12 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. 



subject — and add that you yourself are not a military 

 man. 



Should he, however, have to excuse himself on the same 

 score, you can take high ground (all part of metaphorical 

 field operations with " trenches " and " high ground "), and 

 observe that you had asked for information, under the impres- 

 sion that he was in the Ai-my. This will flatter him, as a 

 rule, and he may after this confide to you, with a smile, that 

 he travels in the wool trade. 



Happy Thought. — If so, look out for being fleeced. [N.B. 

 — Arrange this jeu de mot. Put it down to Sydney Smith, 

 or Sheridan, or Theodore Hook.] 



This " assumption for purposes of conversation " would 

 really be found a most entertaining pastime for voyageiirs. 

 You can be eccentric in your assumptions. Thus, meeting 

 a gentleman in black, with an imitation Roman collar, high 

 ecclesiastical coat, and so forth, you can ask him, " How's 

 the dashing Ninety-fourth getting on ? " and " where's he 

 quartered now?" If this irritates him, be provided with 

 pince-nez; pull them out, stick them on your nose, survey 

 him from hat to heel, and apologise for short sightedness. 



Assume somebody you've never seen before in your life to 

 be Lord Wunborough, for example, whom also you've never 

 set eyes on. In the course of conversation on politics, say 

 to him, with a knowing twinkle, but preserving a deferential 

 tone, " Yet I think your Lordship voted on the opposite side 

 last Session." He will blush, smile, feel half inclined to 

 accept the title, but honesty will gain the victory over his 



