No. 10. 



Pepper and Mustard. 



303 



Pepper aud Mustard. 



Human life, though a great and moment- 

 ous affair, is the sum and result of many 

 little and apparcntl_v insignificant arrange- 

 ments. Who, witliout experience, would 

 think that pepper and mustard could mate- 

 rially influence our enjoyments — could af- 

 fect, even in a moral point of view, ei- 

 ther the head or the heart 1 Yet so it is — 

 'these little tilings are great to little men.' 

 Suppose that we are set down to dinner, 

 and that we have been helped to some hot 

 and savoury soup; we take up the pepper 

 box, but find it either empty, or half filled 

 with large particles which will not pass 

 through; or if it contains a supply of good 

 pepper, the holes are so stuffed up that not 

 a particle can make its escape ; or, what is 

 Btill worse than all, the lid has been so care- 

 lessly put on, that the moment we begin to 

 use it, off it tumbles, and the whole contents 

 of the cruet fall into your plate at once. Or, 

 on the other hand, suppose we have been 

 presented with a plate of beef; the mustard 

 pot is empty, or it is partially filled with the 

 rancid remains of a former day, dirtily clog- 

 ged around the sides and top of it; or it may 

 be filled with a tasteless fluid, the result of 

 a dish of water put into the half empty ves- 

 sel before dinner. It may not even be found 

 on the table at all ; and, afler several times 

 calling for it, and during the time lost going 

 for it or searching it out, you are obliged 

 silently to eat your beef without the aid of 

 its stimulating flavour. If, on the contrary, 

 you are resolved to wait its appearance, your 

 patience and temper undergo a severe trial, 

 and your keen appetite is lost in the anxiety 

 of hope deferred, while the tedious process 

 is going through of procuring a fresh supply. 

 First of all the keys have to be found ; or, 

 it may be, the key which opens the work- 

 basket which contains the key which opens 

 the closet which contains the shelf where, 

 huddled among a dozen heterogeneous pack- 

 ages, the paper containing the mustard pow- 

 der is to be found. Then this powder, which 

 has lost more than half its pungency by being 

 kept in paper instead of a stone jar, has to 

 be hurriedly mixed up with water, and is 

 brought at last, after a world of delaj% with 

 large knots of dry powder interspersed among 

 the half liquid mass. If, under the same 

 auspices, you should dine day afler day at 

 the same table, it is ten to one but the same 

 neglects are repeated. If you should ask 

 for pickles to your beefsteak, tliey will also 

 have to be waited for in the same manner; 

 or, if on the table, they will in all probabil- 

 ity contain a metallic spoon, the action ofj 

 the acid on which producing a poisonous! 



mixture, will effectually deter you from par- 

 taking of them. In short, these little ar- 

 rangements are an index of the mind of the 

 presiding mistress. It may sometimes be 

 the fault of the servants ; but the omissions 

 of servants, unless they are incorrigible, 

 more frequently depend on the guiding spi- 

 rit of the house than on their own peculiar 

 faults. When one sees the arrangements 

 of the table perfect, even including the well 

 filled, clean, and inviting mustard pot, he 

 may be assured that all other most import- 

 ant departments of domestic management 

 are in their proper order. " My dear," says 

 Mrs. Slovenloofj "why should you vex and 

 fret yourself so about such a trifle as the 

 omission of the mustard 1 How often do 

 you tell me not to fret myself about trifles'! 

 Besides, I do not think either pepper or 

 mustard agrees with you ; and I have been 

 reading lately that too much of such things 

 is unwholesome." "Yes, too much of any 

 thing is unwholesome ; but what do you say 

 tor too little, or none at all?" "I have read, 

 my dear," retorts Mrs. Slovenloof, " that man 

 in a state of nature requires none of these 

 things; that half broiled beef or venison, of 

 which you so often complain, is devoured by 

 the savage without salt, or pepper, or any 

 thing else, and reckoned a most savoury 

 meal ; and I do think, that all the niceties 

 of cookery are very useless, and I am sure 

 they are very, very troublesome?" "The 

 savage," replies her husband, "takes his food 

 thus because his squaw knows no better; and 

 depend upon it, did she present him with a 

 well cooked and well seasoned mess, he 

 would eat it with a double relish, and thrive 

 under it too, in a way quite different from 

 what he does under his ill-cooked fare. But 

 even your instance of the savage is an un- 

 fortunate one. Your ' man of nature' is just 

 as fond of aromatics and other stimulants as 

 a civilized man. Witness his avidity for 

 salt, for aromatic and bitter roots and herbs, 

 for the intoxicating cava, for beer, for tobac- 

 co. Nay, if we stoop to the analogy of the 

 lower animals — whose appetites you will 

 allow are under the guidance of unerring 

 instinct — we shall find that they, too, are 

 equally incited by appetite to take along 

 with their food stimulants, such as salt and 

 aromatic herbs and roots." Mrs. Slovenloof, 

 however, was unwilling to be convinced. 

 There are none more fertile in evasive ex- 

 cuses than the really indolent and negli- 

 aent; and she spun out the argument for 

 about two hours afler dinner, advancing 

 however, nothing but commonplaces in sup- 

 port of her theory, till at last she uncon- 

 sciously gave it a practical deathblow, by 

 partaking freely of both tea and coffee in 



