1893 



GLEANINGS IN BEE CULTURE. 



23 



Our Homes. 



Then ye shall appoint you cities to be cities of ref- 

 uge for you ; thfit the slayer may flee thither, which 

 killeth any person at unnwares. — Num. 35 : 11. 



Away back in the early ages, when matters 

 of law were in their infancy, a man was often 

 in danger of being punished when he was at 

 least comparadvely innocent ; and our text 

 tells us that God, through Moses, directed that 

 cities of refuge should be appointed, about 

 equally distant, three on either side of the 

 Jordan . These cities were to be literally places 

 of refuge for any one who was in danger of 

 being injured or killed b} mob rule. I won- 

 der if our law-makers of the present day have 

 ever thought that it begins to look as if we 

 ought to have cities of refuge now, where a 

 man may be sure of being protected until he 

 can have a fair and impartial trial. Just now, 

 however, I have something else in mind. My 

 attention was called to this matter by an article 

 in the American Agricultuyist of Dec. 11, en- 

 titled "Mothers' Meeting." The article was 

 written by H. Annette Poole, and she speaks 

 of being present at a mother's meeting here in 

 our own town of Medina. The meeting was 

 conducted at that time, it seems, by Miss Sarah 

 Smith, the lady who furnished an article that 

 we sent out in tract form a year ago, entitled 

 "Child-training." See page 28, 1897. Well, 

 Annette Poole, in describing her visit to the 

 mothers' meeting, writes as follows : 



The text for Miss Smith's heartfelt sympathetic lit- 

 tle talk was " Cities of Refuge." Speaking first of the 

 places described in Scripture as set apart for hunted 

 criminals, .'■he went on to the thoxight that every little 

 child should find a sure city of refuge in its mother or 

 its teacher, not only from its own naughtiness, but 

 from its inability to express its ideas. Children are 

 often silent under censure becau.se they do not know 

 how to put into words the thoughts which fill their 

 brains, and they often feel that they are unjustly h\h m- 

 ed becau.se they can not explain their motives. Moth- 

 ers and teachers should try to help their struggling ut- 

 terance, and, as far as possible, put themselves in the 

 child',- place. We are too prone to hush the chattering 

 tongue and hid the little one " run away " and " not 

 bother." True, to patiently sit down and try to unravel 

 the child's interest, when it scarcely knows it itself, to 

 help it to know and express its own purpo.se, consumes 

 a great deal of time, and the day scarcely fui nishes 

 time enough for the manifold duties which crowd 

 upon both mothers and teachers. But, after all, who 

 has a better right to demand our time and attention 

 than the children in our care? 



When I read the above it appealed strongly 

 to my feelings, and I was obliged to look back 

 and note the different times when I have mis- 

 understood children. Let me give one illus- 

 tration : 



When Huber was beginning to talk so as to 

 make himself understood, he on one occasion 

 had been behaving badly. I think his mother 

 advised that papa shotild "talk" with him. 

 He seemed (at least so it appeared to me) 

 stubborn and contrary. The only response I 

 could get in explanation of his bad condtict 

 was that he " didn't care." I talked with him 

 long and earnestly; but still he said, " I don't 

 care." Then I presented the subject from an- 

 other point of view. I explained to him the 

 consequences of deliberate and persistent 

 wrong-doing. He heaved a little sigh — a very 

 little one — but still insisted he didn't care. 



Then I suggested punishment — told him there 

 was not any thing else for a kind parent to do. 

 Finally he enlarged his statement a little with 

 something I did not quite understand. His 

 little lip began to pucker up, and then I made 

 out that he was trying to say, " Papa, in hon- 

 est /7-oc/' I don't care." He had understood 

 me enough to know that I was doubting his 

 statements. Among his little playmates he 

 had heard somebody say " honest truth " — an 

 expression they had probably used to assure 

 their comrades that they were not joking or 

 making believe. The statement was really 

 true, and he tried hard, with his awkward lit- 

 tle tongue, to make his father tmderstand that 

 he was really honest, and not telling an un- 

 trtith ; and I understood, too, that he was at 

 least now really sincere, and that he, my dar- 

 ling boy, was not wicked and stublaorn, but 

 that he was a good boy, as he always had been; 

 but what could the child mean by continually 

 insisting he didn't care ? A little careful ques- 

 tioning brought it out. By the expression 

 " didn't care" he meant, " [didn't mean to.'" 

 It seems funny that the child should have got 

 things so mixed up that he kept saying he 

 didn't care when he was doing his level best 

 to make me understand that he did not mean 

 to be bad, and make mamma trouble. He could 

 not deny his fault, and did not try to, for he 

 knew that his parents knew he was gtiilty of 

 just what he was accused of. He wanted to 

 tell us, but his juvenile vocabulary was too 

 limited to get into words that would indicate 

 he did it by mistake, or without thinking of 

 the consequences. Oh what a relief it was to 

 fold my boy in my arms once tnore, and then 

 it startled me to realize that I came p.-etty near 

 punishing — yes, ptinishing a good ptire-heart- 

 ed, noble baby — for he was but little more than 

 a baby — when he was entirely innocent of any 

 willful offense or misdemeanor ! At that time 

 I breathed my little prayer, "Lord, help!" 

 and if I did not make the prayer any longer 

 it was becatise I felt that the dear vSavior knew 

 it included that he should help me through all 

 my futtire life to be careful — oh so careful ! — 

 that I did not, in my constantly enlarging 

 field of work, wrong any human being just as 

 I had come so near grievously wronging my 

 own child. As I go over the matter, recollec- 

 tion goes back, and I think of the many times 

 when I have scolded severely, or made up my 

 mind I would scold, when the offender was 

 about as innocent as otir own Huber. 



A few days ago we were speaking about the 

 annoyance of having so many of our helpers 

 (more than a hundred in all) get around late 

 to their work. Some of the firm advised fix- 

 ing a penalty for being even ten minutes late. 

 But I urged them not to do it. All such rules 

 are so liable to punish or severely wound the 

 feelings of some one who does not need any 

 discipline at all, that I strongly objected. 



" Let me collect the names of the delin- 

 quents, and try a personal talk with them." 



The objection was made that we had tried 

 that thing enough already. 



" But let me talk with them just once more, 

 and let them know I do this just before un- 

 dertaking something more severe." 



