384 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



CAUTION TO SINGLE LADIES. 



BY T. G. FESSENDEN. 



Ne'er wed, with hopes oi managing a fool. 

 Lest you be wounded by a blunt-edg'd tool, 

 United to a simpleton, you'll find, 

 iVlly is obstinate, as well as blind. 

 Some married men, but so so, as to sense, 

 Assume hi?U airs to show their consequence. 

 I've seen full many a stupid, lordly lout, 

 With scarcely wit enough to walk about, 

 Shew desperate valor in domestic war, 

 To prove he's not the fool he's taken for. 

 Since courage is indicative of merit. 

 His fire-side skirmishes display his spirit ; 

 And china, crash'd beneath his churlish canr, 

 Evinces power as well ar right of reign ;— 

 And thus makes plain, by dint of brutal force, 

 The poet^66V, who said " a mnn-'s no horsed 

 Mroad he daree not treat the meanest man ill. 

 The tiger fawns and crouches like a spaniel ; 

 Pockets all insults, sneaks away from strife, 

 Al /tome— let's loose his fury on his wife ! 

 The tyrant thus engrafted on the brute 

 The product is most execrable fruit. 



CONSOLATION. 



A mistress I've lost, it is true ; 

 But one comfort attends my disaster. 



That, had she my mistress remain'd, 

 I could not have call'd myself master. 



EPIGRAM. 



On the Marriage of Mr. Jan. W. Honey, lo Miss Mary 

 S. Austin. 

 From sweetest flowers, the busy Bee 



Can scarce a drop of honey gather ; 

 But Oh ! how sweet a flower is she. 

 Who turns to honev altogether. 



jf^tt'sccUane. 



some other liquor to satisfy it, seems unques- 

 tionable. The following is said, by the Boston 

 Telegraph, to be a cure. There is nothing in 

 the prescription that can do any harm ; and it 

 mio-ht be adviseable for apothecaries to prepare 

 a mixture for those who want it.— Co)i. Mirror. 

 Important Invention.— Bnron Brulh Cramor, a 

 celebrated German, has found out a method ol 

 makino- the most confirmed tipler have the 

 greate'st loathing and repugnance to all sorts ol 

 spirits and strong liquor. Take one tea spoon- 

 ful of the tincture of columba, one tea spoonlul 

 of the tincture of cascarilla, one tea spoonlul ot 

 the compound tincture of gentian, a wine glass- 

 ful of the infusion of quassia, and twenty drops 

 of elixir vitriol; mix, and take twice or thrice 

 a day, and have a jug of cold wafer dashed^ over 

 the head every morning coming out of bed, and 

 (he feet bathed in warm water every night. 

 Continue this for sis or eight weeks. Dr. Kotb, 

 of Swinemunde, has succeeded with this reme- 

 dy in curing many Door creatures, both men and 

 women, who were killing themselves by conti- 

 nual tippling and drunkenness. 



Extraordinary Running.— On Tuesday last, a 

 man about thirty years of age, five feet six inches 

 high, started from Bury St. Edmunds, to run 

 against the Phenomena coach to London, and it 

 appears he performed the task in the least time, 

 beating the coach a short distance in the seventy 

 miles. "This person appears to have eslraordina- 

 ry physical powers: he returned on Wednesday 

 from London and preceded the coach on its en- 

 trance back to Bury. He picks up a few shillings 

 where he can excite atlention ; and having on- 

 ly one object in view he frequently changes his 

 coach and runs on a difTerent direction. 



A pedestrian, named Ford, completed on .Sa- 

 turday the Herculean task of walking 445 miles 

 in seven days. The match was 200 sovereigns, 

 and he won it deyerU.—Lon. Farmer's Journal. 



there was not another seat in the room, he, wit 

 his usual readiness, said, " vvilT any gentlem* 

 move that I may take the chair?''' 



Taking Testimony in Courts of Justice.— The 

 taking down testimony is so managed as to con- 

 sumelime unnecessarily in our courts. All con- 

 cerned in a cause must take down and wait for 

 all. Unnecessary matter is set down; for there 

 are seldom more than a few sentences in the 

 testimony of a witness that are material to the 

 cause. But it is to seem very bu«y in doing j 

 something for the client, where in fact nothing 

 is done that leads lo an ostentation of taking \ 

 down even where there is nothing to take. 1 

 have actually known this to take place at the 

 bar. 



Well ; what do you know of this matter ! 

 Why, in fact, 1 know but little about it. 

 Stop, stop a little, let me take that down. 

 Well ; you say you know little about the mat- 

 ter. 



Nothing at all— only — 

 Stop, stop, let rae take down what you have 

 said — 



A thing like thi^ exhausts the patience, yet it 

 is difiScult for the court to correct it. It must 

 depend upon the good sen^e of the counsel 

 themselves to select, and confine their notes to 

 what is of substance in their evidence. — Modern 

 Chivalry. 



