140 



POETIIY AND POETS. 



COLERIDGE AS A SOLDIER. 



"Mr. Coleridge," says Cottle, 

 " told us of one of his Cambridge 

 eccentricities, which highly amused 

 us. He said that he had paid his 

 addresses to a Mary Evans, who, 

 rejecting his offer, he took it so 

 much in dudgeon, that he withdrew 

 from the university to London, 

 when, in a reckless state of mind, 

 he enlisted in the 15th regiment of 

 Elliot's Light Dragoons. No ob- 

 jection having been taken to his 

 height or age, he was asked his 

 name. He had previously deter- 

 mined to give one that was 

 thoroughly Kamschatkian,but hav- 

 ing noticed that morning, over a 

 door in Lincoln's Inn Fields, or the 

 Temple, the name of ' Cumberbatch ' 

 (not Cumberback), he thought this 

 word sufficiently outlandish, and 

 replied 'Silas Tomkeu Cumber- 

 batch;'* and such was the entry 

 in the regimental book. 



" Here, in his new capacity, la- 

 borious duties devolved on Mr. C. 

 He endeavoured to think on Csesar, 

 and Epaininondas, and Leonidas, 

 with other ancient heroes, and com- 

 posed himself to his fate ; remem- 

 bering, in every series, there must 

 be a commencement. , But still he 

 found confronting him no imaginary 

 inconveniences. Perhaps he who had 

 most cause for dissatisfaction was 

 the drill sergeant, who thought his 

 professional character endangered ; 

 for, after using his utmost efforts 

 to bring his raw recruit into some- 

 thing like training, he expressed 

 the most serious fears, from his un- 

 conquerable awkwardness, that he 

 should never be able to make a 

 soldier of him. 



"Mr. C., it seemed, could not 

 even rub down his own horse, 

 which, however, it should be known, 

 was rather a restive one, who, like 



* These three initials would be the 

 proper S. T. C. affixed to his garments. . 



Cowper's hare, 'would bite if it 

 could,' and, in addition, kick not a 

 little. We could not suppose that 

 these predispositions in the martial 

 steed were at all aggravated by the 

 unskilful jockeyship to which he 

 was subjected ; but the sensitive 

 quadruped did rebel a little in the 

 stable, and wince a little in the 

 field. 



"Perhaps the poor animal was 

 something in the state of the horse 

 that carried Mr. Wordsworth's 

 Idiot Boy, who, in his sage con- 

 templations, 'wondered what he 

 had got upon his back.' 



" This rubbing down of his horse 

 was a constant source of annoyance 

 to Mr. C., who thought the most 

 rational way was to let the horse 

 rub himself down, shaking himself 

 clean, and so to shine in all his 

 native beauty ; but on this subject 

 there were two opinions, and his 

 that was to decide carried most 

 weight. If it had not been for the 

 foolish and fastidious taste of the 

 ultra precise sergeant, this whole 

 mass of trouble might be avoided j 

 but seeing the thing must be done^ 

 or punishment, he set about the 

 Herculean task with the firmness of 

 a Wallenstein. But lo! the par- 

 oxysm was brief, as the necessity 

 that called it forth. 



"Mr. C. overcame this immense 

 difficulty by bribing a young man 

 of the regiment to perform the 

 achievement for him, and that on 

 very easy terms, namely, by writ- 

 ing him some love stanzas to send 

 his sweetheart. 



" Mr. Coleridge, in the midst of 

 all his deficiencies, it appeared, was- 

 liked by the men, although he was 

 the butt of the whole company ;. 

 being esteemed by them as next of 

 kin to a natural, though of a pecu- 

 liar kind a talking natural. This. 

 fancy of theirs was stoutly resisted 

 by the love-sick swain ; but the re- 

 gimental logic prevailed ; i or, what- 

 ever they could do with masterly 



