FARMERS' REGISTER— OLD VIRGINIA GEORGICS. 



551 



December 24th, 1833. 



To tlie Editor of the Farmers' Register. 



The newspaper which will be sent with this let- 

 ter was published on the first day of the last No- 

 vember meeting of our agricultural society in 

 Fredericksburg. It was handed to me at a friend's 

 house where several of us were dining, and the 

 ' Extract from Old Virginia Georgics," was 

 deemed a picture at once so true and so amusing, 

 that I proposed to read it at our evening meeting 

 as a communication to our society. This proposal 

 was carried by a unanimous vote, and executed 

 accordingly. 



If it entertains you half as much as it did us, I 

 think you will probably deem it worthy of a place 

 in your Register, by way of variety ; which must 

 be consulted in some degree, even in an agricultu- 

 ral paper. j. 3i. G. 



From the Virginia Herald of Fredericksburg'. 



Mr. Editor, — As the period is at hand when the 

 society formed to improve the agricultural opera 

 tions of the farmers in eastern Virginia, is to con 

 vene in your town; being one of that honorable 

 fraternity I send you the following fragment, and 

 hope you will lay it before that respectable body, 

 as it will throw some light on the system of hus 

 bandry pursued in that part of the country which 

 is now, and for many years has been, the laudable 

 object of Iheir labors — and as it will exhibit many 

 of tlie most prominent diseases under which the 

 system languishes, the hope is indulged, that suita- 

 ble remedies may be devised and recommended by 

 the society at its approaching session. The frag- 

 ment is the introductory part of a poem written 

 some time ago by a friend of mine, and I regret ex- 

 cee(iingly that the remainder is lost, as it was conti- 

 nued to four books, and was designed to describe the 

 various occupations on a farm in winter, spring, 

 summer and autumn. I consider tlie loss irrepa- 

 rable, especially at a time when so noble a plan is 

 on foot as that of making good farmers. 



PREMIUMS. 



Extract from a Poem entitled Old Virginia Geor- 

 gics. 



"Q,uid facial Icetes segctes, 



Hincc canore incipiani." 



ARGU3IENT. 



Virginia husbandry and that depicted by Virgi 

 contrasted — ploughing — horses, and manner of 

 driving gear mules — the ox — pastures — har- 

 rows — skimmers, &c. — crab grass — shepherds — 



sl^eep rogues runaways wolves — hounds — 



niilk — milk maids — fence rails — watlings — invo- 

 cation — address to arators — shallow plougiiing — 

 clover — gypsum — cowtail — Sir Humphrey Davy 



— year begins — clodhoppers — overseers hiring 



{Jay — bonds — distribution of labor — grubbing — 



effects of leaving stumps — old fences — hogs, &c. 



I sing the tillage old Virginia knows, 



Which cheats with hope the husbandman who sows ; 



PJot. such as Maro sung in deathless strains, 



To piping shepherds and Italian swains. 



With "crops immense,"* no " barn here ever crnchs ;" 



The wheat comes always badly from the stacks, 



The corn falls ever " most immensely" short 



Of vague conjecture or of false report ; 



No well fed bullocks drag the glittering plough, 



But hah' starved horses, and the Lord knows how ! 



Their shoulders chafed by hames of naked wood, 



Till downward streams regardlessly the blood ; 



Urged on incessantly by thundering whips, 



Of shouting negroes with their /tnio's and geep's : 



No well fed bullocks — no, but stubborn mules 



Well match'd in villainy with liim who rules, 



For as their sides resound, just heaven ! with sticks 



They oft let fly the most tremendous kicks ; 



Tho' Pompey punch them, and tho' Caesar curse, 



It serves no purpose but to make them worse. 



Some Frenchman* said — "would you convince a fool, 



As soon go kick in stable with your mule." 



Sententious wit! — how forcible !— how true! 



I daub the picture which at once he drew. 



No well fed bullocks — but the bare boned ox, 



That suff 'ring martyr to inhimian knocks ! 



Condemned, tho' pining with Uie holloic horn, 



T' exist on fodder, but to e:it no corn. 



Repast too scanty ! — in the furrow flat 



The suff'rer sinks — "the creature was toofat."i 



No smiling pastures spread inviting here. 



But dry hot fields on ev'ry side appear, 



A sultry scene, a dismal waste, alas ! 



Where man's great object is to kill the grass. 



This tho' attacked with never ending blows 



From harrows, skimmers, and from clattering hoes, 



Wdl rise abhorrent on the farmer's view, 



Like the fam'd monster which Alcides slew. 



Crab grass deracinate, and turn your backs, 



It starts like Hydra from repeated whacks. 



iVo shejAerds tune their reeds to idle rhyme. 



For none have leisure for such waste of time ; 



In truth, the sheep by no one here are watch'd, 



Save rouges, who suffer if tliey can be catch'd ; 



Hound — wolf — or runaway, he only deals 



In closely dogging at their nimble heels. 



Alas ! poor fl^ocks ! Arcadia's pastoral ground, 



Nor " T/i)/Hie," nor " Cytisus" can here be found ; 



'• Distended udders,"l near approach the pail, 



But only udders which are sure to fail. 



Cows bagless — poor — protuberant in joints — 



Yield milk in spoonfuls, or at most in pints. 



What MehbcEUS, or whatTyterus too. 



Could make rich cheese^ from milk of azure hue? 



Drawn by Miss Blackamore at early morn, 



From things sofamished that they^ve turned to horn. 



No "swallowsll blossom on the neighboring hedge" — 



We use but fence rails which are split by wedge, 



Or watlings dry, unsought by " Hybld's bees," 



Which can't suck honey from dead limbs of trees. 



Oh muse ! — but pshaw ! — that's stale! — a joke — 



What muse, I pry thee, should I here invoke? 



Those maids of Pindus, in this Christian land, 



Should not be call'd on for a helping hand ; 



Ah ! sooner call to aid the rustic lay. 



Chiefs grown conspicuous in this farming day — 



Who rule in clubs, and stately there preside, 



And mount their hobbies for a tedious ride; 



Who write long essays in a style confused,. 



Themselves more culpable than those abused. 



Those sage Triptolemi who wield the pen, 



To show "our fathers were misguided men ; 



Far, lar inferior to their wiser sons. 



Mere Goths and Vandals ! or like barb'rous Huns, 



Whose sway brought ruin on tlie fairest plains. 



These lacking mercy, ard those lacking brains. 



Come then Arators of the modern school, 



And be benignant to a rhyming fool. 



♦ Immensoe ruperunt horrea messes — Virg. 



♦ Montaigne I believe. 



t The common excuse of the Buckskin for the death of an ox, 

 occasioned by starvation. 

 \ Bis venit admulctram, binos alit ubere fa;tu3. 

 § Pinguis et ingratK premeretur caseus urbi. 

 II Vicino ab liniite sepas, 

 Hybteis apibus florem depasta salicti. 



