



*^*The N. A. Review is published by Cummings, Hil- 

 liard & Co. Boston, at $5 per annum. Jan. 1. 



47 

 77 

 99 



138 



147 

 180 

 191 

 210 



TERMS OF THE FARMER. 



Q:^ Published every Saturday, at Thkke Doi.t.abb 

 per annum, payable at the end of the year — but tliose 

 who pay within sixty days from the time of subscribing 

 will be entitled to a deduction of Fifty Cents. 



(E5~Postage must be paid on all letters to the Editor 

 or Publisher. 



(j;^ No paper will be discontinued (unless at the 



Sir Isaac Nezvton. — " I do not know (.said the 

 great philosopher, a little before his death,) : dism-tion of the publisher,) until arrearages are paid, 

 what I may appear to the world ; 1)U( to myself I j CfirNew subscribers can he accommodated with the 

 seem lo have been only like a boy playing on the I preceding numbers of the currcut volume. 



