288 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER, 



MAKCH g, 1843, 



MISCELLANEOUS. 



OH TAKE THE MADD'NING BOWL AWAY. 



Oh take the madd'ning bowl away, 



Remove the pois'nous cup ; 

 My soul is sick — its burning ray 



Has drunk nay spirits up. 

 Take, take it from my loathing lip, 



Ere madness fire my brain ! 

 Take, take it hence, nor let me sip 



Its liquid death again. 



Oh dash it on the thirsty earth, 



For I will drink no more ; 

 It cannot cheer tlib heart "ith mirth 



That grief hath wounded sore; 

 For serpents wreathe its sparkhng brim, 



And adders lurk below ; 

 It hath no soothing charm for him 



Who sinks oppress'd with wo. 



Say not, " Behold its ruddy hue — 



Oh, press it to thy lips !" 

 For 'tis more deadly than the dew 



That from the Upas drips ; 

 It is more pois'nous than the stream 



Which deadly nightshade laves ; 

 "Its joys are transient as the beam 



That lights its ruddy waves. 



Say not, " It hath a powerful spell 



To soothe the soul of Care" — 

 Say not, " It calms the bosom's swell 



And drives away despair !" 

 Art thou its vot'ry ? Ask thy soul — 



Thy soul in misery deep — 

 Yea, ask thy conscience, if the bowl 



Can give refreshing sleep .' 



Then hence ! away, thou deadly foe, 



I scorn thy fell control ! 

 Away, away ! I fear thy blow, 



Thou palsy of the soul ! 

 Henceforth I drink no more of thee, 



'J hou bane of Adam's race ; 

 But to a heavenly fountain flee. 



And drink the dews of grace. 



IVashinsrtonian SorJSsCer. 



proaching our hero, he said, with a serious counte- 

 nance — 



"Can I do any thing for you, Mr on this 



awful occasion ?" 



" Yes," replied the young officer, without chang- 

 ing a muscle, " won't you be so good as to turn 

 down my shirt collar ?" 



Fortunately, the friirnte escaped — but the "turn 

 down my collar" of '■ Pelliam," was a standing ex- 

 pression among hi.s messmates Bee. 



The late Mr Grizzle. — A very worthy fisherman 

 by the name of Grizzle, was drowned some time 

 since, and all search for his body proved unavailing. 

 AfXBT it had been in the water some months, how- 

 ever, it was discovered upon the surface, and taken 

 to the shore, whereupon Mr Smith was despatched 

 to convey the intelligence to the afflicted widow. 



Mr Smith. — Well, Mrs Grizzle, we have found 

 Mr Grizzle's body. 



Mrs Grizzle. — You do n't say so ! 



Mr S — Yes, we have — the jury sot on it, and 

 found it full of eels. 



Mrs O. — You don't say Mr Grizzle's body is 

 full of eels ? 



Mr a. — Yes it is, and we want to know what 

 you will have done with it? 



Mrs G Why, how many eels should you think 



there is in him.' 



Mr S. — Why, about a bushel. 



Mrs G. — Well, then, I think you had better send 

 the eels up to the house, and set him again ! — 

 Bost. Post. 



Taking it Coolly- — It is said of a certain young 

 lieutenant of the United States Navy, who some 

 ten years ago Avas a past midshipman, that while 

 the Constitution frigate, to which he belonged, was 

 lying-to at one of the Azores, a heavy gale came 

 on. The ship was drifting towards a rock-bound 

 coast, where she would inevitably go to pieces. 

 All was consternation on board, and the probabili- 

 ty was, if she went ashore, not a dozen souls would 

 be saved. This young officer, whether on shore or 

 at sea, was peculiarly neat in his drcsa — rather 

 foppishly so ; and he had acquired, by this pecu- 

 liarity, the title of the "Pclham" of the Navy. 

 During the gale, his station was on the gun-deck 

 forward, superintending the paying out of a chain 

 cable, as the ship kept dragging, and, in some way, 

 his kid gloves got dirty. It should be remarked, 

 that with all his foppishness, he was an able, cool, 

 and determined young officer. During the 'height 

 of the gale, the chaplain went round the ship, pray- 

 ing here and there for blessings on those who were 

 about to take the great leap into eternity. Ap- 



GHEEN'S PATENT STRAW CUTTER. 



