THE GENESEE FARMER. 



127 



Miscrlkiuoiis* 



AN ODE TO LAMB. 



[ind quarters of the type of innocence, 

 Whether with peas and mint I must dispense, 

 r go the twain — blaspheming the expense— 

 .nd thus enjoy thee in the fullest sense — 

 That is the question. 



ear section of young mutton — tender food— 

 list in the dawn of grass-fed jucy-hood — 

 ainties liiie thee should not be served up nude, 

 ut graced with all the trimmings understood. 

 To help digestion. 



hen boil the peas— the fragrant mint prepare — 

 e tbou, prime joint! not overdone— nor rare — 

 oncoct the gravy with exceeding care — 

 'hen all is ready, serve — I shall be there—- 

 I always am ! 



icipient sheep's meat— when on thee I dine, 

 ot be the plate, and icy cold the wine — 

 hree slices midway of the leg be mine— 

 len put the rest away — for very fine 

 Is cold roast lamb ! 



i AKD Wolf. — In France the Society for the Pro- 

 of Animals does not enjoy the popular respect 

 t deserves; the small wits of the capital indulging 

 3SS jokes at its expense. The last joke is to this 

 A countryman, armed with an immense club, pre- 

 imself before the President of the Society, and 

 the first prize. He is asked to describe the act of 

 ity on which he founds his claim. " I saved the 

 1 wolf," replies the countryman: "I might easily 

 lied him with this bludgeon," and ha swings his 

 in the air, to the intense discomfort of the Presi- 

 "But where was this wolf?" inquires the latter, 

 had he done to you?" "He had just devoured my 

 is the reply. The President reflects an instant, 

 2n says : " My friend, I am of opinion that you 

 ;en sufficiently rewarded." 



ATioN. — An educated man stands, as it were, in the 

 jf a boundless arsenal and magazine, filled with 

 weapons and en^^ines which man's skill has been 

 devise from the earliest time ; and he works ac- 

 ;ly with a strength borrowed from all past ages. 

 fferent is his state who stands on the outside of 

 'rehouse, and feels that its gates must be stormed, 

 lin for ever shut against him ! His means are the 

 aest and rudest : the mere work done is no mea- 

 his strength. A dwarf behind a steam-engine 

 move mountains; but no dwarf will hew them 

 vith the pickaxe; and he must be a Titan that 

 lem abroad with his arms. — C'arlyle. 



vVoxDER OP Wonders. — We rejoice in being able 

 rd the fact of a Scotchman having made a joke. 

 lie was advocating the new theory that the best 

 treat certain criminals would be to whip them, 

 \r friend from the North exclaimed: "Richt, mon, 

 dessert would be whipped creaminals. — Punch. 



ITY.— Poverty is a bully if you are afraid of it, but 

 natured enough if you meet it like a man. 



r ceases to be a " good fellow" the moment he re- 

 do precisely what other people wish him to do. 



An Apology for Ceinolinb. — Crinoline, in fact, is the 

 sensible part of an otherwise absurd dress. It is neces- 

 sary to a lady's locomotion. It keeps off the monstroua 

 dress, which, ot itself, would insuperably encumber her 

 and impede her progress, so far as to enable her to walk 

 a little. We have ascertained this fact from a rational 

 lady, obliged by the tyranny of custom to follow a fashion 

 of which she does not approve. Let not crinoline, then, 

 be any more abused as crinoline, since it subserves a pur- 

 pose of some utility, suspending the garments of the 

 softer sex, and enabling the wearer to discharge the func- 

 tions of a clothes-horse with the least possible incon- 

 venience. — Punch. 



A Pair op Spectacles. — "Madam," said the keeper at 

 the gate of Kensington Gardens, " I can not permit yon 

 to take your dog into the gardens." "Don't you see, my 

 good friend," said the lady, putting a couple of shillings 

 in the keeper's hand, "that it is a cat and not a dog!" 

 "Madam," said the keeper, instantly softening his tone 

 of voice, " I beg your pardon for my mistake. I now see 

 clearly, by the aid of the pair of spectacles which you 

 have been so good as to give me, that it is a cat, and not 

 a dog." 



TO THE SUSPENSHUN BRIDGE, NIAGARY EIYEE. 

 Anormus structur ! Whar, I'de like to know 

 Did the construckturs stand as bill this rode 

 Eite throo the air ? Say, gentle Mews, 

 Wot had they to hold on to ? But alas! 

 The Mews ses nuthin. O, Jerusalem 1 

 Wot boyed 'em up ! Imadginashun's flored— 

 Kant get the hang of it ! 



I have it now — 

 They did it in balloons ! 



Insects NEVER Grow. — Many people fancy that a little 

 fly is only little because it is young, and that it will grow 

 up in process of time to be as big as a blue-bottle. Now 

 this idea is entirely wrong; for when an insect has once 

 attained to winged state, it grows no more. All the grow- 

 ing, and most part of the eating is done in its previous 

 states of life, and indeed there are many insects, such as 

 the silk-worm moth, -which do not eat at all from the 

 time that they assume the chrysalis state to the time when 

 they die. 



•m I ■ 



Monster — I'm afraid I'm sitting on your crinoline, 

 ma'am! Affable Toung Lady — Oh, never mind, sir, it's 

 no consequence ; you can't hurt it. Monster — No, ma'am, 

 it's not that; but the confounded thing hurts me ! 



" How often do you knead bread ?" asked one house- 

 keeper of another. " How often ? Why, I might say we 

 need it continually," the other replied. 



I'm a rising young man and a capital prospect before 

 me — as Sinbad the Sailor said when he was lifted into the 

 air by the eagle. 



Wht is the Welsh language like the Maelstrom ? Be- 

 cause it is not easily sounded. 



Messages carefully delivered, as the ear-trumpet said 

 to the old maid. 



I Uush for you, as the rouge pot said to the old 

 Dowager. 



