408 



NEW EiSfGLAND FARMEK, 



Sept. 



portion of which he inserted in the plants by mois- 

 tening with it the Iiliule of a knife, with which he 

 wounded a lihic, a horse-chesnutja corn plant, 

 and a sunflower. In sixty hours after the inflic- 

 tion of the wound, they bej2;an to manifest sym- 

 tams of poisoning, and in a few days all their 

 leaves above the wound were dead. In about fif- 

 teen days they manifested convalescence, and 

 nally all recoverd from the injury. 



For the New England Farmer. 



ESa. SLIDEWELL, OE THE THEORET- 

 ICAL FAEMER. 



Messrs Editors : — It is wonderful to contem 

 plate the great variety of organizations l>estowed 

 on man, and all for useful purposes when directed 

 by sound moral principles, and a sound judgment. 

 The advantages of difierent organizations are read- 

 ily seen, when we consider the almost endless va- 

 riety of different requirements to be supplied 

 among what we call civilized society, where mul- 

 tiplicity reigns instead of simplicity. Without 

 difierent faculties and inclinations of mind among 

 men, all would incline to pursue the same trade, 

 occupation or manner of reasoning, all would be 

 practical farmers, or all theoretical farmers, all 

 philosophers or no philosophers at all. 



It was lucky, for aught I know, that all were 

 not theoretical farmers, considering the infirmities 

 and imperfections of fallible liuman nature. Esq. 

 Slidewell was a benevolent, kind-hearted neighbor, 

 but he was not one of those whom "proud science 

 never taught to stray." I have been at a loss a 

 long time to understand how to appreciate the in- 

 structions of a theoretical farmer; some of the 

 worst practical farmers I ever saw, were the great- 

 est theorists. Esq. Slidewell went abroad and 

 taught his neighbors, in a plausible theory all 

 about farming, witli such a deep degree of inter- 

 est, that he forgot or neglected his own farm and 

 affairs at home, and from pure benevolence or 

 some other self-gratifying motive, used u]) his 

 time for the public, when the public would have 

 derived a greater l^enefit by his attending to his 

 domestic concerns in a more economical and prac- 

 tical manner. 



The Squire was an intimate acquaintance of 

 mine, he inherited a valuable estate by way of 

 relatives, he professed to bo a farmer literally : in 

 his younger days he was what was then called a 

 schoolmaster, in his more mature years he occa- 

 sionally represented his town in the State Leg- 

 islature, and frequently served as one of the select- 

 men of the town ; save these instances, he pretend- 

 ed to make farming his business for support. The 

 Squire had anumbjr of well-favored and fiit-fleshed 

 sons and daughters, who grew up with strong phys- 

 ical powers and digestive organs no way lacking 

 when restoratives were required, or suffering by 

 dyspepsia afterwards, every one being able to digest 

 his meal. His farm was expansive enough for a 

 "New England farmer," he kept cattle and other 

 domestic animals like other farmers in his neigh- 

 borhood. 



The Squire's mind was stored with a good sup- 

 ply of plausible theories, which he was not back- 

 ward in divulging to his neighbors for tJieir spe- 

 cial benefit ; when he was abroad his instructions 

 were so liberally dealt out, that time, which is 

 valued by some people, escaped his notice, and in 



doing good to others he aadly neglected the oppor- 

 tunity of attending to the things which pertained 

 to his own good. In the spring, tlie Squire was 

 so much engaged in theoretical agriculture ams 

 politics that he forgot his own fields till a late 

 hour, then he rallied his idle sons and some of hie 

 loafing neighbors and prepared his ground for seed 

 in a hurried manner ^ leiving his fences in a bad 

 state ; by the time his seeds were deposited in his 

 half-plowed land, his pi-actical neighbors were 

 weeding their fields and preparing for future oper- 

 ations. 



The heads of the family and domestics appeared 

 to live in harmony ; there was no ringing of l>ells 

 and rallying in the morning, but every one left the 

 dormitory, after sleeping to satiety, which was not 

 at an early hour ; the cows waited for their milk- 

 ers till hunger made them restless, and hj the 

 time they were milked and turned to pasture, his 

 wakeful neighbors were progressing in their field 

 labors. Some time Ijefore noon, the heads of the 

 female department struggled from the embraces of 

 Morpheus sufficiently to prepare breakfast, when 

 all hands were summoned to the table well sup- 

 plied with those "creature comforts" which min- 

 ister to the gratification of good appetites and ca- 

 pacious receptacles to receive them. After an in- 

 teresting "labor of love" for about an hour, and 

 the party having been much engaged on the sub- 

 ject before them, tlio breakfast was finished to the 

 satisflxctiou of all concerned. And then for the 

 operations of the day. 



After a heavy supply of food, no man feels the 

 speed of the "winged winds," but the Squire's 

 help got on the move before the sun arrived at a 

 vertical position, and as some folks have all sorts 

 of luck but good, the Squire's fences not having 

 been repaired in the spring, and his cattle rather 

 impatient after long fasting, thought they could 

 do a better business than licking up short gi'ass, 

 and so they experimented upon the strength of 

 the old, rotten fences, and finding them pregnable, 

 entered the field where the Squire's labor had been 

 disposed of, and at it they went, mowing and 

 reaping the Squires growing crops by premature 

 harvest, without remorse of conscience, or looking 

 back to see who was coming. Instead of working 

 in the field, the hands had to beat a cow retreat, 

 and then do what ought to have been done in the 

 spring, mend up the fences ; thus the cattle, get- 

 ting a liking to better fare, and learning the frail- 

 ty of old fences, continued their vexatious intru- 

 sions through the season. 



The Squire, dilatory in tiie extreuie, followed 

 on in the rear in all his opcratiiuis ; his fields were 

 but partially hoed, his hay was cut late and bad* 

 ly cured, and finally the remnant of corn was 

 harvested and put into a dilapidated, old leaky 

 barn, to be husked late in the fall, where it re- 

 mained to tempt the cattle to ti*y the strength of 

 "wooden walls" for something to appease gnaw- 

 ing hunger during the long nights in the fall of 

 the year after the frost-bitten feed had been all 

 devoured. It was reported, probably in truth, 

 that the Squire's cattle njade an assault upon the 

 barn and gained admittance, without a ticket, 

 and feasted upon the corn which they had pre- 

 viously tithed more severely than was allowable 

 under the old Levitical law ; and then mounted 

 the pile and took lodgings to pass *iway the frosty 

 nights of autumn. 



