SEVENTH EMPTYING. 127 



although we had been accustomed to boats and water all our 

 lives, we would both willingly have parted with most of our 

 worldly goods to have been safe again on dry land. The 

 frail craft sank deep in the trough t of the huge seas, then 

 rose slowly on the crest of the next wave, canted over 

 slowly, came down with a run, and was struck by the 

 white mane on the top of the succeeding roller, shipping 

 gallons of water every time we were so struck. Meanwhile 

 the boatman kept slashing away at the lake with his oars, 

 fighting the air at every other stroke with one, while the 

 other was deep under water, and saying, " By something " 

 above the roar of the wind whenever a big sea rushed up 

 and threatened to swamp us absolutely, which happened 

 about every half minute. Just as we were in the worst of it, 

 sitting as silent and solemn as a couple of wooden gods, and 

 wondering what the verdict of the jury would be, and 

 whether anybody would come to look for us, and, if so, what 

 part of us the drags would catch, that boatman laid down 

 his oars, put his hands on his knees, and, looking helplessly 

 at us with the vacantest of alcoholic smiles, said, " Hey, I is 

 drunk ! " The tidings of comfort this imparted must be 

 left to your imagination. Beyond threatening to brain him 

 instantly with an oar if he did not row for his life and ours, 

 we neither spoke nor moved until we jumped ashore, and 

 then we wasted five minutes in telling him what we thought 



of him. 



* * 



Two working men had been to Church. The sermon 

 had been about miracles, and when they came out, one said 

 to the other : " Bill, what is a miracle ? " " Doesn't 'a 

 know?" said the other. "No." "Then walk on a few 

 yards, and I will shew thee." The man of enquiring mind 

 did as he was told, and his instructor immediately took a 

 flying run at him from behind. " There," said the adminis- 

 trator, when he had delivered a forty-horse power kick, 



