J 84 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



DEC. r, I Si 



MISCELLANEOUS 



A Bright Dos; A while since, a gentleman 



travelling up liie Mississippi river, imd as a com- 

 panion, a remarkably fine pointer dog, who seemed 

 to possess every faculty of intelligence but that of 

 speech. Among the many tricks he perfurmed, 

 was that of carrying notes from gentlemen to ladies 

 in the cabin; and, from causes which we leave 

 philosophers to decide, that dog would, after a 

 SQielling about, lay the note in the lap of any lady 

 whose husband sent it— while if any gentleman 

 sent a note into the ladies' cabin,. who Imd no wife 

 there, the dog would bring it back. 



A young buck on board, to display his wit, sent 

 n note with hia name on it in full, into the ladies' 

 cabin, jocularly remarking to the dog, "If you are 

 so smart, give that to my wife." A shont of laugh- 

 ter was soon heard in tlie ladirs' cabin, nnd the dog, 

 contrary to expectation, returned without the note. 

 The intelligent animal had dropped it at the feet of 

 the Hack chamlcrmald ! The best of the joke was, 

 the young fop had made his attention to the said 

 chambermaid unpleasantly conspicuous to the la- 

 dies. After his exposure, he slunk away to a hid- 

 ing place.— JV. O. Pic. 



The Calais Advertiser tells the following :— We 

 met a man the other day driving an active pair of 

 young critters, and he tried to sell us his potatoes 

 after the following fashion : 



"Whoa, hush! I say, mister! you do n t want 

 to buy any of my— whoa, hush '— taters, do ye ?" 

 "Suppose we do, what's the price?" 

 " Well, they ought to be worth— whoa, hush !— 

 two-and-six, had n't they .' 



" Won't you take less, in ready cash ?" 

 "Well, seeing it's you, I'll put 'em at— whoa, 

 hush !— two shillings, 1 guess." 



" You have n't a bad pair of cattle there, friend : 

 "Crotch all bedlam, did ye ever— whoa, hush! 



what in tophet'e got into ye r" 



"Hiah feed is the difficulty." 

 " Why now, look here ! all under the light of 

 the canopy them steers get to eat is— whoa, hush ! 

 —oat straw, and that aint more'n half thrashed. 



Now if you want whoa, hush!'' ^ 



"Well it's no consequence, if the cattle wont 

 stand," said we, seeing the animals moving off. 



"Then I rather guess I 'II— whoa, hush 1"— and 

 away he went after his team, and then we dug also. 



A Sensible Young Lady.— A young lady in Mem- 

 phis, Tenn., criticising gentlemen's modes of dress 

 andfashions, says: "Moustaches are never worn 

 by men of ordinary sense. Foppish fellows alone 

 carry canes. Rings, chains and breast-pins of 

 gold never yet captivated a woman of common in- 

 tellect." That 's a sensible girl— pity there is n't 

 more of them. 



An Impudent Rascal— A fellow named Young 

 broke jail in Maryland, recently. He left behind 

 him a letter, expressing his affection for the jailer 

 and his wife, and regretting that his health would 

 not permit him to remain longer in their agreeable 

 society ! He felt himself (he said) growing un- 

 well from confinement, and tore himself away from 

 them confident that the climate of that portion of 

 the State did not agree w.tli him ! It was painful 

 for him to leave them thus abruptly, but circum- 

 stances made it advisable ! 



Irifidel mi Repelled.— A young fellow of deisti- 

 cal turn, travelling in a stage coach, forced his 

 sentiments upon the company by attempting to ri- 

 dicule the Scripture, and among other topics, made 

 himself merry with the .story of David and Goliah; 

 urging the impossibility of a youth like David be- 

 ing able to throw a stone with sufficient force to 

 sink it into a giant's forehe.vl. On this point he 

 appealed to the company, and particularly to a 

 grave old Quaker gentleman, who sat silent in one 

 corner of the carriage: "Indeed, friend," replied 

 he, " I do not think it at all improbable, if the Phi- 

 listine's head was as soft as thine !" 



Foretelling the Weather. — Sir Isaac Newton was 

 once riding'over Salisbury Plain, when a boy tend- 

 ing sheep called to him, " Sir, you had better make 

 ha'ste on, or you will get a wet jacket." Newton, 

 looking round and observing noil her clouds nor n 

 speck on the horizon, jogged on, taking very little 

 noticoof the rustic's warning. He had made but 

 a few miles, when a storm sudderdy arising, he was 

 drenched to the skin. Surprised at the circum- 

 stance, and determined, if possible, to ascertain how 

 an ignorant boy had attained a precision of knowl- 

 edge of the weather, of which the wisest philoso- 

 phers would be proud, he rode back, wet as he was. 

 ■"My lad," said Newton, "I 'H give thee a guinea 

 if thou wilt tell me how thou canst foretell the 

 weather so truly." " Will ye, sir ? I will then ;" 

 and the boy, scratching his head, and holding out 

 his hand for' the guinea: "Now, sir," said he, hav- 

 ing pocketed the money, and pointing to his sheep, 

 " when you see that black ram turn his tail towards 

 the wind, it 's a sure sign of rain within an hour !" 

