Dec. 1, 1885.] 



KNOWLEDGE ♦ 



67 



plumaj^e and powers of imitation, and its feats miglit 

 easily form a lengthy contribution to tliese pages, but one 

 must suffice, and this occurred to myself. In July, 1874-, 

 I bdught a pair of fledglings, intending to take them home 

 when we took furlough in December, 



Next door there lived an eccentric medical officer, who 

 was an amateur in snakes : until I knew him, I was 

 under the impression that he kept an enormous farm- 

 yard, for turkeys gobbled, geese cackled, ducks quacked, 

 guinea-fowls p:ickecked, cocks crew, and fowls, chased for 

 slaughter, screamed all day long. Calling one day, I 

 casually alluded to his farm-yard ; lie burst out laughing, 

 and led me to see it. To my amazement, I fnund it to 

 consist of a single cockatoo, which thus marvellously re- 

 produced a farm-yard. Well, my Mynas hung silent in 

 the verandah until we went home in December, remained 

 so during the voyage, and until we settled at Brighton in 

 the following January. One day I heard the familiir 

 screams of '■ a sudden death," and, with Indian a.ssocia- 

 tions fresh in mind, fancied tliat the cook was killing a 

 fo^jvl for dinner. 



A day or two after our landlord informed mc that I 

 was deteriorating his premises by keeping fowls; and that 

 the neighbours would be sure to complain. On my 

 totally denying the accusation, he replied " That he had 

 distinctly beard various fowl-calls.'' Disbelieving me, I 

 lieard afterwards that he threatened the cook for keeping 

 fowls in fashionable lodgings. Her reply was : " Lor' 

 bless your soul, sir, them is no fowls as you hears, but 

 tbem furriu' birds which master brought from the 

 Hinjees." And so it was ; the Mynns were now, in 

 Brighton, uncorking the recollections which they had 

 bottled up in Lueknow six months before, and we had 

 hencefurth to labour under the suspicion of harbouring a 

 farm-yard in a fashionable neighbourhood. All that we 

 could do, in self-defence, was to allow the Mynas to 

 perform publicly, in an open window ; but then we always 

 had an admiring crowd of gaping ca,ds on the pavement, 

 which was not convenient. R. F. Hutchinson, M.D. 



The Sabbat.uiians of St. Kilda. — The St. Eildians, says the 

 St. Jaiiifg's Giizrttf, have taught a lesson to the kind-hearted per- 

 sons who set sail the other day witli provisions for tliem. 8t. Kilda 

 is a dreary island in the far north, subject to periodic attacks of 

 starvation, and a week ago a steamer left Harris laden by Sama- 

 ritans with the good things of which the St. Kildians were known 

 to be destitute. It is a comparatively easy matter to stock a ship 

 with presents for the St. Kildians, but quite a different matter to 

 land them. The island is guarded from the outer world by a raging 

 sea that whirls round it unceasingly, and the relief party congratu- 

 lated themselves when they managed to cast anchor close to the 

 sliore. Then they got out their glasses and eagerly scanned the 

 island to see the half-starved inhabitants come rushing towards the 

 steamer. To their bewilderment, not a soul was to be seen. It was 

 a deserted island. Then a stream of people issued from the church, 

 and the arrivals remembered that it was the Sabbath-day. Some 

 of them scrambled ashore, and, hurrying to the chief man, asked 

 him for assistance to get the goods landed at once, while wind and 

 sea permitted. The chief man is the minister, and in St. Kilda he 

 holds despotic sway. He answered the inquiry sternly in the nega- 

 tive. The St. Kildians had other things than food to think of on the 

 Sabbath. Then could he guarantee, it was asked, favourable weather 

 in the morning .' for if the wind shifted the steamer would have to 

 be ofE. The minister was unmoved. " He could only promise that 

 the men would be ready to man their boats as soon as the Sabbath 

 was out, not a minute before, and he trusted that the same Provi- 

 dence which had put it into men's hearts to send them corn and 

 potatoes would keep the wind steady in the north-east." At twelve 

 o'clock precisely the work of disembarkation began, but what were 

 the thoughts of the St. Kildians and the relief party while they 

 waited for the passing of the Sabbath is not told.—' [The St. Kil- 

 dians, through intermarriages within their own race, have so dete- 

 riorated that besides being — as above shown— semi-idiotic, half the 

 new-born children die of lock-jaw a few days after birth. This 

 throws curious light on the old and absurd "belief that different 

 nations descended severally from single pairs. — K. P.] 



