312 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Ajiril 13, 1831. 



MISCELliANY. 



From the Massachuselis Journal and Tribune. 



MRS. HOOD'S REPLY 



TO MR hood's lamentation, 'I'm not a single man' 



* CALrsAN.— You tauglii me l;inguage, and my profit on't 

 Is I know liow lo - I'un. '-Tempest. 



I WILL not fiet, Ihougli you i-egret 



You made ine youf's for life ; 

 But yet I find that all the beaux 



Remember I'm a wile. 

 Your winks and wiles, and wreathed smiles 



From them have set me free, 

 But your winks, ala«, good Mr Hood, 



Have fairly Hood-winked me. 



You 've changed my name, but I'm the same 



In face and disposition. 

 But at the altar to my cost 



I altered my condition. 

 To catch my eye, beaux once would fly 



Where'er they knew it shone, 

 To watch it's beams — but now it seems 



A beam is in their own. 



I at tlie pallor windows sit 



To catch them unawares, 

 But they wont even stare at one 



Who is not above stnirs. 

 My lovers trembled when they sung 



' Of Love, that weeps and wakes,' 

 Their tremors all have ceased, and I 



Now find them «y greaf shakes. 



My veteran beau, old Mr Stubbs, 



Though bald, in riiyme would caper ; 

 Both curls and wit o'er night for me 



Committed were to paper. 

 My reign is o'er, and him no more 



Do wigs or rhymes employ ; 

 He's now abandon'd the old scratch. 



And looks like the Old Boy. 



With billetdoux of every hue. 



By seals with quaint expressions, 

 Beaux strove both on the wax and me 



At once lo make impressions. 

 But their epistles come no more 



The tale of love to tell; 

 Their letters now I know dre joined 



For another sylla-bclle. 



Bouquets once came the ardent fiame 



Of Lovers to disclose, 

 And many a tender line was sent 



All underneath the rose. 

 But verse inclosed in roses now 



Appears not, though I ask it ; 

 And all the tender lines I get 



Come in a market basket. 



The fate of both of us is hard, 



Which hardest, none can tell — 

 I can no longer tie a beau, 



You cannot ring a belle. 

 But still I do not like to hear 



Forever from your lip, 

 That fi'om the hour you got a rib. 



You've always had the hyp. 



You can't imagine, Mr Hood, 



That when the knot was tied 

 Your heart was licensed, like the mail, 



To carry six inside. 

 Nor wonder yet the lair forget 



The claims you bring to view. 

 The reason's plain they cannot see 



A likely-Hood in you. 



To me your dame, you are the same. 



Your wit and luimor's free. 

 For I 've no fear you 'II ever prove 



A false-Hood unlo me. 

 And since you taught me how to pun 



And look the mai^riage vow, 

 I'll say though I was singly blest, 



I'm doubly happy now. 



Ancient Dexterity. — One of the earlv kings of 

 Egypt being desirous to secure liis riches, command- 

 ed a treasure-house to be built: but the aroliitect, 

 intending to have some share of the treasure, instead 

 of finishing tlie building conipletely, placed one of 

 the stones m so artful a inaiuier that it could be 

 taken out and put in again by one man. As he was 

 prevented by death from accomplishing his design, 

 on his death bed lie gave full instructions to his own 

 sons how to execute it. Alter they liad for some 

 time plundered tlie treasury, and earned off large 

 sums, the king who observed the gradual diminution 

 of his wealth, without being able to discover how 

 the thieves had nccess to it, finding his seal upon 

 the door always whole, ordered several strong traps 

 to be left in the treasury. By this means one of the 

 brothers was at last taken ; bul, finding it impossi- 

 ble to escape, he pri'ssed liis brother to cut of!' his 

 head, and retire with it to prevent any discovery. 

 The king next morning examining the success of 

 his project, upon finding a man without a head in 

 the snare, hastened out in the greatest alarm and 

 confusion, he ordered the bouy to be e.xposed on the 

 outside of the wall to the public view, charging the 

 guards placed round it to observe the countenance 

 of the spectators, and to seize those who appeared 

 sorrowful. The surviving brotlier, urging by his 

 mother's entreaties and threats of exposure, formed 

 the design of carrying off his brother's body. Ac- 

 cordingly driving his asses tliither laden with skins 

 of wine he found means by the stratagem of letting 

 his wine run out, to intoxicate and stupefy tlie guards. 