Drunkcnnes-i. — We do not believe in specifics ; 

 but that there is, in many cases, a diseased ap- 

 petite in the stomach ^-hich demands rum, or 



Passage to India by the Mediterranean into the 

 ^ed Sca°—A numerous and respectable meeting 

 has been held in Calcutta, to discuss the feasi- 

 bility of steam communication with England 

 via Stie:. A Committee has been formed who 

 opened a subscription, and resolved to bestow 

 one lack of rupees njion the first individual or 

 company who should make two complete voy- 

 ages from England to India in steam vessels— 

 the passage in no instance lo exceed seventy 

 days, either by Hie Cape of Good Hope or the 

 I lied Sea, in vessels of British Register, and of 

 not less than 3U0 tons burden. — ibid. 



Sensibiiltij.— On Friday s'nnight as the con- 

 demned prisoners were entering the goal in this 

 town, one of them, of the name of Bradtium, con- 

 victed of burglary was thus accosted by his mo- 

 ther ;— "Well boy, what will you to be done to?" 

 " Hanged mother," replied the son. "Well," 

 rejoined the mother, " be a good boy, and don't 

 be hanged in your best clothes, but let me have 

 (hem. "l had better take your red waistcoat 

 now ;" — Bury {Eng.) Post. 



The late R. B.Sheridan being once on a Par- 

 liamentary Committee, happened to enter the 

 room when most of the members of the Com- 

 millee were present and seated, though busi- 

 ness bad not commenced; when perceiving 



The other day an emigrant from New-Yoi 

 met an old acquaintance in one of our street 

 " Hallo," said his friend, what under the su 

 has induced you to quit New-York?"—" Notl 

 ing," said the emigrant, "but her politics^ 

 thtngs have got to such a pass there, that I can 

 tell what side I belong to V— Detroit Gazette. 



The following (says the Salem Register,), 

 a true copy of an old advertisement, publish* 

 in this town: — 



Ran away from .T W , Cooper, 



B , his house plague for seven long yea| 



He that has lost will never seek her, and to U 

 that will find her I will give two bushel"*" 

 beans. 1 have hove all my old shoes out d( 

 for joy, and all my neighbors rejoice with 

 — n-ood ridance to bad ware, so amen. 



J W B , 1770, 



SAXONY SHEEP. 



On THURSDAY, Ibth of July next, at 3 oHlock, 

 M. at the Punch Bowl Tavern, near Boston, 



WILL be sold at Auction, an entire flock of Si 

 ONY SHEEP, consisting of 46 Rams, 25 M 

 and 4 Lambs, just arrived per Velocity from Bremei 



The'=e sheep were selected with great care, by a ] 

 son fully qualified for the purpose, from among ei 

 or ten thousand of the finest sheep in Saxony, and 

 presumed to be decidedly superior to, any sheep wJ 

 have heretofore been imported. The comparative 

 lue of Saxony Wool above the Spanish is well Unc 

 the small quantities which have reached this cour 

 have been eagerly bought up by the manufacture 

 fine cloths, but the duty imposed by the new tariff, 

 soon prevent further importations. 



Purchasers aie assured (hat none of the sheep wi 

 disposed of on any terms, before the above date j ' 

 may be examined any time previous to the day ol 

 at Mr. Perry's, about a quarter of mile from the f i 

 Bowl Tavefn in Brookline, on the road leading to C 

 bridge. , , , 



Catalogues will be immediately prepared and n 

 for delivery. Conditions liberal and made know. 



*'^*' "'^ ''' COOLIDGE, POOR & HEAD, AucVt 



June 19. '' 



LEAD PIPE KOH AQUEDUCTS, &c. 



THE subscribers being appointed Agents for ven 

 LORING'S IMPROVED LEAD PIPE, have 

 stantly on hand, at their Store, No. 20, Merchants' I 

 a supply of dill'erent sizes and thickness. The ma 

 in which their Pipe is manufactured renders it sup' 

 to the English or any other manufacture, and comi 

 a less price. Orders for any quantity or size wil 

 executed at the shortest noUc._^ ^^^^^^^ ^^ ^^ 



March 27. 



PATENT STEEL SPRING HAY FORKS. 



JUST rtceived and for sale at the Agricultural I 

 blishmcnt, No. 20, Merchants' Row, a large sD 

 of Goodwin's highly approved Patent Steel Spring 

 and Manure FOMKH. Also, a few dozen very sli] 

 or Rakes Cam's cast steel Scythes, Dudky's wan 

 ed steel b.ack do., Bisbee's cast steel polished Sho 

 — to»ethor with a great variety of other agricult 

 impfements. •'""'^ ' 



TERMS OF THE FARMER. 



(tj- Published every Saturday, at Three Doli 

 per annum, payable at the end of the year— but t 

 who pay within sixty days from the time of subscri 

 will be entitled to a deduction of Fifty Cents. 



0^ No paper will be discontinued (unless al 

 discretion of the publisher,) until arrearages are] 



