296 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



March 30, 1831. 



MISCEL.L1ANY. 



From Hood'a Comic Annual for 1831. 



I'M NOT A SINGLE MAN. 

 Well, I confess, I did not guess 



A simple nianiage vow 

 Would make me lind all womenkind 



Such unkind women now ! 

 They need not, sure, as distant be 



As Java or Japan, — 

 Yet ev'ry Miss reminds me this — 



I'm not a single man! 



One used to stitch a collar then, 



Another hemmed a IVill ; 

 I had more purses netted then 



Than I could hope to till. 

 I once could get a button on. 



But now I never can, — 

 My buttons then wei e bachelor's — 



I'm not a single man ! 



Ah me, how strange it is the change, 



In parlor and in hall. 

 They treat me so, if I but go 



To make a morning call. 

 If they had halt in papers once. 



Bolt up the stairs they ran; 

 They now sit still in dishabille — 



I'm not a single man ! 



Jliss Mary Bond was once so fond 



Of Romans and of Greeks, 

 She daily sought my Cabinet, 



To study my antiques. 

 Well, now she doesn't care a dump 



For ancient pot or pan ; 

 Her taste at once is modernized — 



I'm not a single man ! 



Go where I will, I but intrude, 



I'm left in crowded rooms. 

 Like Zimmerman on Solitude, 



Or Hervey at his Tombs. 

 From head to heel they make me feel. 



Of quite another clan ; 

 Con.pcird to own though left alone, 



I'm not a single man ! 



'Tis hard to see how others fare. 



Whilst I rejected stand, — 

 Will no one take my arm because 



They cannot have my hand r 

 Miss Parry, that for some would go 



A trip to Hindustan, 

 With me don't caie to mount a stair — 



I'm ii&t a single man ! 



Some change, of course, should be in force. 



But, surely not so much — 

 There may be hands I may not squeez 



15ut must I never touch ? 

 Must I forbear to hand a chair, 



And not pick up a fan ? 

 But I have been myself pick'd up — 



I'm not a single man ! 



Others may hint a lady's tint 



Is purest red and white — 

 May say her eyes are like the skies. 



So very blue and bright, — 

 I must not say lh.it she has eyes, 



Or if I so began, 

 I have my fears about my ears, — 



I'm not a single man ! 



General Happ's Fidelity. — On the day when the 

 news of the decease of the e.\-Emperor reached the 

 Tuileries, Louis X VIII. was surrounded by a. brilliant 

 Court, all of whom, with the e.\ception of one man, 

 received the intelligence with the most unequivocal 

 signs of delight. This man was General Rapp, who 

 burst into tears. The king perceived and noticed 

 it. ' Yes, Sire,' answered the General, ' I do weep 

 for Napoleon ; and you will excuse it, for to him I 

 owe eveiything in the world, even the honor of now 

 serving your Majessty, since it was he tliat made me 

 what I am.' The king, in an elevated tone of voice, 

 replied, 'General, I do but esteem you the more. A 

 fidelity which thus survives misfortune, proves to 

 me how securely I may depend on you myself.' 



In the Rutland Herald is a story that a 'Bay State 

 Yankee' smuggled a lot of goods from Canada, safe-j 

 ly, by driving by the Custom House at full speed, at 

 night, and when chased by the officer, after going 

 two nules, turning and meeting him. The officer 

 asked if he had seen a man with a load of goods; 

 he replied he had, half a mile behind him ; and when 

 the officer was going one way, the smuggler turned 

 upon another road, and journeyed at his ease. 



Farm for Sale. 

 A fine opportunity to any person wishing to make iml? 

 provemenis in farming is presented, by the offer for saU 

 of one »f the best Farms for this purpose in the State ; sitj.-i 

 uaied 9 nules frojn this city. A large part of the land ; ^ 

 alluvial soil, may be easily kept drained, and made ex ' 

 ctedingly productive. A further description may be seeji 

 alibis office. 3t March 16. 



An Ancient Feoffment. — There is a singular his- 

 torical fact connected with Sutton, in Bedfordshire, 

 The valuable manors, advowsons, etc, etc, etc, of 

 Sutton, and the contiguous and populous parish 

 (Potton) were conveyed by a deed of gift to Sir Ro- 

 ger Burgoyne, by the famous John of Gaunt, Duke 

 of Lancaster, as a reward for the valor of that war- 

 like knight : and tlie e.xtensive and valuable domain 

 has, notwithstanding many intervening revolutions, 

 remained vested in 'the heirs of his loin' down to 

 the present day. The deed of conveyance vi^as 

 made in the following laconic manner: 



I, John of Gaunt, 



Do give and grant. 



Unto Roger Burgoyne, 



And the heirs 'of bis loin. 



Both Sutton and Potton, 



Until Ihe world 's rotten. 



eyro.n's epigrams. 

 ' One,' he says, ' 1 wrote for the endorsement of 

 the "Deed of Separation" in I81G; but the lawyers 

 objected to it as superfluous. It was written as we 

 were getting up the signing and sealing. *** has 

 tlie original. 



Endorsement to the Deed of Separation in Ihe April 

 of 1816. 

 A year ago you swore, fond she ! 



' To love, to honor,' and so lorlh : 

 Such was the vow you pledged to me. 

 And here's exactly what 'tis worth. 

 For the anniversary of January 2, 18'21, I have a 

 small grateful anticipation, which, in case of acci- 

 dent, I add — 



To Penelope, January 2d, 1821. 

 This day, of all our days, has done 



The worst for me and you ; 

 'T is just six years since we were one. 

