24 



THE ge:jtesee farmer. 



PKOGKESSED PUMPKIN PKODUCED BY PKOF. PUFF'S PATENT PEIMABIES. 



Theee are always some people who easily tell 



About monstrous vegetation; 

 And their corn or their pumpkins — their inside or shell — 



Surpass all the rest of creation. 



We were noticing statements, last week and before, 



Of a turnip, too big to be eaten, — 

 Of potatoes, two bushels at least to each hill, — 



And of beets, not at all to be beaten. 



We are always unwilling to publish a puff, 



As such fellows are trying to blow it; 

 But we thought that for once we would give them enough, 



With the help of our artist and poet. 



And we now have decided to tell a great yarn — 



One awful exaggeration, — 

 And our artist has drawn it as big as ' Si barn — 



"Some pumpkins" above the whole nation. 



We persuaded our poet the falsehood to tell 



Of a pumpkin full fifteen feet through, 

 Which it took two oxen, one horse, and one mule, 



To remove from the field where it grew. 



Our poet remembers : it was last September — 

 And the f».cts(?) in his mem'ry are clinging — 



The oxen were drawing, the boys were hurrahing. 

 And this is the song they were singing: 



"Hail to the nitrogen, phosphorus, oxygen! 



Furnishing all the components required, 

 Render.ng soils most completely adapted 



To aising such pumpkins as must be admired. 



"Professor Puff has a most capital warehouse, 

 For selling new patents, and fixing old soils : 



It was there that I bought the ingredients I sought; 

 And I now raise " some pumpkins" without any toila 



"The seed is for sale at Professor Puff's warehouse— 

 The Patent Progressive Primarius seed. 



Send for a circular: get the certificates. 

 The thing is discovered which all farmers need. 



"All crops, at all seasons, without rhyme or reason. 

 Will grow, if you only Professor Puff try : 



Ammonia, guano, and other progressives, 

 Will do the thing up, if you only will buy. 



"I can truly advise that friend Puff analyze 

 The soil of each farm, and find out what it needs. 



For twenty-five dollars ; a good letter follows, 

 Telling how the good farmer completely succeeds. 



"His salt and lime mixture is a most complete fixture, 

 Converting the peat into chloride of lime : 



The sugar-scum refuse made up into phosphate — 

 Nitrogenous phosphate — is something sublime. 



" Sublime or ridiculous, how he does tickle us! 



Enrichers phosphatic will do the thing clean: 

 Of potash progressive, the fruits are excessive, 



And need Gibbs's rotary digging ma«hine. 



"Long may Columbia raise, without number, 

 The fruits of improved superphosphate of lime; 



Its products extreme will hold up to esteem 

 Professor Puff's name to the end of all time." 