JOSEPH BRECK & CO. at Ihe New England Ai?ric\l) 

 tural Warehouse and Seed Store Nns. 51 and 02 North Mar 

 kel Street, have for sale, Green's Patent Str.iw, Hay am 

 Stalk Cutter, operating on a mechanical principle not hehm 

 applied to any implement for this purpose. The most prom 

 inent effects of tins application, and some of the coiisequen 

 peculiarities of the machine are : 



I So "reat a reduction of the quantum of power requisiti 

 to use it,°that the strength of a halt grown hoy is sufficieu 

 to work it efficiently. 



2. With even this moderate power, it easily cuts two husti- 

 els a minute, which is full twice as fasi as has hcca claimci 

 hy any other machine even when worked by horse or stean 

 power. 



3. TheUnives,i)wing to the peculiarmanner in which thai 

 cut, require sharpening less often than those ol any olhe 

 straw cutler. 



4. The machine is simple in its construction, made and pu 

 together very strongly. It is therefore not so liable as lh« 

 complicated machines in general use to get out of order. 



JInecdole of Daniel Webster. — During one of the 

 college vacations, he and his brother returned to 

 their home, in Salisbury, N. H. Their father was 

 a working farmer, and it was haying time. Think- 

 ing he had a right to some return for the money he 

 had expended in their education, the father put 

 scythes into their hands one day, and ordered them 

 to mow, Daniel made a few sweeps, and then 

 resting his scythe, wiped the sweat from his brow. 

 Ilis father said, " What's the matter, Dan ?" " My 

 scythe does n't hang right," he answered. His 

 father fi."(ed it, and Dan went to work again, but 

 with no better success. Something was the mat- 

 ter with his scythe, and it .was not long before it 

 wanted fixing again ; and the father said, in a pet, 

 "Well, hang it to suit yourself." Daniel, with 

 great composure, hung it on the next tree, and put- 

 ting on a gr.ive countenance, said, " It hangs very 

 well now — 1 'm perfectly satisfied. 



One of the happiest anagrams in any language, 

 is that which has been made from Pilate's question 

 to our Saviour: " Q^uid est Veritas?" (What is 

 truth?) These three words make the following 

 anagramiTiatic sentence : J^st vir qui ndest. (The 

 man whom you see before you.) 



Perject. — A celebrated preacher having remark- 

 ed in a sermon, thnl every thing made by God was 

 perfect, "What think you of me ?" said a deformed 

 man in a pew beneath, who arose from his seat, 

 and pointed at his own back. "Think of you-'" 

 reiterated the preacher, " why, that you are the 

 most perfed hunchback my eyes ever beheld." 



Revenge is a much more punctual paymaster 

 than gratitude. — Lacon. 



WILMS'S LATEST IMPROVED VEGETABLE 

 ClITTKR. 



This machine surpasses nil others for the purpose of cut- 

 ting Rata Baga. Mangel Wurlzel, and oihcr roots. The 

 great ohjection to other machines, is iheir cutting the roots 

 into slices, which makes it almost impossible for the cattle 

 to get hold of them : this machine wilh a little alteration, 

 cuts them into large or small pieces, of such shape as is 

 most convenient fi»r ihe cattle to eat. It will cut with ease 

 from one to two hushels of roots per minute. -For sale hy 

 J. BKECK <k CO., Nos. 51 and 52 North Market st. 



TYF, I'P CHAINS. 



Just received by 600 Chains for tyeing up Cattle. 



These chains, iutroduceel hy E. H. Derby, Esq. of Salen 

 and Col. Jacues, lor the piirpi>se of securing cattle to the 

 stall, are found to he the safest and most convenient nx 

 of fastening cows and oxen to the stanchion. 



For sale by JOSEPH BRECK & CO., No. 62 North 

 Market st. 



DRAFT AND TRACE CHAINS. 



400 pair Trace Chains, suitable for Ploughing. 

 200 " Truck and leading Chains. 

 200 " Draft Chains. For sale Ly J. BRECK & CO., 

 No. 52 North Market St. 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



A WEKKIT PAPER. 



Terms, $2 per year in advance, orf2 50 if not paid 

 within thirty days. 



N. B. — Postmasters ore permitted by law to frank all 

 enbacriptions and remittances for newspapers, without 

 expense to subscribers. 



TUTTLB AND DENNETT. PRINTERS. 