 And five since we were two. ^ 



An Indignity. — A medical man who has just re- 

 turned from setting the broken leg of an Arab, gave 

 the following anecdote: — 'Tlie patient,' said the 

 doctor, 'complained more of the accident which had 

 befallen him than I thought becoming one of his 

 tribe. This I remarked to liitn, and his answer was 

 truly anmsing. "Do not think, doctor, I should have 

 uttered one word of complaint if my own high bred 

 colt, in a playful kieK, had broke both my legs ; but 

 to have a bone broken by a brute of a jackass, is too 

 bad, and I will complain." '—.S'/ie/c/ie« of Persia. 



Tlie wrong Leg.— Di Thomas (Bishop of Salisbu- 

 ry) forgot the day he was to be married, and was 

 surprised at his servants bringing him a new dress. 

 A gnat stinging him in the leg, the doctor stooped 

 and scratched the leg of a gentleman who stood ne.n 

 to him. 



Valuable and Cheap Land — for Sale. 



The subscriber offers for sale, 14,000 acres of choici 

 Land, situated in ihe town of Pinckney, county of Le 

 and slate of New York. Some ot the land is iiiipro™lJl! 

 and under cultivation. The country is remarkably heHjA! 

 tAq, being enlireiy free from the fever and ague and fri 

 the common bilious fevers which often afliict the lowS' 

 upon Lake Ontario, this town being 18 miles east of th( 

 lake. The soil is principally a sandy loam, much of i 

 covered with rich black mould. The timber is chiel 

 Sugar Maple, Black Ash, Butternut, Beech, Elm, 

 The land yields first rale crops of Grass, Rye, Oats,Bi 

 ley, Potatoes and Flax ; and on some lots, good Whel 

 and Corn may be grown. To those wishing to obi 

 peiior grazing farms, a fine opportunity now offeis ilseUiy 

 The produce of pasturage and hay fiom an acre of t* * 

 l.uid, is very large, fully equalling if not surpassing tl 

 tiom the same quantity of land in any other of the Bli 

 River townships. The land is admirably well waleri 

 there being but few lots which have not durable runnin| 

 streams upon them. The land is well adapted to Orchard, 

 ine — the Apple tree thriving very well in this county 

 Slock of all kinds may be disposed of with the least possf 

 ble trouble, and to the greatest advantage, the droveis 

 purchasing at Ihe very doors of the farmers, and paying 

 the highest cash prices for their cattle, which will rcadfl 

 find purchasers at all seasons of the year. Several ^| 

 rners at present residing on this town, were origin^B 

 from the New England Sirtles, and some of them from* 

 Massachusetts, who are in thriving circumstances. Th* 

 above described land is offered for sale at the very loB 

 price of from two dollars and a half to three dollars pel 

 acre, lor the uncleared land, and from three dollars and! 

 half to five dollars and a half for the improved lots. Thi 

 land will be sold in lots to suit purchasers, and fiom twc 

 to five years' credit for payment, in annual instalniente. 

 will be given. Asa further convenience to |)ur(liaser!, 

 the subscriber will receive in payment, Catlk', .'•dieep, 

 Pcrfc, Grain or Grass Seed, for which products ho will 

 allow the highest cash prices. The title to the landi 

 indisputable, and good Warranty Deeds will be given tl 

 purchaseis. Persons desirous of pui chasing will pleast 

 to apply to the subscriber, at Henderson Harbor, countj 

 of Jefferson, State of New Vork, or to D.wid Can field 

 Esq. on the town. JAMES H. HENDERSON. 



March 9. epl6t 



Ammunilion ^£0 ' 



Ot the hest quality and /owe.sf ^n'/ccs, for sportinsf— 



ronstaiilly for sale at COPELAND^S POWDER STORE, 



65 Broad Street. 



N. 13. If the quality is not found satisfactory, it may 



be returned, and the money will be refunded, tf Jan. 7. 



■ — T 



Farm to be let on Halves. 

 About 30 acres of good land, with house, barn, frilil 

 trees, &.c, situated in Roxbury, near the city. Apply »l 

 this office. MarchB. 



Published every Wednesday Evening, at $S per ann 

 payable at the end of the year— but those who pay within 

 sixty days from the time of subscribing, are entitled to ad»- 

 duction of fifty cents. 



[O^ l^'o paper will be sent to a distance without paymnl 

 being made in advance. 



Printed for J. B. Russell, by I. R, Butts— by whom 

 all descriptions of Printing can be executed to meet tht 

 wishes of customers. Orders for printing received by J. B. 

 Russell, at the Agricultural Warehouse, No. 02 Notft 

 Market Street. 



AGENTS. 



.Vcw I'di'/f— G.Thorburn & SoNS,67Liherlv-slrcet 



Philadeljihia- ^). & C Lanpheth. S5 Cheslnul-slreet. 



Bihimore—G. B. Smith, Editor ofihe Ameiicnn Farmer. 



Ciiicinnali—ii. C. Pahkhurst, 23 Lower Markel-slreel. 



A'.baiKi — Htu.Jksse Buel, A Itiany Nursery. 



Flmkiiiz. N. Y. \Vm. Prince & Sons, I'rop.Lia.Bot.Gnrdci 



Ilirironl—GoinmiN &Co. Booksellers. 



NfwbuTijport. Ebenezer Stedman, Bookseller. 



Portsmouth. N. H. J. W. Foster, Bookseller. 



Portland, Alt. — S\muel Colman, Bookseller. 



Jlwusta, Me. Wm. Mann. 



Halifax, N. S.— P. J. Holland, Esq. Recorder Office. 



Montreal, L. C. — A. Bowman, Bookseller 



