SEVENTH EMPTYING. 101 



guest slipped out of the room into the hall to take off his 

 boots, and, whilst stooping at the business, his face and form 

 hidden from the returning and indignant lady, she mistook 

 him for her husband and gave him a tremendous crack with 

 the book on his bald cranium, saying, at the same moment, 

 " There, that's for asking him to stay a' nicht." Thus 

 things were made pleasant for him. 



Two little girls were getting ready for school, when one 

 of them chanced to see the clock at five minutes to nine. 

 " Oh ! Dolly," said the younger, " we shall be late, let us 

 bose kneel down and pray we shan't." " No," said the 

 other, " let us run along and pray as we go ; " so they ran, 

 and practical sense triumphed. 



It was a fond parent reading a young hopeful's letter, 

 and thus he began : " Dear dad, The first thing I saw 

 when I got here was Psyche." " Gosh ! " said the old man, 

 as he put down the letter and let his glasses fall, " that 

 boy will never learn ; and after all his schooling, too. 

 P-s-y-c-h-e ; what a way to spell fish." 



An Englishman and two Scots were travelling in a 

 railway train together. The Englishman ran down Scotland 

 and everything in it, particularly the dirty parts of Glasgow. 

 A Scotchman said all Scotch cities were not like Glasgow, 

 and instanced Aberdeen. Then that Englishman arose 

 in his might and thus delivered himself: "Aberdeen! I 

 lodged there once for two years ; the houses are granite, the 

 streets are granite, the people are granite, and if anybody 

 has a baby they give it a granite ball to play with for fear it 

 should break it. I had a granite landlady," he continued, 



