GO 



CHITICS AND CRITICISM. 



a caustic one; and how Mercury 

 proposed as a toast, " The medical 

 profession : to whom we say, ' Use 

 us, but do not abuse us.' " I must 

 speak however of a curious little by- 

 scene I chanced to witness ; it was 

 a flirtation that Platinum was car- 

 rying on with Hydrogen, whom, 

 much to my surprise, I found seated 

 among the Metals, and quite at 

 home among them, too. There was 

 quite a contrast between Platinum, 

 gray, heavy, and dull as ho was, 

 and the light and buoyant creature 

 by his side : but there soon seemed 

 to be evidence of some mutual at- 

 traction. Platinum grew warm in 

 his attentions, and ere long quite a 

 flame was kindled between them. 



So passed the evening : all went 

 "merry as a marriage-bell," with 

 nothing to mar the good humour 

 that prevailed ; till, in an evil hour, 

 Sulphuretted Hydrogen, a disagree- 

 able fellow, against whose appear- 

 ance at the banquet most of the 

 company had protested, entered the 

 apartment with a very offensive 

 air. In an instant the whole -family 

 of Metals, to whom he was particu- 

 larly obnoxious, changed colour ; 

 Lead fairly grew black in the face 



with indignation; Arsenic and Anti- 

 mony seemed to be jaundiced Avith 

 rage ; Ammonia, to whom his pre- 

 sence recalled very unpleasant as- 

 sociations, in trying to avoid him r 

 precipitated several Metallic Oxides 

 to the floor ; while Chlorine, with 

 more self-command than the rest, 

 advanced with a firm step to expel 

 the intruder, looking as if she were 

 about to annihilate him on the spot. 

 How the scene might have ter- 

 minated I know not ; for just at 

 that moment a strange sound, of 

 awful import, like the tramping of 

 a mighty host, came to my ears : I 

 felt sure it was " an earthquake's 

 voice," and that now my fate was 

 sealed ! My knees tottered under 

 me ; the arching grotto and the 

 festive board gradually vanished 



from before my eyes, which 



opened upon the class, as they were 

 leaving the laboratory of our wor- 

 thy professor of chemistry, where 

 it seemed, much to my confusion, I 

 had fallen asleep during lecture, 

 and 



" Dreamed a dream in the midst of my 

 slumbers." 



(Dr. House, in Knickerbocker, 

 an American publication.) 



CRITICS AND CRITICISM, 



A TRUE CRITIC, 



In the perusal of a book, is like a 

 dog at a feast, whose thoughts and 

 stomach are wholly set upon what 

 the guests fling away, and conse- 

 quently is apt to snarl most when 

 there are the fewest bones. (Dean 

 Swift, Tale of a Tub.) 



SHERIDAN. 



Sheridan had a very convenient 

 formula for acknowledging all the 

 new publications that were con- 

 stantly sent him: "Dear sir, I 

 have received your exquisite work, 

 and I have no doubt I shall be 



highly delighted after I have read 

 it." 



A ROYAL CRITIC KING JAMES 

 THE FIRST. 



As I remember some years since, 

 there was a very abusive satyr in 

 verse brought to our king ; and as 

 the passages were a-reading before 

 him, he often said, "That if there 

 were no more men in England, the 

 rogue should hang for it." At last 

 being come to the conclusion, which 

 was (after all his railing) 



" Now God preserve the king, the queen, 



the peers, 

 And grant the author long may \vear 



his ears." 