 When they were in a deep sleep, he shaved tlie 

 right cheek of each of Ihem, by way of'derision, 

 and in tlie niglit carried oft" the body on one of the 

 asses. This action still more astonished the king ; 

 who being now more earnest to discover the thief, 

 ordered his daughter to receive the addresses of all 

 suitors promiscuously, on oondition that each should 

 previously confess to her the most ingenious action 

 he had ever managed, and the greatest crime he 

 had ever committed'. The young man resolving 

 again to perplex the king, went to the palace of his 

 daughter, and confessed to her that he had cut off 

 his brother's head, and afterwards carried oft' his 

 body. When she then offered ';o lay hold of him he 

 stretched out to her the arm of a dead man, which 

 he had carried in under his cloak (suspecting the 

 intentions of tlie king.) and, wliile slie had the cul- 

 prit, he made his escape. Tlie king's resentment 

 being now converted into admiration, he promised 

 a pardon and rewards to the person who had robbed 

 his treasury, if he would discover himself. The 

 young man, upon this proclamation, immediately 

 made himself known ; and the king thereupon ac- 

 counting him far superior in dexterity to any man 

 then living, gave him his daughter in marriage. 



In these days of selfish calculation and heartless 

 policy, it is refreshing to meet such sentiments as 

 the following by Mrs S. C. Hall — 'How beautiful, 

 how sacred, are the feelings of affection in pure and 

 guileless bosoms ! The proud may sneer at it — the 

 fashionable may call it fable — the selfish and dissi- 

 pated may aftect to despise it — but the lioly passion 

 is surely of heaven, and is only made evil by the 

 corruption of those whom it was sent to bless and 

 preserve.' 



Self Illustration. — In the Jamaica House of As- 

 sembly, a motion being made for leave to bring in a 

 bill to prevent the frauds of wharfingers, Mr Paul 

 Phipps, member for St Andrew, rose and said — 'Mr 

 Speaker, I second the motion ; the wharfingers are 

 to a man, a set of rogues ; I know it well ; Jtoas one 

 myself for ten ycaj-s.' — .Mirror. 



Fontenelle boasted in his old age, 'J^ai quatre 

 vingt ans ; jc suis Frnncais ; etje n'ai pos donne dous 

 touttla plus petite ridicule a la plus petite vertu.' ('i 

 am eighty years old, J am a Frenchman, anjl through. 

 the whole J have never thrown the smallest ridicule 

 upon the smallest virtue.^) This was indeed a proud 

 subject of self-gratulation. — TweddelVs Remains. 



Valuable and Cheap Land — for Sale. 



The subscriber oHers for sale, 14,000 acres of choir; 

 Land, silualed in ibe town of Piiickney, county of Lew 

 and slate of New York. Some ol the land is improve 

 and under cultivation. The country is reniaikably hea 

 t.<r(, being entirely free from the fever and ague and froi 

 the common bilious fevers which ofien afilicl Ihe town 

 upon Lake Ontario, this (own being 18 miles east of th 

 lake. The soil is principally a sandy loam, much of i 

 covered with rich black niou'd. The limber is cliiefi 

 Sugar iVlaple, Bbrck Ash, Butternut, Beech, Elm, &, 

 The land yields lirst rale crops of Grass, Rye, Oals, Bai 

 ley, Potatoes anil Fiax ; and on some lols, good Whea 

 ami Corn may be giown. To those wishing lo obtain su 

 perior grazing farms, a line opporlunily now offers ilsel: 

 rile pioilucc of pasturaf;e ami hay from an acre of tbj 

 l.u.il, is very large, fully er|ii.illing if not sui passing tha 

 hom the same quaniiiy of land in jiny oilier of ibe Blac' 

