238 



TABLE-TALK AND VARIETIES. 



sect, should say to his companion, 

 'Kill that lawyer! kill that law- 



Jer ! ' how should you like that, 

 ones? and I am sure, to most 

 people, a lawyer is a more noxious 

 animal than a spider." 



CORRUPTIONS OF WORDS. 



Many of our most popular vul- 

 garisms have their origin in some 

 whimsical perversion of language 

 or of fact. St. Martin is one of 

 the worthies of the Romish calen- 

 dar, and a form of prayer com- 

 mences with the words, " 0, mihi, 

 beate Marline" which was corrupted 

 to " My eye and Betty Martin." 



"The Goat and Compasses," with 

 appropriate emblazonment, was a 

 favourite name for the old English 

 hostelries. The name is a corrup- 

 tion of the ancient legend, "God 

 encompasseth us." 



DR. JOHNSON'S STYLE. 



Macaulay, in his Review of Bos- 

 wclfs Johnson, says he wrote in a 

 style in which no one ever made 

 love, quarrelled, drove bargains, or 

 even thinks. When he wrote for 

 publication, " he did his sentences 

 into Johnsonese." 



Goldsmith remarked to him, " If 

 you were to write a fable about 

 little fishes, doctor, you would make 

 the little fishes to talk like whales." 



LITERARY ACQUIREMENTS IN THE 

 ARMY. 



Lieut.-Gen. Sir George Murray 

 served in the expedition to Egypt, 

 and when before Alexandria, the 

 troops having suffered severely 

 from want of water, his literary 

 acquirements were of the greatest 

 service, instructing him that Coesar's 

 army had suffered from the same 

 cause, and in very nearly the same 

 place. Referring to his Ccesar, which 

 he always carried in his travelling 

 portable library, he found his recol- 

 lection right, and that water had 

 been obtained by the Romans from 



digging wells to a certain depth in 

 the sands. The trial was imme- 

 diately made, and the result was a 

 most copious supply of that neces- 

 sary article, which enabled the Bri- 

 tish troops to hold their ground, 

 and ultimately to triumph. 



PASCAL'S '-LETTERS." 

 When Pascal became warm in 

 his celebrated controversy, he ap- 

 plied himself with incredible labour 

 to the composition of his Provincial 

 Letters. He was frequently occu- 

 pied twenty days on a single letter. 

 He recommenced some above seven 

 or eight times, and by this means 

 obtained that perfection Avhich has 

 made his work, as Voltaire says, 

 one of the best books ever published 

 in France. 



ORIGIN OF THE WORD "TEETOTAL." 



The word teetotal originated with 

 a Lancashire working-man, who, 

 being unused to public speaking, 

 and wishing to pronounce the word 

 " total " in connection with " absti- 

 nence from intoxicating liquors," 

 hesitated, and pronounced the first 

 letter by itself, and the word after 

 it, making altogether t-total. This 

 fact it is well to be acquainted with, 

 because it sufficiently refutes the 

 vulgar notion that tee has reference 

 to tea. 



PHYSIOGNOMY. 



Lavater, in his Physiognomy, says 

 that Lord Anson, from his coun- 

 tenance, must have been a very wise 

 man. He was one of the most stupid 

 men I ever knew. (Walpole.) 



LORD WILLIAM POULET. 



Lord William Poulet, though 

 often chairman of committees of the 

 House of Commons, was a great 

 dunce, and could scarce read. Hav- 

 ing to read a bill for naturalizing 

 Jemima, Duchess of Kent, he called 

 her Jeremiah, Duchess of Kent. 



Haviuo- heard south walls com- 