Bt Richard A. Proctoe. 



I HATK received so many letters itrglug that ;.s the 

 Replies to Correspondents (which many seem to have 

 enjoyed !) have ceased, Editorial Gossip should at least 

 not bo discontinued, ."^nd might even be extended, that 

 it would be discourteous on my part not to respond to 

 the request. Therefore, I hr.ve penned a few paragr;:,phs 

 about such matters as seemed suitable for this sort of 

 disconnected chit-chat. 



* * * 



It is doubtful whether we should regard it as a 

 quaint indication of American character, or rather as 

 illustrating human nature, that when Mr. Shaw (Josh 

 Billings) wrote in good Englisli and under his own 

 name, his philosophy fell dead ; when he began to 

 publish ill-spelt and nngrammatical i^hilosophy, under an 

 assumed name, he had r, large number cif readers. I 

 cnnnot for my own part quite see why interest should be 

 taken in reading the remark, " If yit seek wisdom, my 

 yttng friend, studdy men and things ; if you desire larn- 

 ing, studdy dikshionarys," white the same remark 

 properly spelt shotild pr.ss unheeded. If the former 

 version is found to be funny because ill-spelt, there must 

 be a most imperfect idea as to what constitittes fun and 

 humour ; but if the wisdom of the saying constitutes its 

 value, one would say that it would be at least as impres- 

 sive when properly sjielt as with " larning " for " learn- 

 ing '' and " studdy '' for " study." "Would the American 

 ptiblic, I wonder, rusk in their thousands to buy a version 

 of the Proverbs of Solomon in the " phunny phawm ' 

 which Artemus "Ward, Josh Billings, and Eli Perkins 

 found so attractive ? Would it be more profitable to 

 read, — " Go 2 the aunt, thow slugud, konsidr her wais 

 &■ B Ts," than to read the saying in the usual form ? 

 Or again, " The larfter ov phoolz iz lik the kraklin' ov 

 thawns undr a pott," — would that have more influence on 

 those who find fun in bad spelling than the saying as 

 usttally printed in our Bibles 'f 



* * « 



Americans find Englishmen very impervious to 

 American fun, even as Englishmen find Scotsmen im- 

 pervious to English jokes. A good deal may prob.xbl}' 

 be said in each ease on both sides ; but many of the 

 stories supposed to illusfr.ate dulness of apprehension 

 rather indicate, I think, a more delicate apprehension 

 of what constitutes real wit. A joke that passes as good 

 in one country may be regarded as no joke at all in 

 another ; but that may be because it really is a very poor 

 joke indeed. In other cases, a joke niaj' be taken 

 solemnly by way of joke, — by no means from want of 

 wit. Thus Lamb tells us that when Coleridge drew the 

 curtain hiding his pet picture, saying to a Scottish friend, 

 " What do you think of 'my beauty' ? " the Scotsman 

 not apprc'hendiug the sense in which Coleridge spoke of 

 the j)ainting as " his beauty," answered, " I think highly, 

 Mr. Coleridge, of your abeelity, but I cannot say I think 

 much of your beauty." And this has been quoted as a 

 sample of Scottish obtuseness ! Judging from the 

 Scotsmen I have known, with not (I think) one single 

 exception, that Scottish friend of Coleridge's, solemnly 

 though he uttered his remark, made there the only joke 

 that was missed on that occasion. 



* * * 



So with the Scotsman who when told that the Kil- 

 kenny cats had fought till nothing but two tails were 



