190 



THE GENESEE FARMER. 



llisrdkiuoiis. 



QSC) 



"CHURCH BELLES." 



Coming in coui)les, 

 Smiliiicj go sweetly, 



Up ihe long aisle 

 Tripjtiug so feutly. 



Flutter of feathers, 

 Rustle of ilresses, 



Fixing of rililions. 

 Shaking of tresses. 



Envying bonnets, 



Knvying laces, 

 Noddins at neighbors, 



i'eering in faces. 



■Whispering scflly, 

 Hei-dins; no sermon, 



"What tliey go there for 

 Uard to determine. 



On all around them 

 Gazing benignly, 



"WtioUy uneiinsL-ious, 

 Singing divinely. 



Prosy discoursing 



Don't suit their whims, 

 Plain they assemble 



Just fur the '"hims!" 



Be Cheerful at youk Meals. — The benefit derived 

 from food taken depends very much upon the condition 

 of the body while eating. If taken in a moody, cross or 

 despairing condition of the mind, digestion is much less 

 perfect and slower than when taken with a cheerful dis- 

 position. Very rapid and silent eating should be avoided, 

 and some topic of interest introduced at meals that all 

 may partake in, and if a hearty laugh is occasionally in- 

 dulged in it will be all the better. It is not uncommon 

 that a person dining in pleasant and social company can 

 eat and digest well that which, when eaten alone and the 

 mind absorbed in some deep study, or brooding over cares 

 and disappointments, would be long undigested in the 

 stomach, causing disarrangement and pain, and, if much 

 indulged in, become the cause of permanent and irre- 

 parable injury to the systein. 



On one occasion Curran had tried hard to extract some 

 facts from a cunning little fellow, who had artfully 

 evaded all his skill ; but, at last, the witness, writhing 

 under the infliction, called out to the Judge : " My Lord, 

 my Lord 1 I can't answer yon wee ginlleman, he is put- 

 ting me in sich a doldrum." The Judge, who happened 

 to be an Englishman, and had never heard the word 

 "doldrum " before, instant!}' called out: "A 'doldrum,' 

 Mr. Curran— what does the man mean by a ' doldrum ?' " 

 "Oh, my Lord," replied Curran, with the utmost ijravity, 

 "it is a complaint very common wiih fellows of this 

 description ; it is a confusion of the head, arising from 

 corruption of the heart." 



Why a Dog Waggles his Tail.— Lord Dundreary tells 

 his friend the solution of this difficult riddle: "Because 

 the dog is stronger than the tail ; if he wasn't, the tail 

 would waggle the dog." 



Why Queens Govern Better than Kings.- Because 

 under Kings it is women who govern and men under 

 Queens. 



A lady at Pimlico, whose friends had arrived ' 

 pectedly, got up an impromptu dinner party, anc 

 compelled to send to the nearest pastry-cook's for 

 large tarts. All went well until the lady, wishing to 

 off by pretending not to know what was on her 

 table, unluckily pointed with an air of great digni 

 the dish of confectionery, and inquired: "John, 

 are these tarts?" Whereupon John, in the iniiocen 

 his heart, looking at the tarts in a commercial rathei 

 a culinary point of view, briskly replied: "Four 

 apiece, ma'am !" 



Unlcckt FniDAT. — A curious bit of statistics i 

 French papers illustrates the superstition of the Pari 

 It is observed that on Fridays the omnibus circnlati 

 Paris diminishes in the proportion of twenty-fiv- 

 cent., proving how strong is the superstitious avoi 

 of doing any thing that can be helped on that day. 

 also further remarked that when Friday happens t 

 on the 13th of the mouth, (which occurred twic 

 year,) the omnibus receipts decrease at the rate o 

 per cent. 



A Familiar Illustration.— A medical student, ■■ 

 examination, being asked the different effects of liei 

 cold, replied: "Heat expands and cold coutr 

 "Quite right. Can you give me an example?" ' 

 sir. In summer, which is hot, the days are longer 

 in winter, which is cold, the days are shorter" 



Montaigne, the celebrated French essayist, whose 

 style, as well as vigor of thought, has been the pra 

 good critics the world over, made his boast that he 

 used a word that could not be readily understood b.i 

 body in the Paris markets— a fact full of instructit 

 all who desire success in addressing the people. 



That was a pretty conceit of a romantic hu?ban( 

 father whose name was Rose, who named his dau 

 "Wild," so that she grew up under the appellati 

 " Wild Rose." But the romance of the name was 

 spoiled in a few years, for she married a man 1 

 name of "Bull." 



Can you read and punctuate these lines correctly, 



to write them true? 



Every scholar in this land 



lias twenty nails upon each hsnd, 



' Five and twenty on hands and feet; 



And this is true without deceit. 



A COCKNEY tourist met a Scottish la.ssie going ba 

 toward Glasgow. "Lassie," said he, "I should li 

 know if all the people in those parts go barefoot?" ' 

 on 'em do, and part on 'em mind their own busii 

 was the rather settling reply. 



A Chicago man, who had not been out of the ci 

 vears, fainted away in the pure air of Rock Praiiie 

 was only resuscitated by putting a dead ti.-h to his 

 when he slowly revived, exclaiming: "That's go( 

 smells like home." 



A sentimental young man thus feelingly expr 

 himself: "Even as Nature benevolently guards the 

 with thorns, so does she endow women with pins." 



