SEVENTH EMPTYING. i$* 



Charles replied, " Well, ye know, sir, there is nae doubt 

 ye're a real gentleman, everybody knows that ; but, by 

 gosh ! ye do eat carrion." 



# # 



A poor old farmer was at his latter end, and his considerate 

 wife had had him brought down to the kitchen so that he 

 might be handy to carry out when he popped off. His 

 daughter saw his almost glazing eye and enquired if there 

 was anything the old chap could fancy before he went, and he 

 remarked in almost inaudible words that he thought he could 

 manage a slice out of the middle of a home-fed ham that was 

 hanging from the ceiling, if it were not cut too thin and not 

 overdone. And his thoughtful wife overhearing this said, 

 " What is that thou says ? thou can't have any of it. I have 

 told thee afore, we are keeping that ham for t' funeral." 

 And then, like Tiny Tim, he did not die. 



An angler in Teesdale, entering a little inn in a remote 

 district, was surprised to see on the wall of the kitchen the 

 legend, Id on pavle Frangais. " How does it happen," said 

 he to the landlord, " that you find it necessary to speak 

 French here ? " " French ? " was the answer, " there is 

 nobody speaks French, here." " Then why do you keep 

 that announcement on the wall ? that means that French 

 is spoken here." " Well, I will be shot ! " was the reply, 

 4< if a commercial traveller from Darlington did not sell me 

 that for a Latin motto : * Heaven bless our home.' " 



# * 



A gentleman was staying at an Irish inn. At 7-0 in the 

 morning he was knocked up by Boots, who remarked that it 

 was seven o'clock. The gentleman, from underneath the 

 bed clothes, ordered him off, saying he was not going to get 



