n8 AA r ANGLER'S BASINET. 



*' Well, go on," said the captain. " I want to shpake to ye 

 a few minnits in private, captain." " Confound you, go on ; 

 what in thunder have you got to say ? " " Well," said the 

 Irishman, " ye know that Scotchman ye shipped without a 

 character." " Well, what about him ? " " I just want to- 

 tell your honour that the dirty thief has gone, and he has 

 taken one o* your buckets." 



* * 



At a football match in Edinburgh a braw policeman was 

 inside the ropes, and his broad back effectually blocked the 

 view of several enthusiastic young men outside. After they 

 had stood this for some time, one of them proceeded thusly, 

 " I say, policeman, dae ye ken onything aboot the game o* 

 draughts ? " " Weel," said the officer, " I play noo and 

 then ; why are ye asking ? " " Because I was thenkinV 

 said the other, " it was about time ye were making a move." 

 " Aweel," replied the policeman sententiously, " if I mak' a 

 move it will be to tak' a mon." 



The late Edwin Waugh told me he was once sitting at a 

 big dinner in Manchester, having on his left hand a jovial 

 Fylde farmer to whom the whole proceedings of the banquet 

 had been a revelation and a glory. When the ice pudding 

 came round the farmer looked at it doubtfully and declined 

 it. Waugh, always bent on mischief, strongly recommended 

 the farmer to take some. " What is it ? " he enquired. " It 

 is an ice pudding," said the poet. " Well," said the farmer, 

 " if you say it's nice, ahll hev some," and he helped himself 

 to about half a pound, and began with a table spoon. Up 

 came his jaw with a snap on the icy mass in his mouth, and 

 when he had sufficiently recovered to speak he looked at 

 Waugh, and as if he quite comprehended it as a practical 

 joke, said, " Snowball, by jingo ! " 



