OUR REPRESENTATIVE MAN. 275 



an army and navy I'd have ! England should tremble every 

 morning, and the Stock Exchange would be crowded an 

 hour and a half before the usual time by excited Brokers, 

 eager for the latest news from the Island. 



There should be a regiment called the Black Gang Chiners, 

 or Black Gang Chinese, a troop, or troupe (for it sounds 

 more like some new form of Christy Minstrels ; not before 

 it's wanted by the way), which should strike terror to the 

 hearts of the foe. What a band should accompany this 

 picked body of men ! Every known instrument played by 

 its own unequalled professor, from the tom-tom to the 

 triangle and bones, and Jew's-harp. Jew's-harp ! then, 

 again — I'd re-establish the People on certain conditions 

 (financial and favourable, of course), and they should have 

 the sole right to the left-off army clothing. There should be 

 equal laws, and but one punishment for everything. This 

 last should be redeemable by a fine to be paid into the Royal 

 Treasury. The Government would be Autocratic and 

 Paternal; and I should have gambling-tables at all the 

 principal towns. The Prince of Monaco would be nowhere 

 when compared with the Emperor of the Isle of Wight. It 

 would be necessary to take a name, establish a dynasty, and 

 an aristocracy. The first nobleman would be the Pier at 

 Ryde. This reminds me that the place of Court Jester would 

 not be long vacant ; but on terms — viz. , one old joke, or 

 twice the same joke before the same company, and " Off with 

 his head ! '^ a sentence which would be immediately carried 

 into execution, unless a fine equivalent to the offence Avere 

 paid down siir le champ. 



T2 



