288 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



[April 1, 



iHisccUanics. 



BY T. C. FESSENDEN. 



PHYSIOGNOMY. 

 The Deity, in kindness to our race, 

 Hath set a stamp on every human face, 

 By which, together with the shape and air, 

 A shrewd observer may at once declare, 

 From characters of no ambiguous kind, 

 What are the leading lineaments of mind. 

 Your savage-seeming, verjuice-visag'd noddies 

 Have minds, in general, fitted to their bodies. 

 Nature, with all her whims, is rarely known 

 To gild the casket of a worthless stone. 

 Of reptiles venomous there are but few. 

 Which are not likewise loathsome to the view. 

 There are exceptions to these general rules. 

 When wise men show the indices of fools ; 

 Shrewd ^sop, and sage Socrates, we're told, 

 Had features fashion'd in the roughest mould ; 

 But these may rank among anomalous cases, 

 And few bright minds are blurr'd with ugly faces : 

 And where the soul is barbarous and rough 

 The body is of corresponding stuff. 

 God never meant to mask his human creatures, 

 And passions mould and modify the featnn ■:, 

 Till one as plainly may peruse their trace?, 

 As read a label in their tell-tale faces ; 

 The signs are sure as text of holy book. 

 For tlius we say one has a haiiging look ; 

 That man's appearance indicates a quiz, 

 This man exhibits an assasin's phiz. 

 But grief and care too commonly we find, 

 Or hopeless love, eclipse the brightest mind ; 

 Anxiet}' the fairest visage shrouds. 

 And mental light scarce glimmers through the clouds 

 When we perceive the wan brow overcast, 

 Scath'd by the lightning of misfortune's blasts 

 'Tis worth one's tender and judicious care 

 To dissipate the gloom that's gather'd there ; 

 And if it rose from carking care or love. 

 Which time and tender treatment may remove. 

 The wand of friendship haply we may find 

 May call back sunshine to the darkened mind. 



A pleasing vnriety of joint stock companies, 

 founded of course most disinferestedly for the 

 public advantage, have of late year-s risen like 

 exhalations : there has been a Bread Company, 

 a Beer Company, a Pawnhrokering Company, a 

 Washing by Steam Company, a Stove Grate 

 Company, and many others, none of which need 

 he now mentioned, excepting the Jihhrncy Alllk 

 Company, the last-born olTspring of monopoly. — 

 This nutritious society profe??e« to purvey the 

 vaccine beverage in undduted states; and diffi- 

 dent of the absolute uncorruptness of its yoke- 

 bearing agents, sends thorn forth furnished with 

 pails, under the security of lock and key, so that 

 the fluid can only be drawn olT by means of a 

 tap. it appears that the directors are persons 

 of whom it can be said wilh truth — 



Their souls proud science never tau^-fct to stray 

 Far as the Solar Walk or Mdkywny, 



for they have invented a philosophical instru- 

 ment called ^Lactometer. One of their custom- 

 ers having complained, that the article wilh 

 which he had been formerly supplied, was su- 

 perior to that of (he Compitny ; " Say you .so ?" 

 »ei>liod the indigna.nt dairyman, " then 1 (vill 



bring my lactometer to-morrow, and convince 

 you of your mistake." In thi? age of science, 

 we may fairly expect soon to find milkmen with 

 F. R. S. appended to their names, and cheese- 

 mongers and tapsters, who — 



Can tell by sines and tangents straight, 



If cheese or butter wanted weight ; 



And by a geometric scale, 



Can take the size of pots of ale. Lond.pap, 



Dr Greene's Cure for Drunkenness — Whenever 

 you feel an inclination to drink spirituous liquor 

 (grog) drink cool fresh water. This is an ef- 

 fectual cure, and in a very short time, you will 

 make a sober man, out of the greatest drunkard. 

 Drunkenness, the Doctor says, is a disease of 

 the stomach, and cool water is the remedy. In 

 an answer of the Doctor to a letter I sent him, 

 relative (o my sickness and drinking spirituous 

 liquors, it contained in substance what I now 

 write, and, thank providence, it has perfectly 

 cured me of that dreadful disease called drunk- 

 enness. 



I can now attend to my business, and can say, 

 that a sober life is a good life — a saving of many 

 things ; it is a saving of cash, it is a saving of 

 the constitution, it is a saving of a man's credit. 



THINGS I NEVER SAIV. 



1. I never saw n printer get two thirds of his 

 subscription money. 



2. 1 never saw a constable, nor a squire, get 

 very rich by his olBce. 



3. 1 never saw a mountebank speak in favor 

 of a regular bred physician. 



4. I never saw a man get wealthy by horse- 

 swapping. 



5. I never saw a gambler who would not tell 

 a fib, IF he was hard run ! 



6. I never saw a woman opposed to petticoat 

 government. 



7. I nover saw an old bachelor offer courtship 

 to an old maid ; nor a young girl accept of a 

 poor old bachelor. 



8. 1 never saw a widow refuse marrying on 

 account of her age ! 



9. 1 never saw a man thrive by the plough, 

 who did not either hold or drive. 



10. I never saw a clean hearth and a drunken 

 wife in the same family. 



1 1 . I never saw a subscriber praise the ediior, 

 afler he was sued for the paper. 



ever, to strike either the Guanico or the Ostrich with 

 them, in the chase, but they discharge them so that the 

 cord comes against (he legs of the Ostrich, or two of 

 the legs of the Guanico, and is twisted round them by 

 the force and swing of the balls, so that the animal, . 

 being unable to run, becomes an easy prey to the hunter. 

