214 OCCASIONAL HAPPY THOUGHTS. 



Here was a simple one, almost pretty in its simplicity, 

 " What constitutes the crime of larceny ? " 



" Taking a pocket-handkerchief," was the first answer 

 that arose to my lips. But why only a pocket-handkerchief.^ 

 That wouldn't do. " To take anythi?tg.^' That sounded 

 like an invitation to luncheon — Would I take anything? 

 Ton my word, I say to myself, one ought to know what 

 larceny is. It was mere quibbling to say it was theft. No. 

 The viva voce portion commenced. 



" Could I," I was asked, " state some cases in which an 

 indictment would lie for words spoken ? " 



Could I? No, I couldn't but I would try. "An indict- 

 ment would lie," I began, sticking closely to the form of the 

 question, " for words spoken when " — here I considered. 

 The examiner waited. He didn't suggest anything, so I 

 began again — ''words spoken, — that is, — in words spoken, 

 an indictment would lie" — a sudden inspiration. I had 

 mistaken the sense of the word lie. I had it, and finished 

 brilliantly, "An indictment, in fact, would lie, if it said, for 

 instance, that such and such words" — I lengthened it out on 

 purpose to give a legal tone to my explanation — "said to 

 have been spoken had not been spoken.'^ The examiner 

 looked up and asked me if I had understood his question. 

 On my replying perfectly, he thanked me, and told me I 

 might go. He had had enough of me. But I was begin- 

 ning to take rather a fancy to him. I should have liked to 

 have engaged him in general conversation. We should 

 have understood one another then. He made a note of my 

 name, and it was intimated to me the next mornin.ar that 



