200 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER, 



Jan. 7, 1831. 



MI SC E LL AN Y. 



THE carrier's ADDRESS 



TO HIS PATRONS. 



Again the knell of parting Time 

 Demands our bulletin sublime, 

 Descriptive of hi? general movements, 

 Backslidings, whim whams and improvements ; — 

 Which notes each notable affair 

 'T is tit oblivion should spare, 

 And we preserve in peerless pages, 

 For benefiting future ages. 



Though true it is, the recent year 

 Was fair as most which time's career. 

 In our untoward clime evolves, 

 Some malecontents have passed resolves 

 That they in fact have suffer'd more 

 Than ever martyrs did before — 

 That Job's afflictions, wife, and all. 

 Would less their fortitude appal. 

 Than ills assailing them, by reason 

 Of last year's unpropitious season : — 

 That insects, blight, cold storms and frost, 

 Made farmer's work all labor lost. 

 And them as needy as a mouse. 

 Whose domicil 's a meetinghouse. 

 Such as were built in days of yore. 

 Its basement story not a store. 

 But this is folly's zenith sure, 

 This life, although no sinecure, 

 Presents no pretext to repine. 

 And n~an's by no means made to whine. 

 Or criminate his great Creator, 

 For ills which wait on human nature ; 

 Though certain of the rhyming race, 

 Enforce the doctrine bold and base. 

 That man fulfils by lamentation 

 The duties of his destination, 

 The world in which we 're doing penance, 

 Is well adapted to its tenants. 



Drizzling and driving storms, 'tis true, 

 Make farmers look a little blue. 

 And blight and canker worm's attack 

 May deepen azure sprites to black ; 

 But these and other ills are sent, 

 Undoubtedly with kind intent. 

 To indicate the great alloys 

 Of transient sublunary joys, 

 Lest erring mortals hold too dear 

 Their fugitive existence here — 

 Should not correctly estimate 

 The blessings of that happy state, 

 Where nothing evil can intrude 

 To mar supreme beatitude. 



Kind heaven decrees that every one 

 Life's evitable ills should shun. 

 By doing all that mortals can do ; 

 Then all that men can do let man do. 

 To adverse fortune do not yield. 

 Erect or prostrate keep the field. 

 Ne"er set with folded hands, like drones, 

 And weary Providence with moans, 

 Bht put each nerve in requisition 

 'To meliorate your sad condition. 



This year may not exactly suit 

 Your grapes, but ripens other fruit — 

 •The squash and melon, lacking heat. 

 Are not preeminently sweet ; 

 But products of still greater use. 

 Are most remarkably profuse ; 

 Potatoes, corn, and English grain 

 Are moro than middling in the main ; 

 Pastures are good, and grass turns out 

 Beyond anticipation, stout. 

 Then, Mr Growlaway, 't is meet 

 You t''ke the bitter with the sweet. 

 SBiall Providence make you its pet .' 

 Is the Great Donor much in debt 

 To worthless worms, for aye complaining, 

 And his supreme decrees arraigning .' 

 '•Be thankful, then, 'tis all you can. 

 And justify God's ways to man. 



Much good 's effected by the alliance 

 Of patience, industry, and science ; 

 And small annoyances no doubt 

 Great benefits may bring about. 

 Take this example, if you please — 



Insects assail my apple trees, 



And 1, by way of counteraction. 



Wash, prune, manure them to a fraction, 



Am forced to till them so much better 



That I become said insects' debtor. 



Convei-ted to the best of tillers 



T' accommodate my catei'pillars, 



I treat Ihem with profuse ablutions 



Of saponaceous solutions. 



Which double purposes insure, 



Destroy the worms and make manure. 



Therefore, if truth were always shown, 



I should my obligations own, 



Obeisance make to bugs and worms. 



And thank the plagues in polish'd terms — 



Say to Curculiones tru- 



Ly I anr much in debt to you — 



You bade me gather wind-fall'n fruit, 



(Good Husbandi-y beyond dispute) 



And boil il up (o feed my swine. 



And now few orchards equal mine. 



Vexatious lessons, it is true. 



Are taught by monitors like you, 



But usefiil ones, and .such as I 



For one intend to profit by. 



We hope that all the insect race 

 Our entomnlogists will trace, 

 Detecting each throughout the changes 

 Its multiform existence ranges — 

 Tell fiirmers how they may come at them, 

 Sans being forced to feed and fat them. 

 Until the throngs of Egypt's curses 

 Exhaust their patience, barns, and purses, — 

 Till every tiny depredator. 

 Not licen.<;ed by the Legislature, 

 To occupy some privileged quarters, 

 (Like fishes bred in certain waters) 

 Will be as much at man's control 

 As pullets roosting on a pole. 

 With no more chance t' escape us than 

 An eel that 's safe in frying pan — 

 And thus eflfpct th' annihilafion 

 Of petty imps of desolation. 

 Tiny, but ten-ible marauder's. 

 That spread destruction through our borders. 



We thank our horticuUural friends 

 For worthy me.ins to noble ends; 

 They should be crown'd with chaplets fair 

 As art can wreath, or merit wear ; 

 Patriots should prize those labors, which 

 Not only honor, but enrich. 

 Disseminate with liber'al hand 

 Substantial blessings through the land. 

 And we ourselves have labor'd hard. 

 By doing good to win r-egard ; 

 By mental efforts have essay'd 

 To match the energies display'd 

 By this improved impi'oving age, 

 When every man may be a sage. 

