SEVENTH EMPTYING. 133 



if you please." His Honour did as he was told and said 

 4C tails." " It is * heads,' " said the culprit, putting the coin 

 carefully into his own pocket, " there, your Worship, that is 

 what we call a fly." And during the laughter which 

 followed, his Honour let them off. 



A newly-married couple had ventured on a little dinner 

 party with a new cook, an Irish lass fresh from Dublin's 

 great city. All went well until the close of the dinner, when 

 there appeared a sweet omelette which was freely tasted by 

 everybody ; and then a solemn gloom overspread that party 

 and silence ensued. Nothing more awful to taste and smell 

 had ever been encountered by any of the unhappy guests. 

 Dinner over, the hostess sought an early opportunity of 

 interrogating Bridget as to the meaning of this contretemps. 

 " Well, mum," says she, " I will not deceive ye the eggs 

 as I put in it was bad ; but shure the fault was none of mine, 

 for when I axed the man as brought 'em to the door if they 

 were fresh, says he, * To be shure they are ; the hen that 

 laid them eggs is twelve years ould to-day, and if a hen of 

 twelve year ould does not know how to lay fresh eggs I 

 don't know what does.' " 



Two anglers, one of them I much regret to say a much 

 esteemed friend of mine, were recently returning from a 

 fishless expedition on a west country river, when, passing a 

 barn close by the stream, they espied two newly killed ducks 

 hanging. The contemplative one of the duet contemplated 

 for a moment and then said he thought they could " land " 

 those ducks if his fellow conspirator would go to the farm 

 close by for two pints of milk and bring the farmer back 

 with him. Done ; and when my friend returned with the 

 farmer, the first thing that struck his conspiring eye was a 



