SEVENTH EMPTYING. 115 



Still the soldier would not part. At this point a friend said, 

 "Well, Colonel, where does the joke appear?" "Joke," 

 said the Colonel, " there is no joke about it. Does anyone 

 suppose I would have parted with that whisky for a whole 

 troop of horses ? But it just shows how disgustingly fond 

 of whisky some people can be." 



* * 



An old angler up at Shap hooked a very handsome trout 

 and played him for a long time with much skill and patience, 

 being frequently in imminent danger of losing him, but 

 finally bringing him within two feet of his landing net. 

 Just as he was about to slip the net under the trout and 

 make things safe, the fish made one despairing plunge and 

 was gone, whereupon the irate angler danced a brief dance 

 of rage on the bank and thus addressed the lost fish : " Gang 

 awa' ye worthless divvle ; it would tak a pund o' butter to 

 mak ye into decent meat." 



* # 



A gentleman in Wensleydale having an Irish gardener, 

 asked him, on about the only suitable day for bobbing with 

 the living fly during a recent summer, to get him a dozen 

 blue-bottles. When the angler was ready to set out, his 

 faithful gardener requested his attendance in the yard for a 

 minute, and, pointing to a row of seedy-looking bottles of all 

 kinds ranged against the wall, said, " Shure, sorr, they are 

 not all blue, but they are the bluest I could find." 



* * 



I have this from the vicar of a well-known Lancashire 

 parish : The squire took it into his head to give his annual 

 dinner to the tenants, not, as usual, in the village inn, but in 

 the dining room of the hall. All the splendour of a great 

 house was on the tables, and the quiet -going farmers were 



