270 



TABLE-TALK AND VARIETIES. 



to sell on credit, every one who pur- 

 chased expected to pay. These, too, 

 were parted with, and the inscrip- 

 tion then stood, " John Thompson 

 sells hats." " Sells hats ! " says his 

 next friend; "why, who expects 

 you to give them away? What, 

 then, is* the use of the word?" It 

 was struck out, and hats was all that 

 remained attached to the name of 

 John Thompson. Even this in- 

 scription, brief as it was, was re- 

 duced ultimately to "John Thomp- 

 son," with the figure of a hat sub- 

 joined, 



RICHARD I. 



Foulques de Neully, a celebrated 

 preacher of his day, addressing 

 himself in a prophetic style to 

 Eichard I., King of England, told 

 him he had three daughters to 

 marry, and that, if he did not dis- 

 pose of them soon, God would pun- 

 ish him severely. " You are a false 

 prophet," said the king ; " I have 

 no daughter." "Pardon me, sir," 

 replied the priest, "your majesty 

 has three, ambition, avarice, and 

 luxury; get rid of them as fast 

 as possible, else assuredly some 

 great misfortune will be the con- 

 sequence." " If it must be so then," 

 said the king, with a sneer, "I give 

 my ambition to the templars, my 

 avarice to the monks, and my 

 luxury to the prelates." 



IMPROMPTUS. 



It is a difficult matter to make a 

 good impromptu. I believe, for 

 my own part, that none are good 

 but those that are made at leisure. 

 (Menage.) 



VOLTAIRE'S GENIUS. 

 Tt was observed by Madame 

 Necker, that Voltaire had extracted 

 from his genius everything of which 

 it was susceptible ; that in his case 

 it was like a sponge, which he had 

 drained of its contents to the last 

 drop. 



VOLTAIRE AND THE ENGLISHMAN. 



An Englishman who stopped at 

 Feruey, in his way to Italy, offered 

 to Voltaire to bring him from Home 

 whatever he desired. "Good," said 

 the philosopher, "bring me the ears 

 of the grand Inquisitor." The 

 Englishman, in the course of a fa- 

 miliar conversation with Clement 

 XIV., related to him this piece of 

 pleasantry. " Tell Voltaire from 

 me," answered the pope, laughing, 

 "that our Inquisitor is no longer 

 possessed of ears." 



IMMORTALITY. 



Bautru, in presenting a poet to 

 M. d'Hemery, addressed him, " Sir, 

 I present to you a person who will 

 give you immortality ; but you 

 must give him something to live 

 upon in the meantime." 



THE LATEST INFORMATION. 



M. de E was relating a story. 



M. de B said to him, "That 



cannot be, for I have a letter of the 

 31st, which says the contrary." 

 "Ah," replied the narrator, "but 

 mine is of the 32d 1" 



CASAUBON. 



Casaubon being present during 

 the discussion of a thesis in the 

 Sorbonne, listened to a very long 

 and stubborn dispute, which was 

 carried on in a style so barbarous 

 and unintelligible to him, that he 

 could not help remarking, as he 

 left the hall, " I never listened to 

 so much Latin before without un- 

 derstanding it!" 



BACON'S INCONSISTENCIES. 

 The difference between the soar- 

 ing angel and the creeping snake 

 was but a type of the difference 

 between Bacon the philosopher and 

 Bacon the attorney-general, Bacon 

 seeking for truth, and Bacon seek- 

 ing for the seals. Those who sur- 

 vey only one half of his character 



