THE GENESEE FARMER. 



127 



Ipsallaiufltts. 



l Potatoes.— Some years ago, a gentleman visit- 

 armer at Tallond, Conn., took from his pocket a 

 iotato which somehow had got in there at home. 

 ,hrown out with a smile, and the farmer took it in 

 d to look at it. A littie boy of twelve at his elbow 

 what it was. "0, nothing but a potato, my boy; 

 id plant it, and you shall have all you can raise 

 till you are of age." The lad took it, and the farmer 

 t no more about it at that time. The boy, however, 

 pising small potatoes, carefully divided it into as 

 ieces as he could find eyes, and put them in the 

 . The product was carefully put aside in the fall, 

 ed for several hills was obtaiued for the next 

 The product was all kept for seed, until the 

 year, the yield being good, the actual product was 

 mdred bushels. The farmer, seeing the prospect 

 ■ another year the potato field would cover his 

 'arm, asked to be released from his promise, 

 i the same calculation, prudence and industry, how 

 ybo are disposed to regard the trifling things upon 

 fortunes are built, as too "small potatoes" to re- 

 leir attention, would have been in independent cir- 

 nces if they had husbanded their 'small advanta- 

 Small potatoes should not be despised, even though 

 ; at first "few iu a hill." 



Purchasing a Husband.— Susan, a country girl desirous 

 of matrimony, received from her mistress a present of a 

 five pound bank note for her marriage portion. Her mis- 

 tress wished to see the object of Susan's favor, Mid a very 

 diminutive fellow, swarthy as a Moor, and ugly as an ape, 

 made his appearance. 



" Ah, Susan," said the mistress, " what a strange choice 

 you have made." 



"La, madam," said Susrn, "in such hard times as these 

 when about all the tall fellows are gone for soldiers, what 

 more of a man could you expect for a five pound note?" 



Love of the Beautiful.— A farmer was one day 

 visiting the owner of a beautiful country-seat in Brook- 

 lyn, and walking with him through the little grove, out 

 of which. all the underbrush had been cleaned, paths had 

 J)eeu nicely cut and gravelled, and the rocks covered with 

 woodbine, suddenly stopped, lifted up his hands, and ex- 

 claimed: "This I like; this is Nature with her hair 

 combed !" 



A Scotch Stoic. — " Ah ! John, you won't have me much 

 longer. I shall never leave this bed alive." "Please 

 thee-self, Betty, and thee'll please me," returned John, 

 with great equanimity. "I have been a good wife to you, 

 John," persisted the dying woman. " Middlin', Betty, 

 middlin' '," responded. the matter-of-fact husband. 



t-PuArED Himself. — During the prevalence of the 

 i in Virginia, the negroes on the different plauta- 

 ecarae dreadfully alarmed, and thought they would 

 ily die with it. Among others, in one of the upper 

 58j was a negro boy who, having heard his father 

 at the cholera would soon be along that way, left 

 rk one day and betook himself to the woods. Here 

 i found by his overseer soon after, fast asleep. Be- 

 ;en to task by him for leaving his work, he excused 

 .f on the ground that, not being " prepared to die," 

 d gone to the woods "to meditate." "But," said 

 rerseer, "how was it that you went to sleep?" 

 I, I don't know, massa, how dat was 'zactly," re- 

 ed the negro ; " but I speck I must have over-prayed 



A Fast Man. — A journalist has discovered that, all 

 things considered, railways are very slow, and behind the 

 age. He says that, when traveling, he blushes to think 

 that the message over the telegraph flies like lightning, 

 while he is lazily creeping at only thirty or forty miles an 

 hour. 



A young Irishman who had married when he was 

 about nineteen years old, complained of the difficulties to 

 which his early marriage had subjected him, and said he 

 would not marry so young again, if he lived to be as old 

 as Methuselah. 



salutary Thought. — When I was a young man, 

 lived in our neighborhood a farmer who was usual- 

 lorted to be a very liberal man, and uncommonly 

 at in his dealings. When he had any of the pro- 

 )f his farm to dispose of, he made it an invariable 

 3 give good measure— rather more than could be re- 

 i of him. One of his friends, observing him fre- 

 ly doiug so, questioned him why he did it — told him 

 ve too much, and said it would not be to his advan- 



Now mark the answer of this excellent man. 



Almighty has permitted me but one journey 

 ch the world, and when gone I can uot return to 

 y mistakes." Think of this. But one joarney 

 o-h the world ! 



The Latest.— A gentleman rode up to a public house 

 in the country, and asked, "Who is the master of this 

 house?" "I am, sir," replied the landlord; " my wife 

 has been dead about three weeks." 



" There is no duty, there is no pleasure, there is no sen- 

 timent, which does not borrow from enthusiasm a charm 

 which is still in perfect unison with the simple beauty of 

 truth." 



A Good Wife. — A preacher, in a funeral sermon on a 

 lady, after summing up all her good qualities, added, 

 " that she always reached her husband his hat without 

 muttering." 



member always that if you would be loved, you must 



liable. 



Love's Wonders. — One year of love would do more to- 

 ward setting us mutually right when in the wrong, than 

 an eternity of wrangling. 



^ i ■ ■ 



To be pleased with one's self is the surest way of of- 

 fending everybody else. 



Woman. — A down East Yankee very cutely says : 

 "Though the men hold the reins, the women tell them 

 which way to drive." 