 The light which science yields is given 

 Diffusive as the light of heaven, — 

 When learning's intellectual blaze 

 Spreads wide o'er earth as solar rays, 

 And wisdom pr-omenades our streets 

 To lecture evei'y one she meets. 



But now, may 't please your worship, I 'm 

 About to close my rill of ihyme. 

 By wishing you, through life's career. 

 All that can make you happy here. 

 And in the wor-ld succeeding this, 

 A whole etei-nity of bliss. 



January, 1, 1831. 



MARRIAGE. 



It is needless to caution you ao;ainst the desperate 

 imprudence of falling in love with a lady who is poor 

 in everythinsf hut merit. Nobody commits such a 

 folly now-a-days, since the prodigious advances made 

 by the spirit of the age. Formerly, when ' Adam del- 

 ved, and Eve spun,' poor people might marry without 

 coming upon the parish. But it would be the extreme 

 climax of folly to do it now, when it is impossible to 

 fit out a wife for a walk under a stun that, in those 

 miserable days, would have purchased independence 

 for life. Women of decency never spin anything 

 now, but street-yarn ; an article which has the fash- 

 ionable requisite to recoromend it, being entirely use- 

 less. — Paulding. 



The following letter has been read in Congress an 

 referred to the Committee on Agriculture. 



' Philadelphia, Dec. 7lh, 1830. 



Sir : You will receive with this letter a silken fla^. 

 bear-ing the colors of the United Slates. This flag i 

 made entirely of American silk, reeled from the cocoon; 

 prepared and woven by Mr John D'Homergue, silk mac 

 ufacturer. The coloring has been done by the best ai 

 list he could procure in the city of Philadelphia, he hin; 

 self not professing to be a dyei'. 



The staff of this flag with the eagle measures aboi 

 fifteen feet ; the flag itself is twelve feet and a half long 

 and six feet wide. It is woven all in one piece, witlroi 

 a seam. 



I beg, sir, you will be so good as to pr-esent this flag 

 most respectfully, in my name, to the honorable Hous 

 over which you preside, as a sample of American indu£ 

 try, thus applied for the first time, to the most valuabl 

 of American productions ; and as a result of the efforl (' 

 they have made during the last five years, for th 

 promotion of the important branch of agriculture, I 

 which we owe the ricn uiatei'ial of which this flag i 

 co'nposed. 



I have the honor to be, with the highest respect, sh 

 your most obedient and most humble servant, 



PETER S. DUPONCEAU. 



Hon. Andrew Stevekson. 



Militia Titles. — Our repiihlican love of titles ha 

 long been a standing jest with foreigners ; and w 

 are glad to find them going into disuse, except oi 

 public occasions. An American, who was presentei 

 to Napoleon, was foolish enough to be announced a 

 Gtntral, in virtue of his militia honors. ' Generc 

 of what.'' inquired the Emperor. ' Of soldiers, sire 

 ' But, are you General of cavalry, artillery, or infant 

 ry .'' 'Of all, sire.' Napoleon shrugged his shoul 

 ders, 'You must be a great General, then,' said he. 



A Boston Alderman used to say, ' I once made 

 bet with a travelling companion, that the landlord o 

 a tavern we were approaching was a militia office) 

 although I did not know Irim from Adam. My com 

 panion accepted the bet ; and I hailed the landlorc 

 with ' How d'ye do. Colonel ?' You've got the uppei 

 hand of me. Squire; replied he; but nevermind- 

 walk in. I'm going to have my rigiinent here t 

 muster to morrow. Happy to have you stay and se 

 'em.' 



Tavern-keepers certainly have very strong claim 

 for militia offices ; and we apprehend the Alderma; 

 would have been safe in making such a bet ninetj 

 nine times out of a hundred. — .Mass. Jour, and Trii 



JfTio reads an American book ? — The Frenc 

 Chambers being engaged in revising the Crimina 

 Lap's of that country,have adopted Livingston's Cri 

 minal Code for Louisiana, as a basis of the proposei 

 system. 



To play the fool and marry for love, is to marrj lif 

 Melita, a pretty, young, virtuous and prudent vvomail ij 

 of a frugal temper, and who has a kindness for you^ ^ 

 but less money than JEgina, who is offered you with 

 an extraordinary good portion,and extraordinary good 

 qualifications to squander it all away, and your own 

 along with \\..—La Bruycre. 



Published every Friday, at ^3 per arrnum, payable at thi *i 

 endof the year-but those who pay within sixty days from thl p 

 tiirre of subscribing, are entitled to a deduction ofiifLy cents' 



03= No paper will be sent to a distance without paymen 

 beiirg made in advance. 



Printed for J. B. Russell, by I. R. Butts — by whom 

 all descriptions of Printing can be executed to meet thtt lit 

 wishes of customers. Orders for printing received by J. Bl 

 Russell, at the Agricultural Warehouse, No. 32 NorflU 

 Market t-tieet. 



AGENTS. 



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Philadelphia- \). & C. Landketh,85 CIreslnul-slrect. 



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F/usliing, N. Y. Wm. Prince & SoNs,Pi'op.Lia. Bol.GardM 



Harl/ord—GoomYia &,Sotis. ' 



Neivburyport. Ebenezer Stedman, Bookseller. " 



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HaliJu.r,N. S.— P. J. Hulla.n'D, Esq. Recprder Office. 



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St 



