6 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. 



and have marginal references to article on Equestrianism. 

 [N.B, — At dinner I make notes under the table, or in short- 

 hand — my own shorthand — on my wristband ; as lazy boys 

 used to take in dates for an examination and get found out.] 



" Why," says Gloppin, " I ride thirteen stun, and you must 

 weigh quite two stun more than I do." 



" O, no," I say confidently. 



" I'll lay you a fiver you're nearer fifteen stun than 

 thirteen," he returns, sharply. 



This is another sporting way of his of riding rough-shod 

 over you. He knows I won't bet, and, because I don't take 

 his wager, everybody present thinks he must be right and 

 I must be wrong. 



" What do you walk ? " he asks, inquisitorially. 



I don't know, and I haven't been weighed for two years. 

 I haven't, because I object to the process. I shouldn't so 

 much if it could be done quietly, and no one except yourself, 

 be a bit the wiser. But a weighing-machine is generally in 

 some conspicuous part of some public building, and if you 

 pay your penny and sit down, lots of people come round you, 

 and make remarks as to what they think you are, and then 

 there's great excitement when the weighing machinist gives 

 out your ticket and announces your weight. 



I also object to it on another ground besides that of 

 publicity, and it is that I don't believe the machines are 

 correct. I don't think they give a correct return any more 

 than any Income-tax payer does. No v/cighing-machine 

 that I've tried has ever satisfied me. 



I reply that when I was last weighed I think I was about 



