216 



TABLE-TALK AND VARIETIES. 



lain, told me that lie believed Mr. I 

 Locke's thorough confutation of 

 the bishop's metaphysics about the 

 Trinity hastened his end." Dr. 

 Hawkesworth died of criticism. 

 Singing birds cannot live in a 

 storm. 



A POEM ON TOBACCO. 



The authors of the time of Eliza- 

 beth and James I. often put quaint 

 and ridiculous titles to their books. 

 Amongst, others we may mention 

 Joshua Sylvester, a Puritanical 

 poet, who wrote a poem against 

 tobacco, which bears this title : 

 Tobacco battered, and the Pipes 

 shattered about their Ears that 

 idly idolize so loathsome a Vanity, 

 by a Volley of holy Shot thun- 

 dered from Mount Helicon. 



CAVENDISH'S DISREGARD OF MONEY. 



To the anecdotes given in a pre- 

 vious part of this volume, illustra- 

 tive of the eccentricities of this 

 great chemist, may here be added 

 the following, characteristic of his 

 disregard of money : 



"The bankers (says Mr. Pepys) 

 where he kept his accounts, in 

 looking over their affairs, found he 

 had a considerable sum in their 

 hands, some say nearly eighty thou- 

 sand pounds, and one of them said, 

 that he did not think it right that 

 it should lie so without investment. 

 He was therefore commissioned to 

 wait upon Mr. Cavendish, who at 

 that time resided at Clapham. 

 Upon his arrival at the house he 

 desired to speak to Mr. Cavendish. 



" The servant said, ' What is your 

 business with him V 



" He did not choose to tell the 

 servant. 



. " The servant then said, ' You 

 nrast wait till my master rings his 

 bell, and then I will let him know.' 



" In about a quarter of an hour 

 the bell rang, and the banker had 

 the curiosity to listen to the con- 

 versation which took place. 



< " ' Sir, there is a person below, 

 who wants to speak to you.' 



"'Who is he? Who is he? 

 What does he want with me ?' 



" ' He says he is your banker, 

 and must speak to you.' 



" Mr. Cavendish, in great agita- 

 tion, desires he may be sent up, 

 and, before he entered the room, 

 cries, ' What do you come here for ] 

 What do you want with me V 



" ' Sir, I thought it prcpar to 

 wait upon you, as we have a very 

 large balance in hand of yours, and 

 wish for your orders respecting it.' 



" ' If it is any trouble to you, I 

 will take it out of your hands. Do 

 not come here to plague me.' 



" ' Not the least trouble to us, sir, 

 not the least ; but we thought you 

 might like some of it to be invested.' 



"'Well! well! What do you 

 want to do V 



'"Perhaps you would like to have 

 forty thousand pounds invested.' 



" ' Do so ! Do so, and don't come 

 here and trouble me, or I will re- 

 move it.' " 



BURKE. 



It was a fine compliment which. 

 Johnson, when debilitated by sick- 

 ness, paid to Burke the only man 

 who was a match for that conver- 

 sational tyrant : " That fellow calls 

 forth all my powers. Were I to 

 see Burke now it would kill me." 

 " Can he wind into a subject, like a 

 serpent, as Burke does?" was the 

 shrewd question put to Boswell by 

 Goldsmith. 



DOCTOR JOHNSON IN CONVERSATION. 



Tyers says of Johnson, though 

 his time seemed to be bespoke, and 

 quite engrossed, his house was al- 

 ways open to all his acquaintance, 

 new and old. His amanuensis has 

 given up his pen, the printer's devil 

 has waited on the stairs for a proof- 

 sheet, and the press has often stood 

 still, while his visitors were delight- 

 ed and instructed. No subject 

 ever came amiss to him. He could 