 River townships. The land is admiiahly well wakreo 

 there being out few lols which have not durable ruiininj 

 streams upon them. The land is well ailapted lo Orchard 

 in£- — Ihe Apple tree thriving very well in this county 

 Slock of all kinds may be dispo-ed of with Ibe least possi 

 hie trouble, and to the greatest advantage, the d 

 purchasing at the very doors of the farmers, and payin| 

 the highest cash prices for their cattle, which will ri add; 

 find purchasers at all seasons of the year. Sevoialfar 

 mors at present residintr on this town, were oriiiinalli 

 I'loni the New England Slates, and some of (hem Iron 

 Massachusetts, who are in thriving cir'cunistanres. Thi 

 above described land is offered for sale at the \n ry lofl 

 piice of fVojii two dollars and a half to three dolliti;; pei 

 acre, lor the uncleareil land, and from three dollar^ ,uidi 

 half to five dollars and a half for the improved lots. Thi 

 land will he sold in lots lo suit purchasers, and fn.iii twt 

 lo five years' credit for payment, in annual instilments 

 will he given. As a further convenience to purcli .sera 

 Ihe subscriber will receive in payment, Catll ■, Sliccp 

 Perk, (irain or Grass Seed, for which products lir will 

 allow the highest cash prices. The tille to the l.md ii 

 indisputable, and good Warranty Deeds will be iiiventc 

 purcbfseis. Persons desirous of putchasing will pleast 

 to apply lo the subscrih.er, at Henderson Harbor, countj 

 of Je(lerson,Stateof New York, or lo David Canfi eld, 

 Esq. on the town. JAMES H. HENDERSON. 



March 9. ■ epl6t 



T(i 



— i 



Jlmmuvition .J^ 



Of the best quality ai.il ii/7(>es< jjrices, for sporting-^ 

 constanlly for sale at COPELAND'.** POWDER STORE, 

 6 .■ Broad Street. 



IV. B. If the quality is not found sati-factory, it may 

 be returned, and the money will be refunded, tf Jan. % 



Evergreens, Silver Firs, Sfc. 

 The subscriber being engaged in (he Sv 

 business would be happy (o receive ordi 

 for Forest Trees, Seeds, and Evergreens fr 

 Maine, and being Agent for J. B. RusSoi, 

 ^ Boston, and Prince i^ Sons, Flushing, N. Y. 

 orders sent through them or otherwise, will be attenilai 

 lo wllbout delay Particular directions for taking upaiu 

 packing is requested. WM. jMANN. 



Augusta, .Me., March 26. 6t 



A list of Mr Mann's prices for Evergreens, i^-c, can be 

 seen at the New England Farmer office. 



Publislied every Wednesday Evening, at gi per annuii^ 

 payable at the end of die year — but those who pay wi thill 

 si.Kty days from the lime of subgcribing, are entitled to a dfl* 

 duction offifty cents. 



[Jj= No paper will be sent to a distance without paymeat 

 being made in advance. 



Printed for J. B. Russell, by I. R. Butts — by wlio(^ 

 all descriptions of Printing can be executed to meet tht 

 wishes of customers. Orders for printing received by J. B. 

 Ri'SsELL, at the Agricultural Warehouse, No. 52 North 

 Market Street. 



AGENTS. 



New York — G.Thokburn &, .SoNS.GTLiberlv-street 



Pltiladdphia- 1). & C Landkkth, S5 Cheslimi-slreet. 



Ballimore—G. li. Smith, Editor of the Ameiican Farmer, 



Ciiiciniuili—S. C. Pakkhukst,23 Lower Market-street. 



A'lidtiii — Hou.Jksse liuEL, .Mhany Nurserv. 



F/tisliin", N. r.W'M. Prince & Sons, Prop.'Lin.Bol.GnrdW 



//lOV/o'V— Goodwin & Co. Booksellers. 



Newbui-yport, Ebenezer Stedman, Bookseller. 



Portsmouth, N. H. J. W. Foster, Bookseller. 



Portland, Mf.—ii\NVE.\. Colman, Bookseller. 



.iluansta, Me. Wm. Mann. 



Hiii/ax, N. S.— P. J. Holland, Esq. Recorder Office. 



Montreal, L. C. — A. Bowman, Bookseller 