 " What !" exclaimed the philosopher, " must I, in 

 order to foretell the weather, stay here and watch 

 which way that black ram turns his tail ?" " Yes, 

 sir." Off rode Newton, quite satisfied with his 

 discovery. , 



AGRICULTUKAI. IMPliEMENTS, &c 



The Proprietors of the New England Agricultural VVr 

 house and Seed Store No. 51 and 52 Norfh Marlicl sir. 

 would inform iheir customers and the public generally t 

 they have on hand the most e.-itensive assortinenl of A; 

 culluial and Horticultural Tools to he found in the Uii' 

 Stales. Part of which are the following: 

 1000 Howard's Patent Cast KIO doz. Cast feteel Sh 



Iron Ploughs. 

 300 Common do. do. 

 200 Cultivators. 

 100 Greene's Straw Cutters. 

 60 Willis' do. do. 

 100 Common do. do. 

 100 Willis' Patent Corn 



Shellers. 

 60 Common do do. 

 2u0 Willis' Seed Sowers. 

 50 " Vegetable Cutters 

 50 Common do. do. 



200 Hand Corn Mills. 



200 Grain Cradles. 



100 Ox Yokes. 

 1500 Doz- Scythe Stones. 

 3000 " Austin's Rifles. 

 March 17. 



Common 



Spades. 



Grass Scythes. 



Patent Snaiths. 



Common do. 



Hay Rakes. 



Garden ito. 



Manure Forks. 



Hay do. 

 500 Pair Trace Chains. 

 100 " Truck do. 

 100 Dralt do. 



500 Tie up do. 



50 doz. Haher do. 

 1000 yards Fence do. 

 26 Grind Stones on rollers 



MUCK. MANUAL. 



For sale by JOSEPH BRECK &, CO., The Muck Ms 

 ual for Farmers. By Dr S. L. Dana; price SI. 

 Boston, April 13. 



Military Pride.— A farmer having been elected 

 corporal of a militia company, his wife upon hear- 

 ing of his exaltation, inquired in a doubting lone, 

 "Husband, will it be proper for us to let our chil- 

 dren play with the neighbors now ?" One of the 

 little urchins eagerly asked, " Are we not all cor- 

 porals ?" "Tut!" said the mother, "hold your 

 tongue ; there is no one corporal but your father 

 and myself." 



Good Reason.— A person high in office, being 

 asked by an intimate friend, why he did not pro- 

 mote merit, aptly replied, " Because merit did not 

 promote me." 



"John, can you tell me the difference between 

 attraction of gravitation and attraction of cohesion ?" 



" Yes, sir. Attraction of gravitation pulls a 

 drunken'man to the ground, and attraction of cohe- 

 sion prevents his getting up again." A spirited 

 illustration. 



Robert Tannehill, a Scotch poet, is the author 

 of a pretty little epigram on Woman: 

 " Nature, impartial in her ends, 



When she made men the strongest, 

 III justice then to make amends, 

 Made woman's tongue the longest. 



Dr Johnson, venting hia hatred of Scotland, a 

 person reminded him that Ood made it. " Yes,'^| 

 replied the doctor, " but he made it for Scotchmen. 



GREEN'S PATENT STRAW CUTTER. 



in=;r.PH BRECK & CO. at the New England Agrici 

 tufal Soure and Seed Store ,^'-- ^'„ -''f^^f ^'i' "■; 

 ket Street, have for sale, Green's Patent Straw, Hay ai 

 Stalk Cut er, operating on a mechanical principle not befo 

 applied to aay implement for this purpose. The most pro, 

 fnent effects of this application, and some of the consequc 

 peculiarities of the machine are : 



1 So "real a reduction of the quantum of power reqms 

 to use itrthat the strength of a half grown toy is suthcie 

 to work it efficiently. 



2 With even this moderate power, it easily cuts two buf 

 els a minute, which is full twice as fast as has been clam, 

 hy any other machine even when worked by horse or siei 

 power. , . , , 



3 The knives, owing to the peculiar manner m which tli 

 cut, require sharpening less often than those o( any oil 

 straw cutter. 



4 The machine is simple in its construction, made and | 

 together very strongly. It is therefore not so liable as I 

 complicated machines m gene ral use to get out ol order. 



TYE UP CHAINS. 



Just received by 500 t;hain5 for lyeing up Cattle 

 These chains, introduced by E. H. Derby, Esq. of Sale 

 and Col. Jacques, for the purpose of securing cattle to t 

 stall are found Ic he the safest and most convenient mo 

 of fa'stenin" cows and oxen to the stanchion. 



For sale by JOSEPH BRECK & CO., No. 52 No. 

 Market st. 



DRAFT AND TRACE CHAINS. 



400 pair Trace Chains, suitable for Ploughing. 

 200 " Truck and leading Chains. 

 200 " Draft Chains. For sale by J. BRECK & C( 

 No. 52 North Market st. 



LACTOMETERS— a simple instrument for testi 

 the quality of milk. For sale by J. BRECK & CO. 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



A WEEKLY PAPER. 



Terms, $2 per year in advance, ot$i 50 if not p« 

 within thirty days. . , , , r i 



N. B.— Postmasters are permitted by law to Irank 

 subscriptions and remittances for newspapers, willic 

 expense to subscribers. ^ 



TUTTLE AKD DENNETT, PRINTERS. 



