376 



THE GENESEE FARMER. 



isttURnniis. 



LEGAL WHISKERS. 



As o'er their wine and walnuts sat, 

 1 alkm.fi: "f this and then of that 

 Two wights, well learned in the law— 

 That is, well-skilled to find a flaw— 

 haul one companion to the other: 

 How is it, most respected brother. 

 I hat you, of late, have shaved away 

 Those whiskers, which, for many a day, 

 Had ornamented much your cheek f 

 Nire. 'twas an idle, silly freak." 

 Jo whom the other answer gave 

 With look half merry and half grave : 

 Though others be by whiskers graced, 

 A lawyer can't be too bare-faced." 



'. ■ ■ i ^ — . 



The Tomb of Napoleon-Ad Englishman, some years 



since visited the tomb of Napoleon, and indited in the 



register a verse on the ex-Emperor to this effect: 



Bony was a great man, 



A soldier brave and true; 

 But Wellington did lick him at 

 The field of Waterloo. 



me^ilref 66 f ^ the PlHCe S00D after ' and wrot «™- 

 mediately under it: 



But greater still and braver far 



TOn. n w'T her lhan Sh,l e-Ieath t 'r, 

 Was Washington, the man wot could 

 Have liek ^ them both together. 

 The next visitor was a Frenchman; who, like all his 

 C^unt rjmeD deep]j attached tQ the memorv 



S Z tT V r ad the ^^ StaDZa WUh h0rror «* dis- 

 gust. Thelankee skipper's addition next attracted his 



danced 1 rf " ^ read -*»P*». grinned, and 

 scre.1 °"V he r °° m J" a P« ro ^-» of -Agnation, 

 screaming, "Monsieur Bull is one grand brute, but 'e 



I shall cut him in vera small pieces." He called for his 



ev ; ; n h d e ;: t , r to ,own ' and s °»^ *• *•■£ 



every where. Alas ! the bird had flown 



God Governs Barns— A wealthy capitalist, who 



made the most of his own fortune, and, what was har, 



taken care of it, gives the following as the secret of 



success: "Honor the Lord with all thy substance, > 



with the first fruits of all thine increase; so shall 



barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses burst fo 



with new wine." The philosophy of the matter is sim 



this : God governs barm. We are willing to allow t: 



He governs nations, and guides Parliaments, and dire 



battle-fields. But Solomon, moreover, knew that he p 



sides over wheat fields, stables and wine-presses 1 



acknowledge that God is to be worshiped in churcl 



with prayers and psalms; but Solomon will have it tl 



he is to be praised also with threshing implements a 



gram-wagons. Reader, do you act as if you a e ree wi 



him r— A/eu> England Farmer. 



An American Boy Instructs NAPOLEON-Walkin. the 

 other day on the beach at Biarritz, his Majesty happened 



yea,s old, who too* off his hat as he passed. The Em De 

 ror courteously returned the salute, and said: 7r e ' 

 you Enghsh?" "No," answered the boy very quickly 

 and drawing himself up, « Vm Am&T[ J„ ..^^ 

 can, are you? Well tAll ™„ t.- L ' Amen ' 



South i" " w»H flu ' WhlCh are J0U for ' North or 



Ul • . We "' fath er's for the North, I believe • but T 

 am certainly for the South. For which of t» 

 Sir'-"' ti,o u r0T w nich .of themare vou, 



tated a It ,e mP r;K Str0ked "" m ° UStache > SmiI ^> hesi- 



both o hCn Sa, ' d: " l am for both." "For 



both, are you ? Well> ^ not &q ° 



*TZ , ^ T M ^^ ** convention do 

 TaX ° n - Parig C °™^™< London 8 M m i g 



The Best Time to FR E T.^o~gar^n ers had their 



ret e S d r a ;, kiMed * ^ ** ~- ° f *' h ° m ' "ft 

 fretted greatly and grumbled at h,s loss, visiting his 



» e.ghbor some time after, was astonished to see anothe 

 fine crop growing, and inquired how it could be. " These 

 are what I sowed whUe you were fretting," was the reply 

 JThy do you never fret?" "I putit off „„ j h J ^ 



Z1 n^Z 1 '"'" " Whj ' theU there ' S »« »-d to 

 tret at all. True ; that's the reason Iputit off." 



Mathematical Demonstration— The late mathema 

 can, Prof. Vince, of King's College, Cambridge, bei, 

 once engaged in a conversation with a gentleman wl 

 advocated duelling, is said to have thrown his adversa. 

 completely hors du combat by the following acute ai 

 characteristic reply to his question: "But what cou 

 You do, Sir, if a man told you to jour very face <Yc 

 lie ? " What could I do ? Why, I would'nt knock hi, 

 down, but I'd tell him to prove it-' prove it, Sir, prov 

 it, I'd say. If he could'nt, he'd be the liar, and there 

 should have him; but if he did prove that I lied I mi,« 

 e'en pocket the affront, and there I expect the' matk 

 would end." 



EPITAPH IN KIZMTJERT CHUECH-YAED. 



This stone was raised by Sarah's lord, 

 -Not barah's virtues to record— 

 For they're well known to all (he town— 

 JJut it was razs'd— to keep her dmcn. 



All the Gold in the World— Estimate the yard ol 

 gold at 2,000,000 pounds sierling-which it is in round 

 numbers-and all the gold in the world might, if melted 

 into ingots, be contained in a cellar twenty-four feet 

 square and sixteen feet high-so small is the cube of 

 yellow metal that has set population on the march, 

 and roused the whole world to wonder. 



The contributions of the people in the time of David 

 for the Sanctuary, exceeded £6,800,000. 



The gold with which Solomon overlaid the "Most Holy 

 Place"-a room only thirty feet square-amounted to 

 more than thirty-eight mil/ions sterling. 



Sheridan's R eplt to a Dun— One of Sheridan's cred- 

 itors had frequently called upon him for a small amount. 

 The bill had been so often presented to the mad wag that 

 the collector complained of its soiled and tattered state 

 and said he was ashamed of it. "I'll tell you what I'd 

 advise you to do with it, my friend," said Sheridan- 

 take it home and wrife it upon parchment." 



As the frost to the bud, and the blight to the blossom 

 even such is Self-interest to Friendship: for Confidence" 

 can not dwell where Selfishn ess is porter at the gate. 



It is with narrc-w-BouIed people as with narrow-necked 

 bottles-the less they have in them the more noise they 

 make in pouring out. 