 ^= Lond. pap. 



An inhabitant of Corfu, who recently returned to 

 that island after an absence of 38 years, found his wife 

 in good health, but the widow of three husbands whom 

 she had succesively married. This man was a mariner, 

 who had long resided at Spitsbergen, where he employ- 

 ed himself in the whale fishery. 



JOSF.PH BRIDGE, No. 25, Court street, has ju.st 

 received, per London Packet, Capt. Ward, and for 

 sale, a large assortment of Garden, Field, and Grasi 

 Seeds, which added to his former stock, makes the most 

 extensive variety in New England — among them are, 



40 bushels early and 

 late Peas, various 

 kinds. 



Eeans, various kinds, 



Early and late Cauli- 

 (lower. 



Cabbage, various kinds, 

 including the follow- 

 ing new and choice 

 kinds, viz. St. Georg- 

 es, Plows Early, Wel- 

 lington, Imperial, and 

 Ratcatcher, 



Lettuce, various kinds. 



Melon, do. do. 



Early Frame, Short Top, 

 Scarlet, Salmon, Blk. 

 Spanish, Red and 

 \\ hite Turnip Radish, 

 100 lbs. jVangd U'lirl- 

 stl. Sugar Beet, 



200 lbs. Carrot, 

 Salsnjie, or Vegetable 



Oyster, 

 Scorer.era, 

 Chervil, 

 Red, While and Italian 



Celery, 

 Batavian and curled 



Endive, 

 Sweet Marjorum, 

 Thyme, 

 Summer and Winter 



Savory, 

 Sage — Baum, 

 Sweet Bazil, 

 Lavender, 

 Lveerne, 

 Red and White CloV'j 



Herd's Grass, 

 Foul Meadow, 

 Red Top, &c. 



150 lbs. Rutabaga, 



Wilh over 200 varieties of Ornamenlal Seeds. Gar- 



[ den Tools, viz : — Pruning and Budding Knives — Pru." 



ning Saw? — Garden Reels and Lines— Edging Irons — 



Rakes. Dutch or Pushing Hoes, Transplanting Trowels. 



Bird Seeds, Green House Plants, and Flower Pot» 



FViiit and Ornamental Trees. 



Mex. Tiihch, Esq. — This respected individual, on 

 the 26th ult. closed a long lite of literary and scientif- 

 ic devotedness ; during which he displayed indiiatig- 

 ahle industry and zeal in worthy public pursuits, and 

 was no less distinguished for integrity and excellence 

 in the private relations of life. He was for many years 

 the editor of the "Philosophical Magazine ;"and r. jirin- 

 cipal proprietor and director of the "Star" newspaper. 

 He also engaged in other periodical as well as distinct 

 publications ; and in none we believe, ever broached a 

 sentiment which could shed a cloud upon his dying bed. 



Erperl Slingers. — The natives of Patagonia carry a 

 missile weapon of a singular kind, tucked into thegirdle. 

 It consists of two round stones, covered with leather, 

 each weighing above a potnul, which .^re fastened to the 

 two ends of a string, about eight feet long. This is 

 used as a sling, one stone being kept in the hand, and 

 the other whirled round the head till it is supposed to 

 have acquirt-d sutficieut force, and then discharged at 

 tlio object. They are so expert in the management of 

 tliis doiible headed shot, that they will hit a mark not 

 bigger than a shilling, with both the stones, at the 

 distance of fifteen yards : it is not their custom, how- 



OR sale, as usual, at the Ktnrick Place^ 



near Brighton. The Nurseries have 



been much enlarged, and contain a variety of Pears, 

 Apples, Cherries, Plums, Apricots, etc. Also, the finest 

 variety of budded Peach Trees known in America ; con- 

 sistingof a choice collection of about 40 of the most ap- 

 proved kinds in our best gardens, or seen in the 

 markets ; the Peach Trees are from five to eight feet 

 high, and sold at the moderate price of 30 cents each, 

 of good sized ornamental trees, the flowering Horse 

 Chesnut, flowering Catalpa ; European Mountain Ash ; 

 Weeping Willow ; the Evergreen Silver Fir, and the 

 Larch; English Walnuts and Butter Nuts, both of 

 which are justly admired for their fruit. 



Currant Bushes of the large prolific red kind, of all 

 sizes, by the dozen, hundred, or thousand, on moderate 

 terms. Also, the black, white, and Champaign do ; I 

 red and white Roses ; Lilacs ; Ensrlish Grapes, &c. 



Orders addressed to JOHN or WILLIA.M KENRICK, 

 and sent to the Brighton Post Office, or to the Office of 

 DAN.\ Si FENNO,Brokers, in State-street, Boston, will 

 be duly attended to. 



N. B. Trees will be packed in clay and mats for ship- 

 ping, and conveyed to Boston when ordered ; but gen- 

 tlemen at a distance should employ some agent to re- 

 ceive and pay for them. 



On Wednesdays and Saturdays, trees will be de- 

 livered in Boston, free of charge for conveyance. As 

 one year's growth is often lost by greatly diminishing 

 the roots, if the trees survive, special care will be takeu 

 for their preservation. Feb. 25. 



TERMS OF THE FARMER. 

 OCJ^Publisherl every Friday, at Three Doi.t.abS 



per annum, payable at the end of the year — but those 

 who pay within sixty days {rom the time of subscribinj 

 will be entitled to a deduction ot I'liTV Cents. 1 



