PEXSANT S 



mended for ripening fruit, he showed 

 all the four sides of his garden for 

 south walls. 



A gentleman writing to desire a 

 ne horse he had, offered him any 

 equivalent. Lord William replied, 

 that the horse was at his service, 

 but he did not know what to do 1 

 with an elephant. 



A pamphlet, called The Snake in 

 tJic Grass, being reported (probably 

 in joke) to be written by this Lord 

 William Poulet, a gentleman, abused 

 in it, sent him a challenge. Lord 

 William professed his innocence, 

 and that he was not the author; 

 but the gentleman would not be 

 satisfied without a denial under his 

 hand. Lord William took a pen, 

 and began, " This is to scratify, that 

 the buk called the Snak " " O, my 

 Lord," said the person, " I am satis- 

 fied ; your Lordship has already 

 convinced me you did not write the 

 book." 



EXCUSE FOR A LONG LETTER. 



In a postscript to one of the 

 Provincial Letters, Pascal excuses 

 himself for the letter being so long, 

 on the plea that he had not had 

 time to make it shorter. 



WIT AND WISDOM. 



Philip, King of Macedon, having 

 invited Dionysius the younger to 

 dine with him at Corinth, attempted 

 to deride the father of his royal 

 guest, because he had blended the 

 characters of prince and poet, and 

 had employed his leisure in writing 

 odes and tragedies. " How could 

 the king find leisure," said Philip, 

 u to write such trifles ?" "In those 

 hours," answered Dionysius, "which 

 you and I spend in drunkenness 

 and debauchery." 



STUPID STORIES. 



Ajstupid story, or idea, will some- 

 time's make one laugh more than 

 wit. I was once removing from 

 Berkeley Square to Strawberry- 



289 



hill, and had sent off all my books 

 when a message unexpectedly ar- 

 rived, which fixed me in town for 

 that afternoon. What to do? I 

 desired my man to rummage for a 

 book, and he brought me an old 

 Grub Street thing from the garret. 

 The author, in sheer ignorance, not 

 humour, discoursing of the difficulty 

 of some pursuit, said, that even if 

 a man had as many lives as a cat, 

 nay, as many lives as one Plutarch 

 is said to have had, he could not 

 accomplish it. This odd quid pro 

 quo surprised me into vehement 

 laughter. (Walpole.) 



SYMPTOMS OF INSANITY. 



My poor nephew, Lord , was 



deranged. The first symptom that 

 appeared was, his sending a chal- 

 dron of coals as a present to the 

 Prince of Wales, on learning that 

 he was loaded with debts. He de- 

 lighted in what he called book- 

 hunting. This notable diversion 

 consisted in taking a volume of a 

 book, and hiding it in some secret 

 part of the library, among volumes 

 of similar binding and size. When 

 he had forgot where the game lay, 

 he hunted till he found it. (Wal- 

 pole.) 



PENNANT'S TOUR IN CHESTER. 



Mr. Pennant is a most ingenious 

 and pleasing writer. His Tours 

 display a great variety of know- 

 ledge, expressed in an engaging 

 way. In private life, I am told, he 

 has some peculiarities, and even 

 eccentricities. Among the latter 

 may be classed his singular anti- 

 pathy to a wig which, however, he 

 can suppress, till reason yields a 

 little to wine. But when this is 

 the case, off goes the wig next to 

 him, and into the fire. 



Dining once at Chester witn an 

 officer who wore a wig, Mr. Pennant 

 became half-seas over ; and another 

 friend that was in company carefully 

 placed himself between Permact 



