246 



TABLE-TALK AND VARIETIES. 



moon. In a conversation with the 

 Duchess of Newcastle, her grace 

 asked him, " Doctor, where am I 

 to find a place for baiting at, in the 

 way up to that planet 1 " " Madam,' ' 

 said he, " of all the people in the 

 world, I never expected that ques- 

 tion from you, who have built so 

 many castles in the air, that you 

 might lie every night at one of 

 your own." 



LE CLERC. 



Some person observed to this 

 acute and profound scholar, " I 

 think ' De mortuis nil nisi bonwri 

 is a good saying." " ' De mortuis nil 

 nisi verum.' " said Le Clerc, " is a 

 better." "Why so?' " Because truth 

 can do no harm to the dead, and 

 may do great good to the living." 



BURKE AND LONSDALE's NINEPINS. 



The Earl of Lonsdale was so ex- 

 tensive a proprietor, and patron of 

 boroughs, that he returned nine 

 members every Parliament, who 

 were facetiously called Lord Lons- 

 dale's ninepins. One of the mem- 

 bers thus designated, having made 

 a very extravagant speech in the 

 House of Commons, was answered 

 by Mr. Burke, in a vein, of the hap- 

 piest sarcasm, which elicited from 

 the house loud and continued cheers. 

 Mr. Fox entering the house just as 

 Mr. Burke was sitting down, in- 

 quired of Sheridan what the house 

 was cheering. " O, nothing of con- 

 sequence," replied Sheridan, " only 

 Burke has knocked down one of 

 Lord Lonsdale's ninepins." 



LORD DERBY. 



Lord Stanley (now Lord Derby), 

 once alluded to Lord Brougham as 

 " the noble lord who had just taken 

 his seat;" but chancing to look 

 round, and seeing the ex-chancellor 

 jumping about like a cricket, beg- 

 ged pardon, and said he meant his 

 noble friend who " never took his 

 seat." 



OLD LONDON RECOLLECTIONS 

 HOGARTH'S " APPRENTICES." 



For the following genial and 

 lively sketch, we are indebted to 

 Mr. Thackeray' ^Lectures onthe Eng- 

 lish Humourists. Its relish will be 

 heightened to such readers as en- 

 joyed the privilege of hearing the 

 author deliver the lecture of which 

 it forms a part. 



" Fair-haired Frank Goodchild 

 smiles at his work, whilst naughty 

 Tom Idle snores over his loom. 

 Frank reads the edifying ballads 

 of Whittington, and the London 

 'Prentice. Whilst that reprobate 

 Tom Idle prefers Moll Flanders, 

 and drinks hugely of beer, Frank 

 goes to church of a Sunday, and 

 warbles hymns from the gallery ; 

 while Tom lies on a tomb-stone out- 

 side playing at halfpenny -under- 

 the-hat, with street blackguards, 

 and deservedly caned by the beadle. 

 Frank is made overseer of the busi- 

 ness, whilst Tom is sent to sea. 

 Frank is taken into partnership, 

 and marries his master's daughter, 

 sends out broken victuals to the 

 poor, and listens in his night-cap 

 and gown with the lovely Mrs. 

 Goodchild by his side, to the nup- 

 tial music of the city bands and the 

 marrow-bones and cleavers ; whilst 

 idle Tom, returned from sea, shud- 

 ders in a garret lest the officers are t 

 coming to take him for picking 

 pockets. The Worshipful Francis 

 Goodchild, Esq., becomes Sheriff of 

 London, and partakes of the most 

 splendid dinners which money can 

 purchase or alderman devour ; 

 whilst poor Tom is taken up in a 

 night cellar, with that one-eyed and 

 disreputable accomplice who fii'st 

 taught him to play chuck-farthing 

 on a Sunday. What happens next? 

 Tom is brought up before the justice 

 of his country, in the person of Mr. 

 Alderman Goodchild, who weeps as 

 he recognizes his old brother 'pren- 

 tice, as Tom's one-eyed friend 



