120 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. 



say, reservedly and sadly, " Gloppin, you should have come 

 to me in the hour of need. Never more, Gloppin, be officer, 

 of mine." 



Then Gloppin would explain. He always explains, and 

 invariably makes it appear that, whatever the fault was, it 

 was all onyo7ir side, never on his. Qzn' s'ex'cuse s' accuse vs, 

 what he acts upon, and so he never has an excuse, but an 

 explanation. His explanations, too, are overwhelming and 

 unanswerable. He contrives to show himself in such brilliant 

 colours, and his friend (the injured party) he exhibits, by 

 inference, as a mean and sordid character. 



Thus, supposing, in consequence of Gloppin's not coming 

 when required, and giving his valuable advice about the 

 horse, I buy the animal, and the animal turns out " nasty " — 

 say that he bites my leg, or hand, or rears, or kicks, or rolls 

 over with me — (this last must be very uncomfortable, though, 

 somehow, it sounds genial and funny) — and I have several 

 ribs broken. Well, I meet Gloppin afterwards, and I say to 

 him, coldly and reproachfully, — 



" Ah, Gloppin, if you had come as you offered to do, 

 and had given me your advice, I shouldn't have bought that 

 infernal animal, which rolled over with me, which pitched 

 me over his head, which kicked my teeth out, which bit a 

 piece out of my arm," (Sic, &c. 



Gloppin does not, there and then, express his sorrow, but 

 immediately, in an injured tone, and looking horribly hurt 

 (more than myself, who am hurt all over), replies, — 



" Aly dear fellow, how could I ? When your telegram 

 came I had been up from eight in the evening till five the 



