316 PERSONAL EXPERIENCES 
long-past states of happiness and misery; it is the 
feeling that all these events and passions have left 
in the mind, even after the actual facts, the cause 
of the associations, have been forgotten. The feeling 
creates the expression, and as every individual life 
differs in its emotional experiences and the subse- 
quent associations from every other life, the expression 
which each one of us finds in music, and in whatever 
he sees and hears, is his own and differs from that 
of others. 
To return to my own experiences. In time, when 
I had more and a fuller experience of music, vocal 
and instrumental, in concert halls and operas, the 
agitation grew less and less until after years I could 
listen and take my pleasure without any painful 
after effects. Something of the original disturbing 
power in music remains, when, for instance, I have 
listened to a great symphony or a great opera and 
am haunted for days by a persistent recurrence of 
certain passages; but it is no longer a pain. Or, if 
a pain, it is a pain one would not willingly forgo. 
In conclusion of this chapter I am concerned to 
think that the musical reader may have misunder- 
stood the words used at the outset, when, after 
confessing to my ignorance of music, I stated that 
the subject Would be instrumental music as it exists. 
The chapter itself will serve to show that it was never 
my intention to deal with music as an art and a science, 
but to regard it solely from the evolutionary point 
of View as an outcome of life, as natural as singing 
to treat of its development, of the qualities which 
