SEVENTH EMPTYING. 139. 



" and I will show you my garden." So they strolled out 

 together, the pangs of hunger growing on the buyer at every 

 step. Gradually the proud owner led the way to a bed of 

 truly magnificent cucumbers. " There," said he, " did you 

 ever see finer cucumbers than those ?" " Never," said his 

 patron, " never in my life," and he meant it. Now, thought 

 the buyer, if this old skinflint would only give me one of 

 these to take home to my wife it would do something to 

 relieve the monotony of the proceedings. Slowly the artist 

 bent down as if to cut one, and then after stroking one down 

 as he would a kitten, he reared himself up again and said, 

 " Yes, they are beautiful, aren't they ? Next time you 

 come if you will bring a salmon with you, we will have 

 one of these cut up with it ?" Then the amateur suddenly 

 remembered an engagement in a distant part of another 

 county. 



* * 



A gentleman and his newly-married wife went for their 

 honeymoon for some fishing in the Scottish lochs. They 

 took with them an Irish servant, who was strictly enjoined, 

 under penalty of dismissal, not to betray the fact that his 

 master and mistress were only recently married. On the 

 second day after their arrival, Pat's master perceived that a 

 vast amount of curiosity was being bestowed on him and his 

 wife, not only at the inn but about the village. He 

 summoned his servant, and the following dialogue ensued : 

 " Pat, have you been telling the people here we are newly 

 married ? " " No, sorr." " What have you told them ? " 

 " Well, sorr, they axed me if you and the missis was a new 

 married couple, and, faix, I said, ' No.' I told 'em ye was 

 not married, and, begorra, I'll stick to it." 



A certain old man who had made his fortune, had one 

 son who idled his time away week by week, until at length 



