i84 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. 



more correct to call this his amusingly instructive style. 

 '^ Yes, Si'r" he goes on, "little Dicky Diet is your man to 

 keep Master Stumjack in order." (Stumjack, he explains, 

 is the Christy-Minstrel-Drawing-room phrase for politely 

 alluding to the st-m-ch. This is his delicacy in my Aunt's 

 presence.) " Dicky Diet's your man," he says, putting his 

 hands in his trowsers pockets and rattling some keys by 

 way of an accompaniment. " Take Matthew Mutton well 

 done, hot. Victoria Vegetable's not a bad girl in moderation. 

 Finish up with little Tommy Tonic. Picking up. Sir, that's 

 what the Colonel wants." 



By Colonel he means /ne. 



" I've always heard," my Aunt observes, " that Champagne 

 is an excellent thing for a cold." 



" Quite right, Ma'am. When this insect" — we understand 

 him as alluding to himself — " has the snivelicis in the head, 

 he finds that, for a regular pick up, there's nothing so good as 

 the remedy of Peter Pommery, extra dry, and drink nothing 

 else till you go to Mr. Lullaby. Next morning up with the 

 lark. Corporal Cold and Brigadier Bronchitis off the scene. 

 No mustard plasters need apply." 



This suggestion of a remedy seems to restore us all to good 

 spirits, excepting Cazell, who will have it that there's a 

 deposit of sugar in all Champagne, which must do — I don't 

 exactly catch what — " to the " (I think he says) " hypochon- 

 drium." 



All my friends have to go away, except Englemore, ^\•ho 

 says he can stop to dine, merely, he puts it, as a medical 

 adviser. 



