WIT AND HUMOUR. 



grapher) the two neighbours had 

 pursued very distinct callings ; but, 

 to their utter surprise, a sudden co- 

 partnership had been struck during 

 the night, and Fife and Drum were 

 now united in the same martial line. 

 A great sensation was produced in 

 the morning, when, of course, the 

 new co-partnery was suddenly dis- 

 solved. Campbell was, after some 

 inquiry, found to have been the 

 sign-painter, and threatened with 

 pains and penalties, which were, 

 however, commuted into a severe 

 reprimand, suggesting to the poet 

 the words of Parolles 



"I'll no more drumming: a plague of 

 all Drums." 



SHERIDAN AND RICHARDSON. 



Lord John Eussell told us a good 

 trick of Sheridan's upon Richard- 

 son. Sheridan had been driving 

 out three or four hours in a hack- 

 ney coach, when, seeing Richardson 

 pass, he hailed him and made him 

 get in. He instantly contrived to 

 introduce a topic upon which Rich- 

 ardson (who was the very soul of 

 disputatiousness) always differed 

 with him ; and at last, affecting to 

 be mortified at Richardson's argu- 

 ments, said, T 'You really are too 

 bad, I cannot bear to listen to such 

 things ; I will not stay in the same 

 coach with you." And accordingly 

 got down and left him, Richardson 

 hallooing out triumphantly, "Ah, 

 you're beat, you're beat !" Nor was 

 it till the heat of his victory had a 

 little cooled, that he found out he 

 was left in the lurch to pay for 

 Sheridan's three hours' coaching. 

 (Diary of Thomas Moore.) 



DUNS SCOTTJS. 



This eminent theologian and 

 scholar of the ninth century, known 

 as the "subtle doctor," combined 

 with his philosophic genius a cor- 

 dial love of pleasantry. Charles 

 the Bald, when seated opposite to 



I him at table, asked him archly, 

 " What is the distance between a 

 Scot ancla sot ?" " The width of the 

 table," was the ready answer, which 

 drew a smile from the king. 



SYDNEY SMITH AND THOS. CAMPBELL. 



I met Sydney Smith (wrote 

 Campbell) the other day. " Camp- 

 bell," he said, " we met last, two 

 years ago, in Fleet Street ; and, as 

 you may remember, we got into a 

 violent argument, but were sepa- 

 rated by a waggon, and have never 

 met since. Let us have out that 

 argument now. Do you recollect 

 the subject?" "No," I said, "I 

 have clean forgotten the subject ; 

 but I remember that I was in the 

 right, and that you were violent, 

 and in the wrong !" I had scarcely 

 uttered these words, when a violent 

 shower came on. I took refuge in 

 a shop, and he in a cab. He parted 

 with a proud threat that he would 

 renew the argument the next time 

 we met. " Very well," I said, " but 

 you shan't get off again, either in a 

 waggon or a cab." 



DR. BUCKLAND FORCE OP IMAGINA- 

 TION. 



This distinguished geologist one 

 day gave a dinner, after dissecting 

 a Mississippi alligator, having asked 

 a good many of the most distin- 

 guished of his classes to dine with 

 him. His house and all his estab- 

 lishment were in good style and 

 taste. His guests congregated ; the 

 dinner table showed splendidly,with 

 glass, china and plate, and the meal 

 commenced with excellent soup. 



"How do you like the soup?'* 

 asked the Doctor, after having fin- 

 ished his own plate, addressing a 

 famous gourmand of the day. 



"Very good, indeed," answered 

 the other. "Turtle, is it not? I 

 only ask because I do not find any 

 green fat." 



The Doctor shook his head. 



" I think it has somewhat of a 



